Nice_Dream

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Posts by Nice_Dream

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  19

  wife seen part of "dateline" online, about pedophile in JW land

  by inbetween in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  a short update on my situation.. i am still in, trying to help my family to see the light.

  my wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the wts, reads wt articles with a critical mind, but she still views them as gods org, and at times can get quit defensive about it.. last night though, she seemed devastated about a program she watched, reagrding pedophiles (dateline i guess).

  she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed.

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  Nice_Dream

  inbetween - Here is a link to the official JW media site that has their child abuse policy: http://www.jw-media.org/aboutjw/article23.htm It also mentions what happens if the accused denies it.

  "If the accused denies the charge, the two elders may arrange for him and the victim to restate their position in each other’s presence, with elders also there. If during that meeting the accused still denies the charges and there are no others who can substantiate them, the elders cannot take action within the congregation at that time." (2nd paragraph)
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  19

  wife seen part of "dateline" online, about pedophile in JW land

  by inbetween in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  a short update on my situation.. i am still in, trying to help my family to see the light.

  my wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the wts, reads wt articles with a critical mind, but she still views them as gods org, and at times can get quit defensive about it.. last night though, she seemed devastated about a program she watched, reagrding pedophiles (dateline i guess).

  she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed.

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  Nice_Dream

  It would be nice if you could somehow mention the organization's policy for child abuse stating that if the accused abuser doesn't admit they did anything, the elders have a meeting with the abuser and the child together. That is so wrong! Why would Jehovah allow them to have such a backwards policy? That child would be so frightened.

  Little seeds like that might keep adding up and eventually your wife will see it's just like any other religion.
• 
  84

  Being honest with yourself, could you have reasonably adjusted your attitude and continued on as a JW?

  by miseryloveselders in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i ask this question in harmony with deedub's swan song thread which i linked below.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/205902/1/time-to-say-good-bye.

  to some degree, i think i understand where she's coming from.

  just speaking from my own experiences since stepping into the world of anonymous apostacy, i went through a few different phases of personal outlooks.

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  Nice_Dream

  Our hall wasn't a warm and fuzzy one like yours MLE, so it was an easy choice for me. I struggled for years to be friends with women with WAY too much drama and unhappiness, who gossiped about you as soon as you left the room. I began to avoid going to meetings because I didn't want to worry if Sister Moody was going to be kind to me or ignore me because she felt like it.

  Like MrMonroe, I believed it really was God's org, so I put up with feeling like crap because I wanted to please God. Once I realized it wasn't God's org, that was the end of it for me. I am much happier being out than I ever was in.
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  19

  Did having children make you a better or worse JW

  by journey-on in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after i had children, i changed gradually in the way i thought about the religion i was raised in.

  one day, it dawned on me that if my child was injured in an accident and needed blood to survive, there was no way in the world i would say "no" to a blood transfusion.

  why continue the charade?

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  Nice_Dream

  When I first had our child, I wanted to put him in a little bubble to stay a perfect JW when he was older. But eventually I realized that idea was ridiculous, and I didn't want him to suffer the things I did as a child just because the Watchtower said so. I didn't like trying to make him sit still for 2 hours at the meeting as an infant, or keep him in a carseat for 2 hours on service. It seemed so unnatural.

  Most importantly, I would never refuse blood to save his life. Why should I push my religious beliefs on him? It wasn't fair.

  So having a child made me a worse JW, but a much better, happier person.
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  43

  Is it just human nature to gossip or are JW's worse? Feelings are hurt....

  by mamalove in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it is so strange how once you distance yourself from your kingdom hall and friends, that they find it necesary to discuss and contemplate your departure and put out all kinds of statements that simply are not true.. i am licking my wounds today because some kind of nasty things were said about me to a friend of mine who is df, from her ubber righteous sister.

  it was via text, so it was there to read.

  the thing i can't figure out is i have nothing to do with this woman.

