The conversation with the elder after the JC was the most interesting and I've tried to transcribe it (but it's not accurate) -
After discussing the idea that the judgement of people will occur at Armageddon in such difficult times, whereas it is a different situation for people who have already died, this was stated
Rachel “It doesn’t make sense that Jehovah would do it like that”
Elder “Well that’s what we hope for ..a judgement different like that”
Rachel “And I know you don’t believe that either”
Elder “Well I really look for Jehovah’s judgement, the way he’s done it in the past, hope for that, but I mean I can’t teach that simply because it is not what the Faithful Slave are saying and their, ar.. decision if you like, is perharps with the idea that we’re conscious of giving the wrong direction and if they were wrong with something like that it would have a devastating affect”
Rachel “It’s a real burden on us though, for me..”
Elder “Well no, no it’s
Rachel “It’s the carry around on you, with this belief”
Elder “Hatred for people, that sort of thing, or
Rachel “No a feeling that like I tried to tell you in my letter that it’s been very difficult for me to even enjoy life without feeling guilty about enjoying life and I’ve been a non participant in life and a non participant in my marriage because how dare I enjoy these things while all these people here need to come and be baptized as witnesses otherwise they would be chopped
Elder "But realize that the influence of the angels is there directly that they are there to help us and back us up , if we ? someone, ultimately"
Rachel “all us account on that but when I do the maths you know why in our country are so few coming in within the developing world they are flocking in, is it because we are more inherintley wicked here, is it because of our higher standard in education or it might be that people have more information that they know all this science is coming in on their minds and there is more barriers “