Nice_Dream

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Posts by Nice_Dream

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  29

  Considered rebellious because I choose to think for myself

  by LovelyEunie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi all, this is my first post.

  but i was one of those kids that was born into the whole jw thing, and like a good little witness kid i did everything i was supposed to do to please my parents (mainly my mom my dad's an unbeliever).

  my mom was very strict with me when it came to everything they taught, no holiday parttys at school, no sports, no worldy friends, i was only supposed to associate with other jw kids (my mom is one of those extremist jws, she says she doesn't judge, but she's a perfect example of one one of those sisters with the holier than thou attitude).

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  Nice_Dream

  It's only natural to think for yourself, unless you're in a controlling religion. I was like you when I was a child too. One of the worst things I did was cave in and help my classmates carve a pumpkin at Halloween, and I prayed to be forgiven for over a year because I committed such a horrible mistake (I think I was in Grade 4).

  You're brave to think for yourself! Continue on your journey. I was 16 when I started having doubts, and I waited 10 years to finally admit them to myself. In the meantime I was driving myself miserable trying to be a perfect JW, while still being mistreated by my JW "friends." Being an outcast amongst the Witnesses didn't stop once I became an adult. But now I have regular "worldly" friends who are super nice and normal! Wish I had left sooner.
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  11

  In all honesty...

  by Nephilim in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in all honesty... the blokes that thought up this whole scheme in the first place truly have won.

  they got their money.

  they had their power.

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  Nice_Dream

  Sometimes I feel the same as you. I was born in to this and have a warped view of the real world. Someone posted this book: Taking Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich. Hoping this will help, and if not I was planning on seeing a therapist to help me move forward with my life. Like you, I'm not sure where to go, or what there is to live for sometimes, but I remain hopeful and try to be in the moment and enjoy the little things in life.
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  32

  My wife wants to plan an anniversary party but we have different social circles...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  perhaps some of you who are unbelieving spouses married to witnesses have had to deal with this at one point of another.

  this is the first time for me and my wife and it has her concerned.

  my wife wants to plan an anniversary party for us and she wants to invite everyone that she and i know.

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  Nice_Dream

  "Does it really matter if someone with a psychological disorder thinks you don't live up to their expectations? They are the ones that need to 'get over it'. Not us."

  Totally true Black Sheep. It's hard getting over that paranoia of being "found out." My husband is petrified of being disowned by his family, definitely not a healthy way to live!
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  22

  Better Kingdom Melodies

  by LittleMac in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just a thought yesterday as i was eating lunch with my 5 yr. old son.

  the restaurant had ccr's bad moon rising playing, and i thought,.

  this could be a real up temp song to sing at the hall and it even has the lyrics that speak of impending doom.

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  Nice_Dream

  How awesome would it be to have a flashmob at a convention with that Uprising song? I would so be in it.

  They could also use Apocalypse Please by Muse for a more dramatic song about "the end."
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  217

  Feb. 15th WT - WT Society says DFed Ones are Lawless- Just Like Demons

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would assume that some or a good number of us here as normal humans in this society - consider " lawless " actions to include murder , robbery, extortion, rape, child abuse, war , terrorism, etc.

  the wt society has their own definition of what's considered " lawless ".

  anything that's considered a disfellowshipping offense in the jehovah's witnesses is now considered " lawless ".

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  Nice_Dream

  Shunning someone, especially your own child, is so unnatural and unloving. It works at keeping people in for the wrong reasons. My husband is petrified of losing his whole family, he almost has a nervous breakdown thinking about what will happen to him if they find out. That's no way to live your life, it's sick.
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  32

  My wife wants to plan an anniversary party but we have different social circles...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  perhaps some of you who are unbelieving spouses married to witnesses have had to deal with this at one point of another.

  this is the first time for me and my wife and it has her concerned.

  my wife wants to plan an anniversary party for us and she wants to invite everyone that she and i know.

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  Nice_Dream

  We never mix our JW friends with non-JW friends, so I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. Even as faded JWs, we were invited to a Super Bowl Party with my non-JW friend and her JW family and we declined because we are afraid of being judged by the JW relatives.

  That's great your wife wants a party though. Perhaps you could have a party with the JWs (if you could stand it), and then another with the rest of your friends and mutual friends? I've never been to a witness "gathering" (excluding weddings) that had worldly people mixed in with the JWs...it would cause quite a stir I'd imagine.

  I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'd try to work out a compromise though, or maybe just do something together as a couple.
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  116

  Does Genesis 19 condemn Homosexuality?

  by brotherdan in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  there are many "proof" texts that people (including jws) use to justify their rejection of anyone that is gay.

  there are a few scriptures that you can pull up and try to make a case for show homosexuals why they are evil and wrong.. i've been researching more of these scriptures and i'm coming to some very different conclusions than many other christians hold, especially jws.

  i wanted to talk about the first text used by many people to condemn homosexual behaviour.

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  Nice_Dream

  Interesting points! I enjoy reading your thoughts.
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  19

  Therapy

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i understand how difficult it can be to leave the jw religion.

  some even feel that they need therapy to deal with it.

  how many here have seen a therapist as a result of the jw's?

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  Nice_Dream

  I have, but she didn't know too much about witnesses, so it didn't help that much. But I keep meaning to see another one who understands controlling religion a bit better. Sometimes I feel like I've opened Pandora's box or something, and I have a difficult time realizing this life may very well be all there is...and I've wasted so much of it. I guess I just need help moving forward by myself, as my husband isn't in or out of the religion.
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  29

  Why I stopped the Bookstudy - Field Service from my home

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences
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  Nice_Dream

  man in black - I can't believe the conductor said it wasn't "conducive to theoctatic thinking" to take off shoes! In Canada, people are expected to take off their shoes...I don't know anyone who wears shoes in their house. Even if you go to the doctor's office in the winter, they have signs to take off your boots so the floor doesn't get yucky.

  Was it difficult getting rid of your bookstudy group? No one in my hall wanted to have it at their house, so a few groups met at the hall.
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  34

  my story, would like some advice

  by deservingone26 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  im looking for some advice.. so i grew up as a witness was baptized when i was seventeen, which by the way i was pushed into baptizm cuse my parents kept asking me when i was and threatned to not buy me a car if i didnt get baptized.

  since it was never in my heart i was never very dedicated and was disfellowshipped by nineteen i started the process of coming back but after bout four months i moved out.

  i started partying alot mainly with my other disfellowshipped friends and nonactive jw frien, we were drinking alot and smoking weed but soon i started feeling the need to go back so i started up at the meetings but i got bored and went back to my old ways, this has been what i have been doing for the last five years, partying getting drunk and drugs and then stopping and going back to the meetings for a couple months, the same process for last the last almost five years.

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  Nice_Dream

  You've received some really great advice already, so I won't add much. I just wanted to share this info about rebalancing your life after leaving a controlling religion: http://www.knappfamilycounseling.com/cultbalance.html It mentions the 12 areas of life we can strive to balance to have happiness in our lives. If we're missing attention to even one life section, it is very likely we will experience dysfunction, pain, and unhappiness. Of course the family aspect is more difficult for people with family still in the religion, but there are other ways we can try to fill that.

  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, and are on your way to making a great life for yourself. Is there anyone at work you could become friends with? Or join a gym or fitness class? If you have any hobbies or interests, you could seek out a class and get to know others there - like photography, or drop-in sports.

  I'm still in the process of making new friends. Luckily I found an old friend from over 10 years ago who recently settled down and stopped her party life. As you get older, hopefully your friends will start settling down and starting families, and their priorities will change.