I would apologize if I offended you for my previous comments but I doubt that was the case, discussing matters really just help to clarify things.
My mother (who was not a JW) would suggest that I just return to the meetings so that my father could once again talk to me. To her it was a solution but I couldn't bring myself to living a lie regardless of the benefits. Not only would it be wrong on a religious basis because I would not be serving God in truth but I would be fooling my father. To make a pretence of my own beliefs, to me, would be a great sin. As this is a public discussion I do understand why others choose to go this route and I do not judge them for their personal decisions. After your post I appreciate more so why you chose yourself to go down the course you have taken.
Although I lost the close relationship with my father for over 30 years I always felt that it was not by my doing and he chose to shun because he honestly believed what he was doing was right and I had no control over that.
The GB do not have scriptural backing for their laws on disfellowshipping and shunning and the scriptures have been twisted for their own purposes so that they can maintain this Orwellian world. If they honestly tried to apply scriptures in regards to sinners or apostates then they would not allow a disfellowshipped person to even attend the Kingdom Hall because even though they are allowed to do so now in silence they are still part of the congregation by their simple attendance. They are still associating with the brothers and sisters and they are still part of that group worship. They participate in the religious activities by singing and praying with them and by the elders being able to deliver their sermons to these individuals. Their is more biblical basis to say that they should be expelled completely from any group gatherings (if they are not repentant and continue to sin). However, the organization will not do this because of the legal reprecussions and their status as a religion for all.
I am very happy for you that you still have a very good relationship with your mother. What makes me even more happy is that your mother is so open to discussing what is in the bible and really shows a deep desire to do what is right according to that. Unfortunately she is still wrapped in the JW religious chain.
I admire you for the stand that you have taken and taken seriously. That 'elder' mentality still shines through in that you are sincerely setting yourself as an example to others.