Posts by ReallyTrulyAthena

Another thought I had was how utterly scary this place was, too. What I mean is that even though I was DF'd for a few years by this point, the forum really exposed the JWs, and I started to doubt all my belief systems. It was un-nerving at first and for a while, I thought I fell down the "rabbit hole" and was hanging out with The Cheshire Cat!

57

When You First Saw This Place What Was Your Reaction?

by minimus in

jw
friends

were you shocked?.

was it eye opening?.

did you think these "apostates" were pretty much right?.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Shock and utter amazement...and then the was turned on.

Also, "Wow, hey! Apostates!" You know how much we all had been drilled to stay far, far away from Big Bad Apostates (cue spooky music). So initially there was residual guilt of lurking & reading here -- the feeling like you just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

Mmmmm, cookies.

7

What is wrong with these people?

by misguided in

i'm at work...doing my job....letting, what happens to be a jw patient know what their blood-thinner medication orders are.. simple, yes...uncomplicated no!!.

i give them the instructions the dr. gave me...and then...they say to me..."oh, i met your parents...they're so nice.

they came over to our house with another couple.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Geeze, they can exclude me for my df'ing, but why should I learn from someone at work, that my parents were in town and didn't even think about letting me or my children, or my husband (not a JW) know that they were here. How offending is that???

I'm sorry to hear this, misguided. I had a similar experience where my Dad & stepmom came all the way from another state to attend a CO in the city where I live. The assembly hall was five minutes from my house. I found out later and was devastated that he couldn't even take the time to call me, let alone see me.

It's rubbish is what it is. And completely offensive! One can only hope later they really see what they are doing. *hugs*

The purpose of df'ing is to make you feel bad and excluded. It is to bully you by making you feel uncomfortable and distressed so you return to the love of the organisation.

nugget - I guess I could never understand this particular cult tactic - it's a complete & utter disconnect. Imaginary DF thought: "Hey, I totally dig how badly you guys are treating me! I feel like crap! Tell you what, I think I'll come back just so you love me again...." Bleaych

60

Name Some Stupid Organization/ Congregation Rules

by minimus in

jw
friends

there's a lot of them!.

one rule is you can't wear a tee shirt with writing on it if you are working at a quick build kh .

nothing with logos.. let's add more stupid rules that were in your hall or that the organization has.. .

ReallyTrulyAthena

Great topic, this is fun!

Stay after the meetings and enjoy the lovely fellowship.

For a girl that has gone to bed at 8 her entire life, service meeting night was much like a Nazi torture room.

Magwitch, that is SO TRUE. I could never understand keeping young children out late on week-nights like that (unless on the rare occasions, the 'rents told us we were going out afterwards to the local Perkins restaurant for a dessert - then, of course, it was GREAT!) But most of the time, I was SOOOO bored (and probably why I have a huge imagination now). But also probably why my entire life I've never slept well either!

Vampire - you naughty undead, you. LOL!

32

The Journey to My First Post

by ReallyTrulyAthena in

hello, jwn!.

like other newbies, im a long time lurker, first-time poster.

recently, i created a profile, but then hesitated on submitting my first post.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Thanks to you both again, scarred & bobld (hugs!)

VampireDCLXV - thank you for your kind welcome. I think it's yet another sad commentary on the JWs to observe the high levels of depression, neglect and loneliness within the ranks (and the tragic cases of those who take their own life due to such). Supposedly, we were 'the happiest people', right? Do you remember being at the KH thinking "Where? I don't see any happy people. I certainly don't feel it" or "Surrounded by many - yet, for all they care - I'm cast to the wind". You nailed it with "emotional vortex" - that's a great turn of phrase to truly capture what it was like! Indeed and amen to that.

jamieblowers - thank you, glad to be here. I got choked up, too. Last night after posting, me and the memory of that shy young girl had a long comfort session. She's still part of me, and at times I have to remind her that everything's going to be all right.

Chalam - thank you and my blessings to you as well!

chicken little - thanks for my welcome. It's so nice to be understood on those 'many levels'. My love to you.

I look forward to having more discussions with you all. Peace!

22

The Journey to My First Post

by ReallyTrulyAthena in

hello, jwn!.

like other newbies, im a long time lurker, first-time poster.

recently, i created a profile, but then hesitated on submitting my first post.

