Posts by TimeBandit

uh, if the super apostate magic doesn't work, i'll just let my huge great danes out onto the porch and freak the witnesses out followed by kicking them off my front porch... .

I just went and filled out the form asking to be visited. I hope they come soon so I can work my super apostate magic! Uh, if the super apostate magic doesn't work, I'll just let my huge Great Danes out onto the porch and freak the witnesses out followed by kicking them off my front porch...

The watchtower website has an online form that you can fill out and request a bible study. https://watch002.securesites.net/e/contact/submit.htm

Why not pitch in and do your part to help me fück with the WTBTS? Kudos to any of you that actually go through with it!

Chris-

69

What was the last meeting you ever went to?

by lilbluekitty in

i figured out it's been 4 months and 5 days since my last meeting ever.

july 10th, it was a sunday.

i hadn't been there in 2 months or so and decided to see if anyone noticed i'd been gone.

TimeBandit

Anither thing... I t's always my aim to look out for jws I know in the public, particularly in places like Wal-Mart etc. I make every effort to go up to them and say hi. I offer a handshake and sometimes move in for a hug. They usually recognize me in the middle of the handshake or hug and shrink back like a spider on a hot stove. Sometimes they back into people trying to get away from me. Then I follow up with "Brother/sister so and so I don't understand why you are giving me the cold shoulder! What's wrong?". Then I shoot a bewildered look at the nearest shopper and ask "Did you see that? Wow I thought Jehovah's Witnesses were supposed to be friendly and loving...".

I've done that a few times since I disassociated last summer. I find it quite an amusing pastime. It sure makes shopping funner.

69

What was the last meeting you ever went to?

by lilbluekitty in

i figured out it's been 4 months and 5 days since my last meeting ever.

july 10th, it was a sunday.

i hadn't been there in 2 months or so and decided to see if anyone noticed i'd been gone.

TimeBandit

I got your back now Auntie! I love you lots & lots!

Chris-

Burning Heart

69

What was the last meeting you ever went to?

by lilbluekitty in

i figured out it's been 4 months and 5 days since my last meeting ever.

july 10th, it was a sunday.

i hadn't been there in 2 months or so and decided to see if anyone noticed i'd been gone.

TimeBandit

Woops, double post.

69

What was the last meeting you ever went to?

by lilbluekitty in

i figured out it's been 4 months and 5 days since my last meeting ever.

july 10th, it was a sunday.

i hadn't been there in 2 months or so and decided to see if anyone noticed i'd been gone.

TimeBandit

I'm so proud to say that the last meeting I ever went to was the thursday night meeting. It was last summer, and the only reason I was there was to hear the announcement of my and my wife's disassociation. I just had to go hear these beautiful words spoken: "Chris Shepherd is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" and "Beverly Shepherd is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses".

I suffered through the entire meeting. I was in cargo shorts, a sleeveless t-shirt, and was wearing all four of my ear rings All of my glorius tattoos were plainly visible. I had a wicked cool goatee going on. People didn't recogenize me at all! I had several people I knew come to where I was sitting and offer me songbooks and bibles, and acted like I was an interested worldy person. That was a bit chilling to me. Shit, they didn't regognise me when I was attending their hall. Now, with my 'new personality' reflected in my new looks, and a glare on my face as I eyeballed the elder making the wonderful announcement, I stared him down when he made eye contact with me.

He looked away quickly. I guess they don't get many people DA'ing around here, so the elder was visibly nervous up on his platform. When I had pulled this elder into the back room a week before he seemed genuinly bewildered that we both wanted to DA. He kept asking me "why do you want to leave Jehovah?" .He kept wanting to know why and each time I said firmly "Well, our reasons for leaving are in the letter I just handed you. If you want to know why then Read. The. Letter.

The following is a copy of the DA letter I handed them...

Letter of Disassociation

This letter may only be read publicly provided that it is read in its entirety.

Attention: Body of Elders

Gentlemen,

I, Christopher Ryan Shepherd, do hereby make the following declarations:

• The Governing Body of Jehovah’s witnesses are not God’s channel of communication to men, and are in fact the head of a mind controlling CULT.

• The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society teaches doctrines contrary to Bible.

1. Disfellowshipping/Shunning

2. OK to use blood fractions but not whole blood (Acts 15:29-“…keep abstaining from…blood…”)

3. Child baptism (Jesus was 30) If you ask youths to wait until they’re past the “Bloom of youth” before marriage, why is it ok to baptize children? Children shouldn’t be pressured into such a big commitment…

4. Demonizing independent or critical thinking. (insisting a person accept what the Watchtower and Governing Body teach without question and not do any independent thinking or else be disfellowshipped for ‘apostasy’). That is MIND CONTROL

5. The list could go on and on.

• Jesus Christ did not start his heavenly rule on the erroneous date of 1914; Babylon destroyed Jerusalem in 586, not 607 (The Governing Body has to cling to the false 607 date despite the fact that all the evidence says 607 is wrong and 586 is right, in order for their beliefs concerning 1914 to work). That, gentlemen, is not the way of Truth.

