I left about three years... damn.. more like 6 now.. holy cow... I simply refuse to let them shun me. I show up at my mom's, take care of a lot of upkeep on her house as well as mowing and snowblowing.. Just do not allow it. It really is that simple. What are your family members going to do?? Call the police on you? Let them call the police to kick you off of their property and see if that does not make an impression on them.
When my brother is in town I take the same approach, no one is going to tell me I cannot see my family. (including my family) and no one should tell you that you cannot see your family.
You can determine what you talk or dont talk about but do not allow them to shun you. They do not realize it but they are counting on YOU to show them what unconditional love is.
pbrow