ReallyTrulyAthena

3Mozzies - thank you. I'm glad the "crappy JW life" is gone as well...now just dealing with some of the residuals of it, I guess. I'll be engaging you fine folk in further discussion 'bout that! LOL

Scarred - so many families utterly laid waste by this religion - it makes me feel so sad. Glad to be here with people such as you who can relate.

OTWO - yeah, Dad pressuring Mom like that...? Interesting, and I also think another way this religion uses tactics of fear and isolation under the guise of "bringing Sheep into the Fold". Ack. Writing that phrase just made me feel dirty. Think I'll go scour myself off now.

Moshe - thanks for the welcome...my healt "felt" good to share the story.

Jadeen - thank you. Oh yes, I would agree with that statement. I think there are those in the JWs (not all) that SAY the words of love, but their actions don't like up. It's just wrong and sad.

Crisis of Conscience - thanks! I'm glad you liked reading it. Therapy (and a few years of anti-depressants) really did help. I still go to a therapy session or two on an as-needed basis. And I reallly needed one lately after writng the letter to my Dad! Talk about opening up the figurative Pandora's Box of emotions.

Hirotaka - oh, I just had another flashback when you mentioned about sitting in the back of the hall, working towards reinstatement. I hated feeling like a 'social leper', than even the tiniest of glances my way would cause them such loathing. I'm sorry to hear you lost most of your family (hugs) but hope you are doing well and finding solace.

bobld - "reminds me of the inquisition". Good one! That indeed is the JC/'star chamber', huh? EEEK

cyberjesus - I'm glad to have made it aboard The Good Ship JWN and plan on staying put/reading more for a while. Thank you!

braveheart - thanks for reading my story(hugs). I can say my emotions aren't as toasty as yesterday. I felt a further sense of healing just by sharing it with you all. May I return the 'congrats on Freedom' to you as well!

32

The Journey to My First Post

by ReallyTrulyAthena in

hello, jwn!.

like other newbies, im a long time lurker, first-time poster.

recently, i created a profile, but then hesitated on submitting my first post.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Thank you, Sweet Pea. Both Freeminds and this board were HUGE in my finding the truth out about "The Truth" and have a LOT of respect and gratitude for both sites and for the wonderful people within.

I hope to be a good asset to this board - to contribute, be part of the discussion, help close old wounds and also to"give back". There are so many awesome assets here, folks who I've read about for a long time and whose diverse stories moved me to tears, tickled me with their sense of humor "in spite of it all", seized my heart with pain for their pain, or other tales that caused me to quake with anger over the various injustices delivered to them.

To the long-standing members of this forum; to those who have come and gone (and sometimes come back again); and to my fellow newbies - my hat is off to all of you. I'm glad to be here (HUGS).

Indeed - a toast to freedom!

22

The Journey to My First Post

by ReallyTrulyAthena in

hello, jwn!.

like other newbies, im a long time lurker, first-time poster.

recently, i created a profile, but then hesitated on submitting my first post.

ReallyTrulyAthena

Thanks, Hadit! It was hard but I'm glad that albatross if off my neck. :) Oh, you are far too kind - I'd like to think I have a good head on my shoulders ... now. *grins* Took a lot of work to get here. I am a wee bit proud that deep down I had some semblance of Self that said, "NO. You will not take me." It was such a small voice though, one that merely whispered for years. One that I had to fully reclaim and own as I got older. I hope that my experiences are helpful to others. To those on this board that I have read posts by for so long & found strength through them, and for those "worldlies" who helped me - I'm grateful. I'd like to give back and help others, too. Look forward to talking to you more.

32

The Journey to My First Post

by ReallyTrulyAthena in

hello, jwn!.

like other newbies, im a long time lurker, first-time poster.

recently, i created a profile, but then hesitated on submitting my first post.

ReallyTrulyAthena

@ Palm - thanks much It felt good to share and finally release the story locked within...

@ Mattieu - I'm glad to have been part of your Friday morning coffee ritual before you left for work. It's good to be in a healthier place, I agree - it was quite frightening for a while. I have to show a lot of love and forgiveness for that 'younger self' that post-DF went off the deep end and nearly lost her way...

@ caliber - yeah, perfection IS for robots! Ack, I'd make a lousy one anyways - all my feelings would make me cry and then I'd rust. Thanks for the feedback on my first post (blushes). This story has been "writing itself" in my head and on my heart for so long; the recent interaction with my father was definitely a catalyst for the contained words to bubble free to the surface and here I am. Oh, and thank YOU for sharing that quote! It is, well..."perfect"!