Sabin

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Posts by Sabin

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  20

  Movies/Books for Cult Survivors

  by Brighid in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  for me, there have always been special movies or scenes in movies that trigger my old jw experience (fiddler on the roof and little mermaid touched me deeply when i watched them as a young jw).

  later as a survivor, it was more donnie darko, thx 1138 themes that struck me in particular.. anyway, looking for suggestions on great movies, books (art of any kind, really) that especially speak to or move you as a jw survivor?

  there are reasons beyond purely entertainment that i ask..

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  Sabin

  Avatar, The scene when their in the helichoppter blowing everything up & she says "I didn't sign up for this shit"!
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  26

  My sons first talk

  by lukejmedic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  quick backstory:raised a jw, ms, reg pioneer, international need greater work.

  i have been da for 2 years, divorced, ex and my son live 6 hours away near walkill ny.. my sons first talk is coming up, in august.

  he is 7 years old.

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  Sabin

  Lukejmedic, good for you. You put the feelings of your son first while staying true to yourself. If people don't like it tell them to sod off. I bet your being there was the best thing in the world to your son. If he grows up & wants to be a JW, that is what makes him happy then so be it. As parents we just need to love. To except our children & support them in what they want to do. Enjoy the moment.
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  29

  Do video games cause bad behaviour in children?

  by The Rebel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my boy is 10 and has got very interested in pocamon cards.

  ( a game way to complicated for me to understand) but i've also noticed it's linked to a computer game, which seems harmless enough but i also noticed advertisements for more violent games appear.. i would value people's opinion on whether, you think video games cause bad behaviour in kids.

  i should mention my kid says i limit his time on these games, much more than other children's parents, and i was thinking of reevaluating that rule.. thanks.. the rebel..

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  Sabin

  Why don't you talk to him about it. KIds are amazing, they are so more aware than we ever give them credit for. Tell him what worries you, ask him about the game what he likes about it, what other games the kids in school are playing, are there games that some of his friends play that he doesn't like & why. Knowledge is power. Go to a game store alone & ask about the different games, if you can play some of the more popular ones. Watch the expression on his face when he`s talking about them & you say "oh yeah I know all about that one".
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  42

  Western Decline is a Reality - 2015 Memorial Attendance

  by berrygerry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  as has been observed in western congos, the decline is real.. usa is 12.475 % less -2015 vs 2014.

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  Sabin

  I didn't attend the memorial this year & I have to admit I was afraid. I curled up in bed & read the gospel account & prayed to thank Jehovah for Jesus. But I was still worried that something bad was going to happen & it would be all my fault. Of cause I realize that was not rational thinking, & why would God punish me, but that is how I felt.
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  14

  The typical JW zombie mindset

  by SecretSlaveClass in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i posted this on a pro-jw site:.

  this is the official policy sanctioned by the governing body.

  it's not about indivuals being molesters/deviants.

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  Sabin

  I printed off the W.T article sited in those guide lines, W97 1/1 pp.26-29. Let us abhor what is wicked. Under the subheading What of a child Molester?. Depending on the law of the land where he lives, the child molester may well have to serve a prison term or face other sanctions from the State. The congregation will NOT protect him from this .Well that is a F-ing lie for a start isn't it. A dedicated adult christian who falls into the sin of child sexual abuse reveals an unnatural fleshly weakness. Experience has shown that such an adult may well molest other children. So they have all this experience that they have taken absolutely no bloody notice of. For the protection of our children, a man KNOWN to have been a child molester does not qualify for a responsible position in the congregation. KNOWN & that is where the bastards get away with it. As a parent reading this you would believe it means your kids are protected, when in truth their not. So in effect they have knowingly & deliberately put children in harms way. I bet there are elders who knew kids that were being abused & figured Oh well as long as it isn't my kids. Have any of them apologized to any of the victims, NO.
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  51

  Leaving the org and marriage possibly ending

  by atacrossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was raised a witness, baptized at 16, vacation pioneered, got married, etc.

  i was very much your typical witness and believed it was the truth until last summer.

  a very close relative of mine left the witnesses.

