bloominglotus

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Posts by bloominglotus

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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

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  bloominglotus

  Bek you already know makeup sex is the best! Now thats a fact! Thanks for the reminder!
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  Botzwana LOL too silly. I checked out the website for RealDoll and all I have to say is REalCreepy but hey to each his own... and to be honest aint nothin better than the real deal not even a silicone penis LOL and Thats a Fact!!!
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  12

  Other women

  by JRK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i see other women i don't think of what i could be missing out on.

  it helps me see what i already have, and makes me appreciate it all the more.. jk.

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  bloominglotus

  Thats very sweet JRK...I think we all should look at our relationship with mates in the same light.

  @BTS playing the devils advocate here tsk tsk tsk
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  dysfunction I appreciate your concern but to be honest we would be calling the hotline on each other..... after it occurs we both feel horribly wrong...I must say that we BOTH have anger issues and I know at first I came off playing the victim role but to be honest we are BOTH victims
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  JRK, thanks for the book recommendation I will definitely check it out.
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  The physical abuse is not often....Im a be honest I really do provoke him and start the physical assualt sometimes which I shouldnt knowing that he suffers from PTSD. When angry sometimes I would know how to push his buttons....

  @BTS thanks for your advice....complete 360 but anywhoo...yes I understand that PTSD just doesnt stem from the military. Any traumatic event in a person's life(natural disasters,car accidents,etc) can leave one suffering w/ PTSD. U know when u said that 'I have great talents and powers and that I can use them to heal his heart if he choose' that really touched my heart and was somewhat of a life affirmation for me. I am studying to become an herbalist and is learning that herbs from the earth can help with so many conditions ranging from physical illness to mentall illness. I am trying to come up with this herbal blend that will help with depression. But the thing is he is not really interested in trying it out... Personally it has helped me....But im still very much a work in progress.....

  @snoozy thanks for the welcome and your advice....I really dont want to just throw my marriage away and really want to make it stronger. For some reason though I have my qualms about going to a professional for help about it.....
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  Hi tec, My children are 3 and 2-very young. Right now its a lot of stress in our relationship. His mom and brother in law is moving in and I am really not that thrilled about it. Really trying to have a positive attitude about it. But lets just say that both my mil and bil have some childish,selfish,vindictive ways. She lost her home and of course my bil was living at home. But the trip part about it is right now my bil at the moment is already staying w/ us because his mom kicked him out and she sort threw him on us. She was very manipulative about it too making my husband feel guilty for not taking his bro in. That right there pissed me off. And then finding out she's gonna stay w/ us was like this is too much... The times when he has been unfaithful was prior to marriage and I was really hurt by it. Sometimes I bring up the past b/c I feel like that pain left an indelible mark on my mind and heart. No matter how hard one tries to move on and truly forgive, when arguments arise, the past tends to overamplify the now. Truth is I believe that everyone is going to hurt u but u just have to find the ones worth suffering for.... Despite his struggling with PTSD I still see a beautiful person. He is a wonderful father,provides for his family...I feel in love with his mind he stimulated me intellectually and he still does sometimes...but as of lately I dont know if its the stress of up and coming move ins or what, he is really getting on my last nerve and Im starting to notice every flaw. He is very playful and I see the benefit of that whenever Im down or to liven up the mood but lately his playfulness has very irritating. Then I started asking myself 'Maybe Im too sensitive?"

  Much thanks for your words. I have esp. taken to heart " I would suggest not spending time wondering if u would have done things differently or thinking about what might have been." Those doubts are certainly eating me up with doubt and regret....
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  Hmmmm interesting perspective BurnTheShips....

  I never stated that I was perfect actually I asked him if he has been depressed lately out of genuine concern. He was in the military and he suffers from PTSD. To be honest, because of his depression he has resorted to physical and emotional abuse towards me as well. And thats something else that has changed about him.No he has not been honest and faithful. I however have been faithful to him.And by displaying these actions in my eyes he is not putting his family before his self. Yes, he provide materially.

  "Women are all whores" A whore is a woman OR man that engages in sexual acts for money or one who is promiscuous. Can not a man be a whore? Im picking up on your borderline women bashing tangent....which is a whole notha subject. But thank you for your response
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  108

  Fallen out of love with Husband?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi u guys.

  right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.

  lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  bloominglotus

  Hi u guys. Right now I am literally in tears because I am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage. Lately, I have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in MY eyes). I am noticing characteristics or traits which in my eyes are not flattering and is a major turnoff. This is not only on a aesthetic level but also how he talks to me. Sometimes he displays this pompous,competitive "I am better than u" attitude which in my eyes is not becoming of him. I am no longer attracted to my husband and Im not sure if I'm still in love w/ him. This of course has affected our sexual relationship because like I said he is starting to not care of his physical appearance and because of that I am not really in the mood for all of that.And of course that is his biggest gripe---lack of intimacy.

  In the beginning of our relationship he kept up his physical appearance very well (good hygiene, clean shaven, decent clothes). Now he is starting to look like a straight BUM. I brought it to his attention how I have seen these changes in him throughout the 6 yrs. we've been together. Its like he doesnt even attempt to look good for me anymore I guess because he have me now. So I guess there's no need to impress me. Lately I have been really trying to take care of myself emotionally and physically. But it seems as if whenever I ask my husband if he wants to join me in exercising,walking,etc he always come up with an excuse. I want us both to attain a healthy emotional and physical well being to prolong our life together and for our children. When I brought to his attention the changes that he has undergone I can tell he was a little hurt. I really was conscious of the way I approached him about it. But nevertheless, he was still hurt which is understandable being that I would of been a little hurt if he told me the same thing.

  I mean I know that I am not exempt from any changes throughout our relationship. I am actually trying to become a better person. But lately I have been asking myself a serious question: Why exactly did I marry my husband? Well, to be honest I met my husband while I was DF. I was a very young naive 19yo going thru a lot things. With being separated from my family during Hurrican Katrina and ending up in another state by myself, the trauma of being DF and dealing w/ other traumatic events really affected me. As of now I look at those events as making me a stronger person. We got pregnant still somewhat under the mind control of that org believing it to be "the truth" and the egging of return from my mother(still a JW), I slowly began to regress to becoming a JW again b/c I felt it was the right thing to do. I knew of course that in order to come back I would have to get married and "stop living in sin".I began to feel that w/ everything I was going thru,doing this would make everything better because then I would feel I would have god's approval.

  At this point I began to pressure him into marriage asap because the sooner I get married the sooner I can get reinstated.... I was very manipulative and finally we got married. Now he always expressed his desire to marry me even before the kids but he just didnt want to do when I wanted to do it. I look back and ask myself, ' If we never had kids or if I never was a JW would I have wanted to truly marry this man? I feel guilty for manipulating him for my own selfish reasons....Im starting to question whether I was TRULY IN LOVE with him or was it simply a learned behavior or emotion....
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  5

  Is this normal?

  by bloominglotus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am reading steve hassan's book combatting cult mind control and wow is all i have to say.

  i am pretty much convinced that this religion is a mind control induced cult.

  he actually outlines step by step the actual mind control methods used in destructive cults.

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• 

  bloominglotus

  AudeSapere, thanks for the advice. Yea I do feel like Im reliving the experience of being in there. Right now I am just fading....its been almost a yr