Reg, it sounds like you may have some serious problems that you would use some help with. I was an Elder for many years. Let me assure you that the Elders have NO training in how to help people who are facing serious issues!!! Life is complicated. Many of us have had marital problems, emotional problems, and problems in life from making some bad decisions. If you are facing anything like that -- Go see a professional counselor/therapist who has gone to school (University -- NOT "Elders' School") and is licensed to help with those things.
Good luck to you!
Doc