Posts by jesscd

155

Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

by ILoveTTATT2 in

jw
friends

hi people,.

i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

jesscd

1) were you raised as a JW, or did you convert?

Raised (3rd generation)

2) when were you baptized/started seriously being with the witnesses? (Date please, i.e. 1997)

Started taking seriously being witness very young, but wasn't baptized until 1985 (a couple days after I turned 13).

3) when did you leave/woke up completely? (date please, i.e. 2013)

I was physically out - disfellowshipped in 2005, but wasn't completely mentally out until I started doing internet research when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2010.

47

YMCA ? Are we allowed to go there or not?

by Quarterback in

half of our congregation goes there to work out because of the good pool facilities and prices, and the other half think that it's wrong due to it's old charter.

but no one is enforcing the wrong or right of it.

i'd be interested in knowing how this is being applied worldwide.

jesscd

I was told by the elders in my congregation when I was in that even if you received a free membership from the YMCA you would be disfellowshipped or disassociated because it was pledging membership to a false religious charter. You could take individual classes there, but you could not join the Y as a member to use their facilities on a regular basis as it was considered apostasy. I believe this is still upheld.

71

Which bible character do you hate the most?

by Bonsai in

the more i think about it, the more i feel an extreme dislike for the apostle paul.

he was on par with hitler in his treatment of the jews before he "saw the light".

he replaced jesus teachings of love and mercy with a more legalistic, pharisaical concept of devotion to god.. any evil person can come to believe in god and worship him if the scales were literally and miraculously removed from his eyes.

jesscd

David

47

Are we participants in this forum because of bouts of "loneliness"?

by Wonderment in

i wonder how many of us here hold on to this meeting place out of "loneliness.

could it be that we harbor feelings of "abandonment" and "loneliness" from being left cold and dry by the wt people and our families?

perhaps we do have a need to reach out to people with similar experiences.

jesscd

Research is what initially brought me to this forum. Contact and interchange with others who understand - and only those who have been in can truly understand - is why I keep coming back. I am not lonely. I have a wonderful family, and I am slowly making a social life for myself, although it takes a lot of effort when you are a born-in and leave in 30's +. But my husband and small children, extended family/in-laws, and new "worldly" friends - never being JW's, just can't understand everything. They don't get my mindset on things and they don't understand what it was like growing up as a child, adolescent, and young adult in the JW world. Most of them are lax or former Catholics, but they still have their family by their side and their whole social structure from childhood on. This forum gives me an outlet to know I am not alone and to basically commiserate with those who truly "get it". I think many who visit this forum feel the same way. And if I can help someone newly out or on their way out, so much the better. I went through a lot of guilt and mental/emotional upheaval when I left; easing others transition to the real world is another reason I visit and have tried to share more of late on this forum.

19

Can a baptism be annulled?

by angel.face in

i joined this site about 4 years ago and life was very different to say the least.

i was a jw and started the process of 'waking up' after experiencing life threatening blood loss due to complications of a pregnancy.

i was married with two kids (husband was an ms) and was a stay-at-home mom.

jesscd

"Also, there is the concept of 'ratification', which in essence means that a person who, upon reaching the age of majority, abides by the terms of a 'contract' that they entered as a minor, the terms of the contract are upheld. This too has been used to weasel out of legal wrangling related to the baptism of minor children."

This is why it is a captive religion, especially to those born in. A decision made as a child - in my case a few days after I turned 13, has to be upheld, because otherwise you lose everything and everyone if you choose to leave at any time, as a minor or adult. You have the choice to "ratify" or be shunned. That isn't really a choice. And that isn't even factoring the brainwashing, cognitive dissonance, lack of chance to develop critical thinking skills, inability to form outside social networks, depression, lack of self-esteem, guilt, PTSD...etc.

Unfortunately, I believe this has been brought before the courts in the US and upheld as valid on the side of JW's.

