This is a very sad thread to read for me personally, and I know it has been for others. Perhaps there is a cartharsis that comes from sharing these stories and experiences. I hope that is so for all who have suffered losses this way and also for those who have been driven to the brink of suicide.
My story about this happened this way. My very best friend, whom I loved more than anybody I ever have, killed himself 25 years ago. He left behind a wife and two young sons. Tom suffered from bipolar disorder, so his life as a Witness wasn't the happiest. Few people understood him or knew how to deal with him. Our friendship was very close and I got to know him better than anyone, including his poor wife. He had once been a ministerial servant, but that didn't work out well and he was subsequently deleted. He finally ended his life by blowing his head off with a 44 Magnum. Tom was only 32 years old.
I've never fully recovered. A year or so after Tom's death, I decided to end my own life. Fortunately, I was talked out of it by my boss, a woman who said what I needed to hear most. "Please don't kill yourself. I love you. Don't hurt me this way." Those words made me think of Tom's funeral and the intense pain I witnessed on the faces of others that day. I realized how selfish it would be on my part to put my friends and family through that.
I am no longer suicidal and have discovered the truth of Solomon's words at Ecclesiastes 9:4, "For as respects whoever is joined to all the living there exists confidence, because a live dog is better off than a dead lion." I am glad to be alive and have much to live for, especially now that I have put the WTS out of my life. Nevertheless, I miss my best friend and I always will. At least he is no longer suffering and is at rest, and for that I am grateful.
Quendi