I can't say my life was ruined - I spent... at this point 3/4 of my life as a JW. No life no matter how difficult, no matter how different can be viewed as a total waste. Everything is experience. Would it have been easier, more fun, happier...if I had not spent the majority of my life as a JW? Maybe, but I can't go back. I can go forward and I am still breathing - so my life has not been ruined. In fact in some ways I think my life has been made richer - I have a much more different and varied life view than many of my peers. Having to start ones life over at 33, with for the most part, no friends, no family - a blank slate - kind of steels you for the further adversity and trials that you face as you have a family, reach middle age, recognize the concept of mortality. There is still anger, there is still insecurity, but a ruined life - not at all.
jesscd
JoinedPosts by jesscd
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35
Do You Feels That Your Life Was Ruined Because of Ypur JW Experience?
by minimus ini know that some are upset because of the time lost because of ever having been a witness.
have you moved on as an ex jw or are you stil devastated because of your past jw lige?.
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jesscd
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46
What Makes Someone Become a JW?
by minimus inmy excuse is that i was born in the religion.
but if someone wasn’t, why would they become one?.
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jesscd
I am/was a 3rd generation born-in on both sides. My grandparents on one side came in because they had a son that died and the concept of the resurrection pulled them in. My grandparents on the other side - well my grandmother was and still is kind of a whack job and the concept of a world that was all unicorns and rainbows where you never died and went around petting pandas and everything tasted like candy canes and maple syrup is all she has ever wanted - well that is what she believes paradise is and that it is right around the corner - been believin' that now for 70 years. My grandfather had an eighth grade education and the concept of being able to advance in the ranks - to become someone important in the congregation was what really brought him in and kept him in - ironically it is also probably what killed him early - in fighting within the elders brought on a fatal heart attack at 56.
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jesscd
We have tofurkey - no animals harmed. : )
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25
Who has a harder time leaving JW's - Born Ins or those who converted?
by HeyLittleGirl inmy freind (who is also out) and i were talking about this the other night.
i was a born-in, 3rd generation jw and she converted when she was in her late 20's.. when she left, she said that she knew the world wasn't as bad as she was told as a jw, so she knew she would be fine.
also, she still had lots of "worldly" family who welcomed her back with open arms.. it was harder for me - i had nobody in the "world", no family or freinds.
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jesscd
As a born in I have no other point of reference, but I have to say it just seems like it is harder in every way. I was a 4th generation born in - there was no other world. All my family - friends - my life up to my early 30's was JW. I was home-schooled so I didn't even have the association and counter-balance of "worldly" school. Basically my social life was a blank sheet at 33 - like I was dropped in a foreign country knowing no one and only knowing the most basic of social concepts. One of the most strange things was figuring out the proper ways to form friendships - the time and necessary space. I was taught everyone who is a JW is instantly your brother or sister - relationships are really much more complicated and not so shallow - who knew? -
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Going To The Meetings Because You Were Obligated To
by minimus indo you remember going to the meetings because you had to??
there were times when you were sick or definitely under the weather or perhaps you were exhausted physically and or mentally, and you were still required to go to the meetings!
even during inclement weather you had to go.
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jesscd
Guilt guilt guilt - meetings were the top layer of a religion built on guilt. Yes, I felt obligated - and I hated going to meetings - dressing up even in freezing weather, nights when I just wanted to stay home and relax or Sunday mornings like today when I just wanted to sip coffee and read the paper - But miss one meeting and all of a sudden people view you as weak and the elders are calling you up - never mind you really are sick, spreading disease is much less of a concern than missing a meeting.
So glad I am over that now - as I sip my coffee and my kids are in their jammies on this Sunday morning watching cartoons. I am so glad they will never know that kind of stress and guilt.
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40
What really should be the role of Women in the congregations?
by Old Navy inthe presumably "biblical" practice of limiting the way women participate in congregational matters of the wtborg cult inc. (as well as certain other sects of christendom) may be a gross mis-interpretation of what paul meant.
i'm inclined to agree completely with this account of what paul really meant.. thoughts anyone?
aren't women more deserving of greater participation and respect?.
