my story, would like some advice

deservingone26

im looking for some advice.

so i grew up as a witness was baptized when i was seventeen, which by the way i was pushed into baptizm cuse my parents kept asking me when i was and threatned to not buy me a car if i didnt get baptized. since it was never in my heart i was never very dedicated and was disfellowshipped by nineteen i started the process of coming back but after bout four months i moved out. i started partying alot mainly with my other disfellowshipped friends and nonactive jw frien, we were drinking alot and smoking weed but soon i started feeling the need to go back so i started up at the meetings but i got bored and went back to my old ways, this has been what i have been doing for the last five years, partying getting drunk and drugs and then stopping and going back to the meetings for a couple months, the same process for last the last almost five years. i know i dont want to live my life getting drunk and doing drugs but i dont see myself being a witness either, i just dont think this disfellowshipping thing is right. but i can never have a normal relationship with my family if i dont, i think its crazy how my parents barely spk with me but yet they talk to my sister her who is a witness but yet she has been sleeping with her boyfriend and soon will having a baby by him and they not married, but since she has not gone forward to the brothers she not disfellowshiped they spk to her daily but when my dad sees me or mom they just say when u gonna come back so we can be a normal family again? which i think sometimes maybe i should just do it for them fam, but then im like like this religion is wrong ihave too many doubts but i dont know where else to go? any advice? i feel like my life isnt going anywhere

looloo

you poor soul, there is another life out there for you without drugs etc .. there is so much i could talk to you about but im up early so cant just now , im afraid it is just a cult like so many , look up children of god , flds, jonestown , waco texas , the fellowship to name but a few ! read escape by carolynn jessop and not without my sisters (cant rem authors name !) you will identify with these women im sure , you have shown courage by just coming on this site , good luck x message me if you wish x

Hairyhegoat

Welcome is the first thing I would like to say So sorry you are going through this mental tourture, your sister is on her way to been the same as you, shunned by all JW family if what you say is correct. Your parents are just like mine, shunning us for the last 3 months when they found out we was not going to meetings etc.. You have to be strong and take control of what's best for you, not your family who are using blackmail as a tool to get you to go back to the meetings. You sound a young person and if family take sides with a religion over family flesh and blood you know something is very wrong with their mental state ! We have got over the lack of contact with parents by filling our time with lots of activity outdoors and hobbies etc.. You dad is under the spell of the WTBTS and untill we bring this organisation down they will not see why they are wrong.

It makes me very mad to see everyday new ones like you having to come to a site for support when your own family / congregation left you in the wilderness. Please don't take this in a wrong way but if you see what the JW'S have done to my family then you would be as mad as me!!

DO NOT GO BACK TO THE KINGDOM HALL ! Use all of you real friends on JWN and we can offer any help you need to break free finally from this cult!

You take care

HHG says hello from the UK

Yan Bibiyan

Welcome to the board!

It may sound cliche but you have to find what makes you happy. A hobby, an educational goal, a career, volunteering, etc. Partying and drugs can be fun (not that I would know) but it's to a point and you seem to have reached this point. Take time away for a few weeks if circumstances permit, go on a vacation, think about what do you want from life.

On the other hand, I am happy to see that you can cut through the Watchtower's nonsense and get a grip on its deceptive ways.

Sorry to hear about how your family treats you - this is just one more indicator of how great the "good News" really are.

-Yan

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome...I'm sorry to hear about your troubles...many of us here agree with you that the disfellowshipping rule is cruel and damaging and not even scriptural....I do hope you can find a better alternative than the two extreme lifestyles...there are other options for the way you can live your life...give yourself a better chance at happiness soon...

Loz x

WontLeave

If you have family who are in and they are "good JWs", you can never have a normal relationship with them. Every time you talk to them it will be "Have you been going to the meetings?" "We didn't see you at the convention." "You going in service?" "You trying to become a MS?" And that's only if they're not the prying, backstabbing, snoopy kind who will contact your JW friends and try to manipulate information out of them.

I'm in and my parents are in, but I refuse to talk to them, because the only reason brainwashed, crazy JWs talk to rational ones is to try build a case against them. Be very cautious of elders calling to chat, relatives calling to chat, acquaintances from the Hall calling to chat... It's probably going to degrade into an inquisition under the false premise of "I'm just worried about you". Anything said in a conversation that includes the phrase "I'm just worried about you" is probably being relayed to the elders, possibly after being paraphrased into something other than what you said. Idle hands are the Devil's workshop and JWs are some very bored people. Just for some entertainment, they will throw their own friends and family to the wolves.

I came back in spite of the people, because they suck. I realized the doctrine was closer to the Bible than anything else, even though the attitudes of most of the people were about as far away from Christian as possible. If you're coming back for the people, you're making a big mistake. If you're coming back for the occasional gem of truth, it's not going to be easy. God's house has been taken over by Pharisees, so if you belong in God's house, they're going to hate you. If you're a Pharisee, you'll get along fine.

OnTheWayOut

You have to work on kicking the habit. Get some help, whatever is available outside of religion.

You can do that.

Beyond that, let your family know what you accomplish about kicking the habit and school and career and hope they acknowledge some of it and hope they can see past the silly disfellowshipping rules. Otherwise, enjoy some kind of relationship with your sister and any non-JW family, or at least make new friends that won't be so judgemental.

GrandmaJones

I am sorry to hear about your troubles. There is a life well lived that doesn't take being a witness. You can give up the party lifestyle, if that is what you want, without going back to the kingdom hall. Lots of people do. The world isn't divided into just good and bad people, the way the "world" is portrayed at the hall. Welcome to the board. We'll try to give you support.

Joliette

I hope your able to break you habit, and I HATE when parents push teens or children into baptism. Thanks for sharing your story.

flipper

DESERVING ONE 26- Welcome to the board friend. I'm sorry you've been through a lot of tough times. There are a lot of people outside the witnesses who are capable of being good friends to you - without the use of drugs. If you are addicted I recommend getting into a drug rehab center as soon as possible. People there will be able to assist you in the right direction. As far as your parents and family go - it seems they are not being fair socializing with your sister and not you. I have JW relatives as well and there is no rhyme or reason on WHY or HOW they do things.

But there are lots of caring people on this board and in this world to gain friendships with. I would pursue those which help you move on in life in a positive way. Seeing a professional counselor is also good. Please be assured of our unconditional friendship here. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to PM me. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

my story, would like some advice

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