This topic is one that I can speak to because it had affected my family life for several years. Definitely- Yes! What a very interesting question for a thread topic. There is no doubt in my mind that the schedule and the mindset of usually the husband places unneccessary weight on a himself and then becomes hell for his wife and kids. An elder was in service with us last spring and we were sitting in the car, talking, and he was relating how his brother was going through a divorce where the wife 'flaked out' of the truth and left the brother and he went on to say how it seemed like the typical Witness with marital problems, these days, end with the wife leaving entirely. Then he said that he had always had the notion that the man was the one having an affair in most cases and I agreed, but I can count off the top of my head about twenty friends/acquaintances in my age group over the past fifteen years, from different congregations I've gone to, where the sister was the one who just wanted out and left the husband.
Another observation I've had, and probably isn't news to many, but many families that lived according to the watchtower very dutifully, almost like a prescription for family happiness, in almost every case ended up with the father, in his fifties or sixties, still clinging to that image he believed in for years, but with no children left going to the hall anymore. It's apparent throught the stories that people tell about how hard he was on his kids while at the meetings or whatever and that makes me feel very sad for those situations.
In my personal life, I know that in recent years, I was trying to 'reach out' and was really worried about how I could appear responsible yet sensible and relaxed, too. It was all so difficult to bear when our children came along and I just ASSUMED that they would grow to like the meetings because, hey...they were mine! Well, I have learned a hell of a lot in the last year, and thankfully we all have been able to decompress for the last couple of months. Some of the ugliest blowups were before, during, or right after meetings or service. (The honest truth) My concern over their behavior became too much to bear until finally I just had no choice but to concede the fact that we were not going to look perfect. Kids are going to be kids. This had always been my wife's belief, which was absolutely right. I had a much more difficult time with that. Well, now we both are home with the kids on the weekends and we both are so glad not to have tension due to the 'theocratic routine'. Several times each week, as a joke mostly, I would ask if I was the worst dad ever. Come to think of it, I haven't asked that in a while.