• The Governing Body, Writing Committee, Teaching Committee are false prophets.

• The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society was a United Nations NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) from 1991 until 2001. It is well documented. I can provide irrefutable proof if you wish to see it. In order to be an NGO affiliated with the UN, you have to sign documents pledging that you support and approve of and will uphold the UN’s charter. The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society therefore co-mingled with Jehovah’s arch enemy. For that reason, the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society and Governing Body cannot be approved by God, or his son. 1Corinthians 10:21 states “You cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons; you cannot be partaking of “the table of Jehovah” and the table of demons.”

I therefore declare my separation and withdrawal from said Watchtower Bible & Tract Society in light of the following statement from the AWAKE! magazine: “No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family" - July 2009 Awake p29 ‘Is it Wrong to Change Your Religion?’

I’ve had to choose between by beliefs and my family and friends thanks to your cruel and unscriptural teachings. For some inconceivable and ridiculous reason, the statement quoted from the AWAKE! does not apply to Jehovah’s Witnesses unless they want to suffer the consequences; being permanently cut off from Witness family members and friends.

I find that to be hypocritical, a man-made policy, and unscriptural. Therefore I declare the authority of the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society and the Governing Body, as well as any of its representatives hereby broken and shall forever be null and void with respect to me.

The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society and Jehovah's Witnesses are also notified that no official visits, telephone calls (except to notify me of the date that the announcement will be made) , or correspondence of any kind is to be made; any attempt to do so shall be considered trespassing or harassment and will be dealt with legally.

The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society and its representatives are further forbidden to disfellowship me or slander my name or person in any way. I am disassociating myself, and expect this to be accomplished by the book. I have the right to leave the Organization on my terms. If I find out that my good name has been slandered in any way, or that I have been disfellowshipped rather than disassociated the matter will be dealt with legally.

Finally, I declare myself free to serve my Creator, if He even exists, according to the dictates of my own conscience, observing the counsel of the Holy Scriptures, or any book I see fit to read, according to the guarantees of the Constitution of The United States of America.

Effective immediately I, Christopher Ryan Shepherd, am no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Sincerely,

Christopher Ryan Shepherd.

xxx-xxx-xxxx *

............................................................... Date ……………………………………………….

* (This number is not to be shared or published. It may only be used to notify me of the date the announcement of my disassociation is to be made)

18

My First Easter in 35 years...

by TimeBandit in

jw
friends

hi folks.

this is the first time i have celebrated easter since i was a tot.

i have some vague memories of getting an easter basket way back then.

TimeBandit

Hi folks. This is the first time I have celebrated Easter since I was a tot. I have some vague memories of getting an Easter basket way back then. I loved it from what I recall.

Yesterday we went and bought the ingredients for Easter baskets for my wife's grand daughter and for my newpews and niece.

Please excuse the crappy shrink wrapping, but hey, it's my first time in 35 years...

Chris-

13

Awkward Silences

by TOTH in

jw
friends

i can rememebr many such silences growing up in the wt.

one that comes to mind was back in the mid 80's.

i was a young twenty something fellow and had gone to the dc in fresno, ca with my parents and my brother.

TimeBandit

My dad always used profanity, even when he became a witness (he used to be a sailor). He never cursed in front of other witnesses, but he did at home all the time. Especially when he was talking about brother so and so he didn't like. One time when I was about 6 years old there was this brother my dad didn't like named brother Colhorn. My dad's pet name for this brother was "brother Cornhole". LOL. Anyway, one saturday we ended up in the same car group as brother Colhorn. Well, I got mixed up when it was time for me to say a greeting to this guy. I said "Good morning brother Cornhole!"...I'm pretty sure everyone in the car group knew what the word 'cornhole' meant. My dad's face turned red and he quickly corrected me saying "It's brother Colhorn Chris"...After that there was an awkward silence. Nobody said anything else until they had to decide who was going to the next door. I think they all just chalked it up to me just mixing his name up by accident. I wonder what ever became of ole' brother Cornhole anyway?

Chris-

29

WTF Jesus doing last 98 years?

by Evolutionary in

hey, i left when i was 19 about 21 years ago over evolution.

dad encouraged me to look up the references in _life: how did it get here?

by creation or evolution?_.

TimeBandit

Jesus is busy with his facebook freinds...

Chris-