Posts by pbrow

38

How do I handle this?

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

a little advice please.. it's now 7 months since i stopped going to meetings.

we still get regular calls by elders - at least every 2 weeks.

i can handle them.

Please reread your last couple sentences over and over again. They have almost complete control over you because you are too scared to do anything! I am not judging you, I have been in your shoes. Take the time that you need to take.

Please know this.... When you DA, you are making a clean, purposeful break. You are in no uncertain terms advising them that they have no control of you whatsoever and you do not wish to be associated with them.

You can sit in your house and be afraid. Cross the street when a jw walks by or look at the ground when you see one in the store but what kind of life is that??? I know its difficult but the feeling of taking back your power, pride and dignity is something that does not happen often in life. It is LIFE-CHANGING!!

Good luck and godspeed.

pbrow

38

How do I handle this?

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

a little advice please.. it's now 7 months since i stopped going to meetings.

we still get regular calls by elders - at least every 2 weeks.

i can handle them.

pbrow

If you intend to fade just realize that you cannot help her.

If you intend to take back your life and live how you want to live then tell it to her straight.

Maybe your brick could be the first brick she sees taken out of the cult wall.

pbrow

40

Difficulty fading out

by Emily1987 in

jw
friends

this is my first post on here so i apologize that it is like an essay!.

my husband and i are currently 'fading out' of the truth.

we stopped preaching in may 2016 and limited meeting attendance in january 2017 and stopped completely in june 2017. my main reason for this was my whole life i have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum.

pbrow

dreary... i fully agree. It is something we do not want to believe until we start to take control and responsibility for our actions.

Fading is conforming to the jdub lifestyle whether you want to admit it or not. Living on your knees is horrible. Coming to the realization that you were living on your knees voluntarily is a bitter pill to swallow.

I went through a short fade period but realized that if I wanted my children fully out of this church I could not fade. Any relationship I lost is nothing compared to the moral high ground I gained with my children when I teach them to speak their mind and to stand up for themselves. No shrinking to the next isle when I see dubs in the store, crossing the street when I see them approaching or hiding a christmas tree in my own effing house!!

pbrow

40

Difficulty fading out

by Emily1987 in

jw
friends

this is my first post on here so i apologize that it is like an essay!.

my husband and i are currently 'fading out' of the truth.

we stopped preaching in may 2016 and limited meeting attendance in january 2017 and stopped completely in june 2017. my main reason for this was my whole life i have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum.

pbrow

So you and your husband are both awake. You are looking to get your kids more involved in the real life. You have lived your entire life for other people and now you are fading.

There is no reason to fade if both of you are awake. If you are fading so that you can continue to be in family/friends good graces then you are not tired of living your life for other people because that is exactly what fading does. It forces you to continue living like they want you to live.

Your awake, your husband is awake. Here is a great lesson for your kids.... We get to control who is and who is not in our lives. People who would choose to shun us because we do not believe the exact same thing about everything are not people we choose to have in our lives.

The loss of your best best friend, your mother or other close family member is worth the cost of teaching your children that lesson alone.

Its awesome that you are choosing to explore other beliefs. When you put up a christmas tree and hide it in the back room though, you are teaching your children to be ashamed of what you believe in. Fuck that!

pbrow

18

My thoughts on Church shootings..

by DATA-DOG in

disclaimer: i do not approve or condone any acts of violence that result in the deaths of innocent persons.. alright.. let me just say that i have no idea what motivated the latest mass shooting, nor do i condone those actions.

i am, however, beginning to understand why some individuals may feel that violence is their only choice, although i do not approve of that choice.. when i read topics on this forum that concern religion and legalism, topics that drone on and on, getting nowhere, i feel extremely frustrated.

yes, religions are given certain freedoms, but many are obviously going beyond the spirit that motivated the separation of church and state.

pbrow

The bottom line is religion is freedom of thought. The most effective way to combat religious thought is to get it in the open and argue with it.

I agree that many countless minds were stomped out over the years by religion and many families have been destroyed by religion. The alternative however is giving the power of free thought over to a government.