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  Nice_Dream

  Witnesses like to keep busy gossiping to divert attention off their own lives. It makes some people feel good to bring others down. Try not to let it bother you Mama Love, it just shows what you're missing out on...same old, same old. Being talked about behind your back. But now you don't have to pretend to be these people's friends.

  Some former JWs were gossiping about me, saying I was having an affair with an elder's kids even though I haven't been to meetings in amost a year and hadn't talked to these former witnesses for years. Seriously!? I had to laugh at them, who makes that garbage up?

  My husband was also recently talked about for having a beard, saying he looked like a Muslim. This spread around a few halls. Seriously, these people must have boring lives if we're the topic of conversation.

  Just know that you're not "bad news." Keep your head up and live an amazing life. They'll see that they are the ones missing out on having a real life.
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  86

  Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i thought this would be an interesting poll that would show everyone the backgrounds of all of us when we left, if we have.. for myself, i am not df'd, but i am attempting a fade.

  i still go to some meetings with the wife to help with kids, but that's it.

  no commenting or field service.. what about everyone else?.

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  Nice_Dream

  I haven't been in almost a year, and never plan on going back. We still get the occasional elder visit and congregation invite, but we don't respond.
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  38

  Has anyone knocked on your door recently?

  by dysfunction in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i am a housewife, and no one has knocked on my door to spread the "truth",not even on the weekends.

  question, has anyone experienced this... or has the preaching work slowed down?

  or are the witnesses less active, zealous?.

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  Nice_Dream

  They were coming monthly for the past while to check on us (we're fading), but since the snow, we haven't seen them for 3 months!
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  29

  Considered rebellious because I choose to think for myself

  by LovelyEunie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi all, this is my first post.

  but i was one of those kids that was born into the whole jw thing, and like a good little witness kid i did everything i was supposed to do to please my parents (mainly my mom my dad's an unbeliever).

  my mom was very strict with me when it came to everything they taught, no holiday parttys at school, no sports, no worldy friends, i was only supposed to associate with other jw kids (my mom is one of those extremist jws, she says she doesn't judge, but she's a perfect example of one one of those sisters with the holier than thou attitude).

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  Nice_Dream

  It's only natural to think for yourself, unless you're in a controlling religion. I was like you when I was a child too. One of the worst things I did was cave in and help my classmates carve a pumpkin at Halloween, and I prayed to be forgiven for over a year because I committed such a horrible mistake (I think I was in Grade 4).

  You're brave to think for yourself! Continue on your journey. I was 16 when I started having doubts, and I waited 10 years to finally admit them to myself. In the meantime I was driving myself miserable trying to be a perfect JW, while still being mistreated by my JW "friends." Being an outcast amongst the Witnesses didn't stop once I became an adult. But now I have regular "worldly" friends who are super nice and normal! Wish I had left sooner.
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  11

  In all honesty...

  by Nephilim in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in all honesty... the blokes that thought up this whole scheme in the first place truly have won.

  they got their money.

  they had their power.

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  Nice_Dream

  Sometimes I feel the same as you. I was born in to this and have a warped view of the real world. Someone posted this book: Taking Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich. Hoping this will help, and if not I was planning on seeing a therapist to help me move forward with my life. Like you, I'm not sure where to go, or what there is to live for sometimes, but I remain hopeful and try to be in the moment and enjoy the little things in life.
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  32

  My wife wants to plan an anniversary party but we have different social circles...

  by garyneal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  perhaps some of you who are unbelieving spouses married to witnesses have had to deal with this at one point of another.

  this is the first time for me and my wife and it has her concerned.

  my wife wants to plan an anniversary party for us and she wants to invite everyone that she and i know.

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  Nice_Dream

  "Does it really matter if someone with a psychological disorder thinks you don't live up to their expectations? They are the ones that need to 'get over it'. Not us."

  Totally true Black Sheep. It's hard getting over that paranoia of being "found out." My husband is petrified of being disowned by his family, definitely not a healthy way to live!