No more shunning, birthdays are a borderline just call them happy days ~ Jehovaxx
They just had a WT article about using a birthday event to "witness" about why they do not celebrate them. Still, I think a lot of R&F do exactly what you suggest -- kinda "don't ask, don't tell".
But on shunning I see no softening EXCEPT in their public statements. The policy of shunning is causing them a lot of grief in many countries, so they are trying to "have it both ways". In public they proclaim that they do NOT shun, but in reality we all know "the truth" of the matter. Many in a very personal way. WT is going to try to spin it as a "personal decision" of each member. They no longer want to be seen as instigating or promoting or even requiring any family member to be shunned. It's Bad Publicity for them, and more and more often causing legal issues.