Destroyed families and stomped out minds are worth it

pbrow

22

Living with non belivers

by Blade666 in

jw
friends

my question is can you as a jw live on same premises as a non jw.... in split house/property with no sexual relations or anything involved... i am being forced to move due to a "sister" wanting to go back to her god and has made the point of saying she cannot have a male around.

even though the property itself is split with seperate access for both parts of the house.. she has put a blanket rule out saying the whole property itself... doesnt make sense to me nor to any of the elders i have spoken to regarding the matter.. yes i called them as i know next to nothing about the faith.. .

i find it strange that two elders urge a non jw to seek justice from fair trading and rental tribunal as they themselves do not belive the actions of the "sister" in question or her family to be correct or right... .

pbrow

How are you being forced? Dont you have a lease?

Is that gal just saying... You need to move out?... thats not really forcing you to move.

pbrow

59

What can the leadership at Watchtower do to turn things around?

by UnshackleTheChains in

let's play devils advocate here.. put yourself in the governing body's shoes.

they are well aware of all the issues they are facing.

they know their numbers (they 'do the math' as they say in the us).

pbrow

wake me up... that is a sobering picture

Almost unbelievable. It is a testament to the importance of never losing your skeptical thinking abilities.

Fuck... that is a horrible picture.

pbrow

59

What can the leadership at Watchtower do to turn things around?

by UnshackleTheChains in

let's play devils advocate here.. put yourself in the governing body's shoes.

they are well aware of all the issues they are facing.

they know their numbers (they 'do the math' as they say in the us).

pbrow

+1 to stop shunning. I would add allow dissent.

Stop shunning and this church turns into every other religion. Stopping shunning would positively impact the mental health of every dub.

Still have "one true faith" Still have paradise to look forward to. Still have love that the world does not have. Still have this safe haven twice a week to help fend off worldly ideas. This is what almost every other church espouses.

Allowing dissent will certainly create an "acceptable" level of strife but in the long run people will accept that some congregants are not living up to baptism but not having to cut off family members or life long friends will turn this into just another social club like every other church.

I would argue that families that do not have to shun other family members would be more happy and therefor be more ready to give to the ever important world wide work.

pbrow

38

Is There Any Thing That Would Make A JW SERIOUSLY Question Their Religion?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i realize that jehovah’s witnesses have been dumbed down for long time now.

.

still, i think there must be something that would make them really question their beliefs, even their life.. i think that if witnesses were told they could take blood or that disfellowshipping was unloving, they might stop and take a hard look at everything they have sacrificed their lives for.. i know the organization has muddled these subjects before but the i think even die hard witnesses might start to second guess the governing body..

pbrow

I was a born in. Thinking talking snakes were real and the end of the world was literally coming any day now were normal for me. I asked questions as a child but when that gets pounded out of you at a young age you just come to terms with it and just go along.

When I had kids I resolved to not give the same old insufficient answers to my kids that I received as a child. Not until I really made an effort to "make the truth my own" did I realize that my younger self was right all along.... The reason to not play sports was bullshit. The reason i could not do boy scouts was bullshit. The reason I could not do holidays did not make sense. The further I dug, the more I realized the farce I had been raised in.

15 years later my kids have absolutely no desire to get baptized or become a dub despite being raised in the religion by their mother.

Break the bubble.... do not allow the jdub thinking to become normal for your children

pbrow

21

Is the Bible truly inspired?

by MrRoboto in

so i was reading the book of daniel, starting with chapter 4 (nebuchadnezzar's famous tree chopping/banding dream where the 7 times is introduced) but i noticed that when you don't cherry pick verses and just read straight thru - it really seems like some children's book that was poorly written.

even though the borg says that this book as written by daniel, chapter 4 is clearly written by "king nebuchad·nezzar to all the peoples, nations, and language groups dwelling in all the earth" after the tree chopping business.

) of the rest of the chapters seem to be written in 3rd person (odd, if you are writing about your experiences).

pbrow

I think if you would just take 5 minutes and check it... it says that it is.

duh

pbrow

edit... mroboto.... keep asking questions! This is awesome to read! You remind me of an extremely good looking person I know who, after leaving his church, asked many of these same questions!