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jesscd
I had been disfellowshipped for a few years and still wavered between it being the truth or not and whether I should go back - but when I became pregnant and started contemplating how I wanted to raise a daughter or a son with a view towards women that cemented my decision and my true recovery. You can go rounds and rounds over how the scriptures treat women but when it comes down to the wire they will always be second class citizens. That isn't how I wanted my daughter or son to be raised thinking.
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82
How Far Up The Ladder Did You Go In JW Land?
by minimus ini pretty much did it all.
vacation pioneered as a youngster and became a regular pioneer out of school.
i became a ms then an elder.....the organization pushes you to be somebody within the confines of their realm.
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jesscd
As a female I was only allowed to hold the ladder, oh and maybe clean it (don't forget the head covering). I did make it to regular pioneer, but stopped there. I was a rebel and refused to marry into the elder hierarchy. Educated myself and was employed a bit higher than a house/window cleaner or secretary - that didn't sit well with the men. Was in the more elevated status of a well known elder's child and niece. They say it isn't about status, there is no status - such BS.
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7
If your doctor is a older doctor, check USA Today article.
by James Mixon inmy doctor in his 60's so i hope he's ok.....forty-two percent of u.s physicians are older than 55, and 21% are senior citizens.
some older doctors are calling for periodic screening for dementia or loss of competence.
so are older doctors really worse than their young colleagues, on average they are, (holy sh--t).surgeons between the ages of 41-60 were more likely to keep their patient alive than were surgeons older than 60.....
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jesscd
Up until recently my mom has had only male doctors who were of an age.. Why she chose them, I have no idea. She has had several debilitating chronic ailments, including substantial hearing loss and a constant cough. Her doctors told her there was no cure, never sent her to specialists or for testing - prescribed unnecessary medications that caused horrible side effects, etc. Her doctor retired and she now has a younger woman doctor. The female doctor sends her to an ENT and audiologist. Her hearing loss is from a broken bone in the ear and in a simple one hour surgery her hearing was restored. Cough is allergies that can be controlled. 30 + years of suffering that possibly would have been unnecessary with a younger and/or female doctor. -
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If an elder decides he wants to report child molestation to police.
by poopie incan he be sued for violating clergy pertinent privilege by the person that confesses to him?.
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jesscd
As far as I know the GB has stated many times that elders are not clergy, one of the separating points from other religions is the absence of a clergy class, so clergy privilege would be invalid.
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184
Outcome - Banned in Russia - Final
by OrphanCrow ini just watched the live feed from the russian court room and followed the updates on the russian exjw forum.. just waiting for confirmation from other sources...but, it looks like the final (and expected) result is:.
banned.
which means that the wts property in russia now belongs to the russian state..
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jesscd
No matter what I feel about my childhood, no matter what I feel about the JW religion. We all have the right to choose at some point. Yes it isn't pretty. If you are a born in like I was you stand losing everyone and everything you have ever known.
However, as others have pointed out, the banning of a religion...the suppression of beliefs and the freedom to worship is just not right. What if only the Catholic religion, Russian Orthodox, born again Christians, or Atheists were deemed the only way to believe - the only thought process one could legally have?Does the JW cause damage? - no doubt! Does it damage families and indoctrinate the vulnerable? Again, no doubt. But most belief systems in some aspect have these characteristics. If you ask any devout believer of any religion they will say theirs is the only true religion. This also is their right.
As many here I have suffered irreparable damage from my 32 years as a JW - being homeschooled from a very early age and as such a lack of education, socialization, and just normal childhood experiences. Being fraught with guilt and shame over illnesses and insecurities. Sacrificing my early adult years to pioneering instead of advancing a career or pursuing education. Losing every friend and family member I had ever known when I chose to leave at 32 and basically being like a foreigner planted in a foreign land with nothing. And that is just the damage fit to post in a public forum.But despite all, I cannot justify the banning of a religion or belief system. It does nothing but fortify those still in and it creates a scary precedent.