Posts by jesscd

81

Roll Call for the benefit of Newbies and Lurkers. In One Sentence tell why you left the Org.

by Wasanelder Once in

roll call for the benefit of newbies and lurkers.

in one sentence tell why you left the org.

not 2 sentences.

jesscd

When I was pregnant with my first child I started really thinking and realized I could not raise a child as a JW and have a clean conscience.

8

Old Bethelities

by new boy in

jw
friends

my book is going to my editor this week.

just a few lose ends to deal with.. does anyone here knows what has happen to any of the following ex-bethelities and hopefully ex-jehovah's witnesses.

mark bivins.

jesscd

Ken Dowling ended up in western ma. 3 daughters would be in their 30's now.

40

if you had 2 minutes with an old witness friend or with a family member to convince them the 'truth' is a lie and the gb isnt being directed by god what would you say to get their attention that might make them question their beliefs?.

jesscd

I would ask my family members what my grandparents (the ones who came in first) on both sides would think of the religion if they were resurrected and walked into a hall or convention or read one of the publications? Would they recognize it as the same religion? Would they be horrified? Seeing as my grandparents motivation for becoming JW's were they were sickened by the constant money grabbing in their Catholic church and the fact that the priests told them they were too uneducated to ask questions or research anything they didn't understand - I think I know the answer.

35

Do You Feels That Your Life Was Ruined Because of Ypur JW Experience?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i know that some are upset because of the time lost because of ever having been a witness.

have you moved on as an ex jw or are you stil devastated because of your past jw lige?.

jesscd

I can't say my life was ruined - I spent... at this point 3/4 of my life as a JW. No life no matter how difficult, no matter how different can be viewed as a total waste. Everything is experience. Would it have been easier, more fun, happier...if I had not spent the majority of my life as a JW? Maybe, but I can't go back. I can go forward and I am still breathing - so my life has not been ruined. In fact in some ways I think my life has been made richer - I have a much more different and varied life view than many of my peers. Having to start ones life over at 33, with for the most part, no friends, no family - a blank slate - kind of steels you for the further adversity and trials that you face as you have a family, reach middle age, recognize the concept of mortality. There is still anger, there is still insecurity, but a ruined life - not at all.

46

What Makes Someone Become a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

my excuse is that i was born in the religion.

but if someone wasn’t, why would they become one?.

jesscd

I am/was a 3rd generation born-in on both sides. My grandparents on one side came in because they had a son that died and the concept of the resurrection pulled them in. My grandparents on the other side - well my grandmother was and still is kind of a whack job and the concept of a world that was all unicorns and rainbows where you never died and went around petting pandas and everything tasted like candy canes and maple syrup is all she has ever wanted - well that is what she believes paradise is and that it is right around the corner - been believin' that now for 70 years. My grandfather had an eighth grade education and the concept of being able to advance in the ranks - to become someone important in the congregation was what really brought him in and kept him in - ironically it is also probably what killed him early - in fighting within the elders brought on a fatal heart attack at 56.

12

Is it just me

by Jayk in

or is thanksgiving a massive animal sacrifice ritual?.

jesscd

We have tofurkey - no animals harmed. : )

25

Who has a harder time leaving JW's - Born Ins or those who converted?

by HeyLittleGirl in

my freind (who is also out) and i were talking about this the other night.

i was a born-in, 3rd generation jw and she converted when she was in her late 20's.. when she left, she said that she knew the world wasn't as bad as she was told as a jw, so she knew she would be fine.

also, she still had lots of "worldly" family who welcomed her back with open arms.. it was harder for me - i had nobody in the "world", no family or freinds.

jesscd

As a born in I have no other point of reference, but I have to say it just seems like it is harder in every way. I was a 4th generation born in - there was no other world. All my family - friends - my life up to my early 30's was JW. I was home-schooled so I didn't even have the association and counter-balance of "worldly" school. Basically my social life was a blank sheet at 33 - like I was dropped in a foreign country knowing no one and only knowing the most basic of social concepts. One of the most strange things was figuring out the proper ways to form friendships - the time and necessary space. I was taught everyone who is a JW is instantly your brother or sister - relationships are really much more complicated and not so shallow - who knew?

10

Going To The Meetings Because You Were Obligated To

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you remember going to the meetings because you had to??

there were times when you were sick or definitely under the weather or perhaps you were exhausted physically and or mentally, and you were still required to go to the meetings!

even during inclement weather you had to go.

jesscd

Guilt guilt guilt - meetings were the top layer of a religion built on guilt. Yes, I felt obligated - and I hated going to meetings - dressing up even in freezing weather, nights when I just wanted to stay home and relax or Sunday mornings like today when I just wanted to sip coffee and read the paper - But miss one meeting and all of a sudden people view you as weak and the elders are calling you up - never mind you really are sick, spreading disease is much less of a concern than missing a meeting.

So glad I am over that now - as I sip my coffee and my kids are in their jammies on this Sunday morning watching cartoons. I am so glad they will never know that kind of stress and guilt.

40

What really should be the role of Women in the congregations?

by Old Navy in

the presumably "biblical" practice of limiting the way women participate in congregational matters of the wtborg cult inc. (as well as certain other sects of christendom) may be a gross mis-interpretation of what paul meant.

i'm inclined to agree completely with this account of what paul really meant.. thoughts anyone?

aren't women more deserving of greater participation and respect?.

jesscd

I had been disfellowshipped for a few years and still wavered between it being the truth or not and whether I should go back - but when I became pregnant and started contemplating how I wanted to raise a daughter or a son with a view towards women that cemented my decision and my true recovery. You can go rounds and rounds over how the scriptures treat women but when it comes down to the wire they will always be second class citizens. That isn't how I wanted my daughter or son to be raised thinking.

82

How Far Up The Ladder Did You Go In JW Land?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i pretty much did it all.

vacation pioneered as a youngster and became a regular pioneer out of school.

i became a ms then an elder.....the organization pushes you to be somebody within the confines of their realm.

jesscd

As a female I was only allowed to hold the ladder, oh and maybe clean it (don't forget the head covering). I did make it to regular pioneer, but stopped there. I was a rebel and refused to marry into the elder hierarchy. Educated myself and was employed a bit higher than a house/window cleaner or secretary - that didn't sit well with the men. Was in the more elevated status of a well known elder's child and niece. They say it isn't about status, there is no status - such BS.