Nickolas

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Posts by Nickolas

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  31

  Finding peace

  by Nickolas in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a jehovah's witness.

  you won't be seeing any more of them.. my wife and i were up before dawn on friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking.

  we talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen.

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  Nickolas

  Thanks again, all.
• 
  31

  Finding peace

  by Nickolas in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a jehovah's witness.

  you won't be seeing any more of them.. my wife and i were up before dawn on friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking.

  we talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen.

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  Nickolas

  if you're not having meaningful INTERACTIONS with the JW you're trying to rescue, don't expect any results.

  I could not agree with you more, Donny. Without interaction there can be no meaningful dialogue. Without dialogue there can be no understanding and without understanding there can be no results. My greatest failing throughout the years has been my inability to dialogue with my wife about the Watchtower without getting impatient, frustrated or angry. As a consequence, whenever the elephant was addressed my wife braced herself. She raised her defenses, dug in her heels and closed her mind - which had the inevitable result of me getting impatient, frustrated or angry. It was a vicious cycle that went on for more than 30 years. If I am honest with myself, and if there is blame to be apportioned for whatever unhappiness we've had between us, the lion's share belongs to me. Had I been loving and patient from the outset it is entirely plausible that I would not be here in this forum today.
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  31

  Finding peace

  by Nickolas in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a jehovah's witness.

  you won't be seeing any more of them.. my wife and i were up before dawn on friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking.

  we talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Nickolas

  Jehovah's Witnesses are people. People come in different shapes, sizes and temperments. Jehovah's Witnesses represent a subset of the normal population, as much as they think they are special and represent themelves as special they are no different from you and me. There are Jehovah's Witnesses who are evil and there are Jehovah's Witnesses who are just the opposite. Jehovah's Witnesses are guilty of applying lables to non-Jehovah's Witnesses, and non-Jehovah's Witnesses are guilty of the same thing, only in reverse. If you want them to wake up you need to love them unconditionaly. If they don't wake up it will not be because you did not try.

  Good night.
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  56

  Urinary Tract Infection=proof of premarital sex

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the twisted jw world, that is..... http://cultprevention.blogspot.com/2011/08/ah-memories.html.

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  Nickolas

  rebel8, it seems to me you have a hate-on for the WTBTS. I understand. I would love to see it destroyed, too. Peace.
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  7

  need advice to free family

  by strymeckirules in

  1. social
  2. family

  my family and me havent talked in over a year since i found out about the cult.. yesterday my mother texted me that she misses me and she loves me.

  short message.. yesterday my sister also texted me to ask how i am.

  also short message.. now, i am an apostate and they are not allowed to talk to me.

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  Nickolas

  Love them, knowing you may never be able to free them. Recognise and acknowledge to them that your defection has caused them pain and for that you are truly saddened. Tell them that your heart aches to see them, to speak with them, laugh with them again, because you love them without qualification. But tell them too that truth is as important to you as it is to them, that you need to be true to yourself and you can no longer sustain belief in important matters that no longer ring true to you. Tell them that you recognise this may be something that cannot be reconciled between you but it should not be the end of something as beautiful as the love between mother and son, father and son, sister and brother. Tell them you realise they just might not want to talk about it at all, but tell them that you are willing to help them understand if they are willing to listen. Tell them that you are regardless prepared to live with the differences between you if only they can live with them too. That's all you can do. All the best.
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  56

  Urinary Tract Infection=proof of premarital sex

  by rebel8 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the twisted jw world, that is..... http://cultprevention.blogspot.com/2011/08/ah-memories.html.

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  Nickolas

  I don't think this has as much to do with the Watchtower as to very poor individual judgement and prejudice. As much as I loathe the WTBTS it has been my observation that oftentimes bad behaviour on the part of Jehovah's Witnesses is erroneously associated with their religious indoctrination when in reality they'd behave just as badly if they were not Jehovah's Witnesses. I have absolutely no doubt this would not have happened if the players were my Witness wife and our daughter.
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  18

  Shunned by the window washer

  by ldrnomo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  over the many years my wife and i were captives of the watchtower organization we hired witnesses from time to time to heip us maintain our home.

  one of those witnesses was a window washer who was quite good and reasonably priced so we have continued to use his services even after we faded 4 years ago.. so this year, my wife called to set up an appointment for him to come over and do our windows and he tells her he's not interested.

  now this may be because he's so busy and overworked that he just can't fit us in or it could be that after four years of not being at meetings he has chosen to shun us.

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  Nickolas

  It does sound an awful lot like you've been assigned a label and he's had a shepherding call or a chat from one of the elders about associating, even in a business context, with someone so-labeled. There are lots of other window washers out there.
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  31

  Finding peace

  by Nickolas in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a jehovah's witness.

  you won't be seeing any more of them.. my wife and i were up before dawn on friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking.

  we talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nickolas

  Thanks, all. Let me assure you that I will continue to rant, just not about this. My contempt toward the Watchtower and its Governing Body remains.
• 
  31

  Finding peace

  by Nickolas in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a jehovah's witness.

  you won't be seeing any more of them.. my wife and i were up before dawn on friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking.

  we talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nickolas

  This is for those of you who are familiar with my periodic rants about being married to a Jehovah's Witness. You won't be seeing any more of them.

  My wife and I were up before dawn on Friday and spent the entire day on our boat, trolling 10 miles from shore and talking. We talked about our lives together, the ground we've covered in the 40 years since we met as university freshmen. We talked about things we'd been avoiding talking about and we came to a better understanding of one another. The best understanding in decades. My assumptions that she was judging me against a set of standards established by her spiritual masters were completely off base, as were my assumptions that she was sharing our discussions with people in the Kingdom Hall. The opposite in fact is the case as she will brook no intrusion into our private lives by anyone, no matter who. She accepts me without qualification for the imperfect man I am and I accept her for who she is too, which is the most beautiful person I have ever known. All she wants in the world is to love and be loved by me and for the two of us to be happy together for the rest of our lives. Nothing matters more. I now believe if that means her leaving the Society she would, as much as she would grieve the loss of her social network and contact with family who are also Jehovah's Witnesses. But I am not going to ask her to do that and for that consideration she is much relieved. If she someday awakens to the truth about The Truth, fine, and maybe I will be able to gently help her somehow but it is no longer a priority in my life. There will be no more angry words from me, no more tears and anxiety for her. After more than 30 years the elephant has at last left the room and we're ok. Finally ok.

  There are individuals in here who have experienced wrecked marriages, others whose marriages are under enormous pressure, all because of their inability to find common ground around the Watchtower. For those of you who are struggling, it could be the Watchtower is more a complication contributing to the discord between you and your spouse rather than the reason for it. Or maybe you are giving the Watchtower power over your life that it does not actually have. If you love one another, really love another, you can prevail. And maybe all you really need to do is understand and accept one another for who you are.
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  97

  Another question, if I may...

  by AGuest in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and may you all have peace!

  this is another general question for the board and i ask your indulgence because i am trying to understand how others think.

  if there truly is no god/god... what is wrong with the existence of religion?

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  Nickolas

  you are more forgiving than I am, Tammy, and that makes you the better person in many respects. I concede the point to you. None of us is perfect, and the line we cross is most often drawn in the sand by those who had no right to draw the line in the first place. I have some prejudices against what others have done in their past. It is something I need to work on.

  G'night, all.