LOL at Kudra! Yeah I probably wouldnt be depressed if that was to happen probably a lil shocked. Besides the birth control I use is not going to interfere with that at all. So I am thankful for that. But thanks for the heads up....
bloominglotus
JoinedPosts by bloominglotus
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Yes meditation is definitely hard. Its like emptying your mind. I tried it and it was a complete fail couldnt even do it for a minute. I would find my mind wandering into other thoughts. Seems like its gonna take practice.... Do u meditate Satanus?
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
And I appreciate everyone being a listening ear to my rant At that point I really wanted to let out some steam and I really was trying my best to NOT direct it towards my husband. I dont have any friends dont really have a social life accept online and with family...so yeah
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
zerotoday yea it does seem like this is a stage in a marriage but I really dont want to give up in my marriage. Just based on a lot ya'lls advice, its really gonna take for ME to be the change I want to see. Change my perspective on things. Not focus on past. Resolve anger issues. To not be a provocator and exacerbating the problem. Before I can help others I really need to help myself....
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Satanus Yes I've been reading about St. John's Wort and how effective it is for depression. Do u take it capsule form,extract,tea? Also I wholeheartedly agree with u about not focusing so much on the past( which is a problem I have) or how things could have been. Im really starting to see how it makes me very much depressed and unhappy. It really does take mental discipline to focus on the now. I've been reading about meditation and its benefits for our minds. I'm pretty sure it helps in mental discipline. Neuroscientists have actually found that meditators shift their brain activity to different areas of the cortex. Brain waves in the stress prone part of the brain move to the calmer part of the cortex The mental shift decreases negative effects of stress, depression or anxiety. Their is also less activity in the part of the brain that processes fear. I thought that was pretty interesting... Thanks for your advice
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Robdar well to be honest the advice I have received here has been very helpful! Of course some advice was not needed but for the most part everyone's input has given me something to self reflect about. A person that has been "trained" does not always give good advice as well. Thats where it takes for me to weed out the advice thats not beneficial and taking in what could be of advantage(just like what I did on this forum). Its was comforting to hear experiences from people who have dealt w/ something similar as oppose to just relying on the advice of someone who may have not first hand experience. Just because a person is trained in that particular field I would still use discernment as to whether I want to accept the given advice.The whole bi-polar thing was a figure of speech and I do plan on talking to someone about my anger issues. I can think of a whole bunch of other conditions my mood swings could be tied to esp conditions relating to women....
BTW I noticed u said u were FIRST attracted to your husband because of his brilliant mind and not his looks. Unless u are blind I dont see how the FIRST thing that attracted u to ur husband was his mind...Or of course u met him over the phone? Like I said there's nothing wrong with that.... Other than that we are visual creatures...u have to first be attracted to them and then get to know their personality... At first what u notice is a person's looks,if they are attractive,hygienic, their style,etc. If an attractive person has a nasty personality well that just makes them plain ol ugly. If their personality is great that just boosts their attractiveness
We would love to say that personality comes before looks aswhat attracts us to a person but its really not true at all. But if u really think about it, when u get older and your looks are not the same as u were when u were younger personality pretty much comes before looks...
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Viola I understand that with age comes change in physical appearance some things are hormonally induced. Those type of things I understand and I understand I will not always look the same way either. But should grooming habits cease to exist as u get older as well? He does not like taking anti depressants due to the side effects such as suicide and erectile dysfunction. Thats why I really want to help him out and come up with an all natural herbal blend to help him with his depression...to help with OUR depression...
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
We can try to front all we want to but at the end of the day the FIRST thing that attracted us to that person was not their personality but LOOKS. I mean there's nothing wrong with that and its certainly not superficial.
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Robdar to be honest I really dont think Im being THAT hard on him. When he doesnt shave he looks like a bum. Now if he grew a beard and it was WELL GROOMED thats cool...but he's starting to have the whole bummy look. Like he really dont give a damn what others think,even his wife. When he does shave which is every blue moon....I tell him " Well finally I can see that handsome face of yours!" and give him a big ol kiss...then it'll be another bluemoon until he shaves again. Oh yeah he may shave if my parents come to visit but other than that,nada.
Also I dont read any of those magazines or anything related to it. I agree that it does give an unrealistic and fantasized way to look at a mate. My thing is if a mate in the beginning of the relationship did certain things to impress u why does it now seem that Im no longer desirable to do such things anymore. Well thats how I look at it least because most men try to impress women who they DESIRE to be with. BUt like I stated before there could underlying reasons as to this change. My guess is depression....
I push his buttons because I have issues myself....I have anger issues.... and for some reason the people we love we tend to try to hurt the most. We have BOTH done this to each other so I guess we both are guilty of emot'l abuse. Also if I want to get other's opinions and experiences on dealing with this issue thats of MY concern and discretion. Besides a marriage counselor is just as much of a stranger to me than the people on this forum. So at the end of the day Im a be talking to a complete stranger....
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108
Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus inhi u guys.
right now i am literally in tears because i am so confused right now as to the state of my marriage.
lately, i have been really noticing some major flaws in my husband(well at least they appear major in my eyes).
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bloominglotus
Nugget thank you for your advice. Well, his mom really dont want to stay w/ us. She's very independent and all so Im guessing that's why she doesnt want to stay. But she will be staying until she finds a place. She already found a senior living ctr she wants to stay in and everything. Me and my husband have actually sat and talked about the situation. Even he knows how she can be and he was so glad that he moved out of her house. My husband just tries to reassure me to not think too negatively about the situation because most likely that negative mindset will turn into negative behavior between the both of us. He said to just look at it in another perspective. Its funny b/c he mentioned that the fact that she's staying with us now we have an in home babysitter for times we want to go out and have dates I mean after the kids go to bed we watch movies together but thats really the only time we spend together just me and him. To be honest we havent really done anything together for almost 2 yrs now. So i guess its a blessing in disguise....to try to rekindle our marriage.
Now his bro is whole notha story...SHEESH like he is damn near 27 and his mama still baby him...he's very irresponsible and immature.... And he's very flip at the lip too! My husband said that ever since they were young his parents would baby him meanwhile him being the oldest has to do everything.. So now this same behavior has contd until his adulthood... he just found a lil job at Walmart and that wouldnt of happened if it wasnt for my hubz trying to keep him focus on his agenda...and that was finding a job. Him staying w/ us is DEFINITELY not a long term thing. For now he doesnt want to go to college he's a type of person thats into getting rich quick schemes instead of working his behind off for what he wants. My hubz tell him like it is and try to guide on the right path but he thinks he knows everything. And there comes his mom babying his lil bro telling him to not be so hard on him. But I feel like "YOU aint being hard on him enough and THATS the problem!" UUGH