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  Sabin

  Hello Atacrossroads, it`s so good to have you on board. It sounds to me that you have a good marriage that has just hit a rough patch. That fact that you could be so honest with your husband is a good sign so many high & mighty JW marriages don't have that going on. Start as you mean to go on. Love him & ask only that he loves you back. Yes I believe it can work if you both want it to. The elders are wrong if they encourage him to leave. Keep your pecker up.
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  13

  shunning verses victamization

  by Sabin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know i`ve put this out there before but i want to put it in a different context & see what you think.

  i`ve shunned my parents for 20 years (farther, step-mother) because they victimized me every day of my life as a child, believe me when i tell you that writing this , is unbelievable hard, it is making me shake & cry to be pulling up the memories.

  all of what happened i could have forgiven, but one thing.

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  Sabin

  Hey Muksutov, please no apology, & yes that is exactly what I`m suggesting in the same way that we are starting to use undue influence instead of brain washing. The actual words are peer victimization. It underlines so much more than just ignoring someone which is just childish. Some DF people actually lose their jobs or their children are treated badly at school by other witness kids cause one of their parents is DF. And shunning in itself is not the cause of so much pain for individuals it goes much deeper than that, it involves many not a few.
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  3

  W.R.T. the RC

  by bobld in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jw are between a rock and a hard place wrt to the arc.they sure let fellow jw know if there is a news item about the rcc and sex abuse.however, they are stone-deaf about the arc.we don't hear a peep from them i wonder why.

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  Sabin

  I was talking to one of my kids (pioneer) said " we have been TOLD what to say" its something along the lines of, "while we havent been watching the Royal commission hearing as JWs we are pleased that the matters are being looked into".
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  31

  Jw kids setting off fire alarms in hotels

  by purrpurr in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  a friend of mine is staying at a hotel next to one of the big convention sites this weekend.

  yesterday she tells me one of the hotels had to be evacuated and the fire brigade called when the fire alarm went off.. it turned out to be a bunch of jw kids having a prank.

  she had been speaking to the hotel manager who told her that this happens every year and only when the jw's come to stay!.

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  Sabin

  Esse quam Videri, that pic sent a chill down my spin.
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  13

  shunning verses victamization

  by Sabin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know i`ve put this out there before but i want to put it in a different context & see what you think.

  i`ve shunned my parents for 20 years (farther, step-mother) because they victimized me every day of my life as a child, believe me when i tell you that writing this , is unbelievable hard, it is making me shake & cry to be pulling up the memories.

  all of what happened i could have forgiven, but one thing.

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  Sabin

  Maksutov, do you even know what the word shunning means? Full definition- to avoid deliberately & especially Habitually. May imply repugnance or abhorrence. Thesaurus-to keep away from (as a responsibility) through cleverness or trickery. I revealed this bit of my history to help you see outside the box. As i`ve explained before to shun is to imply the object or person being shunned is bad. That is not the case is it though, I ve know of parents who have had nervous break downs & have suffered unbelievable stress, sleepless nights crying because of their loss. Is it not so, that although they are shunning along with the rest they are also victims. They dont abhor they children, they love them. My dad was a coward, my step-mum a narcissist, But not JWs. I was the JWs. I abhor them both. I shun them cause they made me a victim. It`s hard for me to put in to words on a bloody computer. Look whatever happened when i was a child isnt the problem, when it came back i choose not to take anti depressants not because i dont agree with them but because i didnt want the emotions numbed. I wanted to understand every feeling, then i would understand others when they went through the same, i may in a small way be of help. This in no way made me a victim.It made me a survivor. The problem was when JWs saw me struggling they took advantage. For example, there may be a two-way relationship between victimization & certain internalizing symptoms such as depression or withdrawal, such that victimization increases these symptoms, & the individuals exhibiting these symptoms may be targeted for further victimization by others. Do you see, they pushed me over the edge with their constant pressure. The constant victimization from the WTBTS to do all the things they say, when i truely was unable, the thought of disobeying JAH by not attending the convention, or the horrible comments that i would have endured for not going was the straw that broke the camels back. So yes when they semi-shunned me it hurt, but when i discovered the difference between shunning & what was really happening to me (victimization) i stopped blaming myself & took back my power. Because i`m not bad or weak, i`m good & strong. And now i can go forward. I want this for others who may be suffering with depression, anxiety, PTSD because it may help them to rebuild their lives, Understanding that many who they love like family who dont associate with them any longer are victims of the WTBTS aswell. It might just make it alittle more bearable, it may safe a life. I hope this makes things a bit clearer. I would like very much your thoughts.