5

Indoctrination and subordination

by Tornintwo in

jw
friends

there are so many gems in in search of christian freedom but i thought this section in 'indoctrination and subordination' was excellent, summing things up brilliantly, worth highlighting for anyone who hasn't read the book;.

"the sum of the evidence is, then, that although no extreme physical isolation occurs, a very effective mental isolation is pro- duced by the organizations interpretation placed on jesus words about not being part of the world.

the community of believers becomes quite insulated and intellectually sealed off from any source of scriptural material other than that coming from the one voice, that of the organization.

jesscd

I recently heard the term "isolationist beliefs" used in reference to JW's. The term is so poignant because it concentrates pretty much the whole JW theology into a couple of words. As a born-in who left in my early 30's I know too well how this isolation from the "world" effects one. When I was cut off from every friend and any of my family members that were JW's, it led to a time of great loneliness and a feeling of not belonging anywhere - feelings that 11 years later still linger. I had done everything I was supposed to in the JW world to an extreme. My parents homeschooled me, so I never established outside relationships as a child. Even the neighborhood kids we were never allowed to call our friends - we had to refer to them as "acquaintances". After finishing high school at age 15, I enrolled in a community college and received major backlash from the elders because I was pursuing higher education. Higher education in itself was bad, because I would be exposed to the "philosophy and empty deception of men". But also I was told that I was not thinking spiritually because I was intentionally putting myself in an unnecessary place of worldly association. I eventually yielded to pressure and quit - the guilt trip was relentless. As an adult I sought jobs in the computer industry in which I worked solo, so as to avoid unnecessary association with workmates, eventually starting my own business so I could pioneer and work out of my home - completely separate from "bad association".

At 32, when I left, I was thrust into the "world" with no social structure, a blank sheet of a background - and very little in the way of social skills. I have gradually made friends with non-JW's, but the effort of having to start from scratch, at a time when most have long-established friendships, is quite exhausting. Interestingly enough, through some of those friends I have met and become friendly with non-JW relatives I never knew I had (I live in a very small State where everyone is about 3 degrees of separation). My grandparents became witnesses before my father was born, and cut themselves off from all there worldly relatives, almost word for word the process explained in In Search of Christian Freedom.

18

Tight pants, colored socks, blue shirts, beards, wire -rimmed glasses...

by Muddy Waters in

tight pants, colored socks, blue shirts, beards, wire -rimmed glasses... .

does anybody remember any thing else that was once or still is proscribed against faithful j-dubs?

when brothers in our kh started wearing different colored shirts rather than white, it caused a great stir and ruckus.

jesscd

Just a few of things I was counseled for:

too short of skirt - knee length

too long of skirt - ankle length

wearing shorts (modest knee level) and tank top (also modest) while volunteering to mow KH lawn in 90 degree weather.

having a best friend (everyone is suppose to be your brother or sister - no favorites)

working at age 15 to support my family (after father was DF'ed and left us destitute). I was working more hours than supposedly legal in our state. I had already graduated high school because I was home-schooled. No one cared that we were on the edge of homelessness and my baby brothers needed food to eat. "trust in Jehovah - keep warm and well fed"

18

Hello!

by josephus in

jw
friends

i haven't been around in some time, i used to post under the name "josephus" many years ago back when the late great farkel.

i have returned recently and have a youtube channel called "thegreatapostate!

i am very pleased with it and hope you'll have a look.

jesscd

I love your videos. I have been slowly catching up with all of them. Thanks.

88

Why JW marriage is a huge problem for the organization.

by kneehighmiah in

jw
friends

the difficulty of finding a marriage mate is well known for sisters.

but i would say it's hard for brothers also.

i was talking to a jw last night.

jesscd

Diogenesister - you summed up very succinctly.

211

Where are you from?

by BeautifulMind in

jw
friends

i know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.

but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.

i currently live in georgia, usa.

jesscd

Rhode Island now. But grew up in Western Mass, and also spent time around the Boston area in my late teens and early 20's. Most of my early memories involve the Natick Assembly Hall, Providence Civic Center, and Springfield Civic Center - so exciting!