i will work hard at my job tho and save to move into my own place. I do love it here in San Diego!
deservingone26
JoinedPosts by deservingone26
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
thanks you guys! Thanks for sharing your experiences and encouraging advice. I know counseling will be the best thing for me i dont know if i could ever accept being gay tho i just feel like there should be some way i can get over those feelings and live a "normal" life. one with a wife and kids or at least my own kids. no adopted. In an ideal world i would be attracted to women and be able to have a normal relationship but atthe same time maybe i could be happy with a guy but all it ever seems to be is hooking up which after its all done i just feel empty. i just want more with my life. i want happinsss. i guess this is just how life is...maybe everyone has these same feelings but im not sure because this is all ive known always just searching...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
im drug free and have been for over 2 years no weed or anything. ive been offered drugs but i always turn them down but still drinking tho...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
thank you i will look into these. I need to find a councelor or therapist but is that a lot of money?
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
my dad got remarried to another jw but for some reason they were both df'd he is saying because she was not elgible to be remarried but not sure of the actual story... ithey are both working on getting reinstated. my step mom is crazy so after 3 weeks i moved out. I moved into housing program (homeless shelter) been living here for a month. my life is a mess because i dont knowwhat im doing anymore. i dont know where my lifeis going it just seems to be geting worse and worse. i dont know if i want to be religious i just cant seem to vonnect anymore if you know what i mean and i dont know if i want to be gay because everytime i hook up i just feel really guilty. i just dont feel good and im just seem to be constantly searching for something to make me feel good. but nothing seems to work...im back to work but getting minimum wage. its the only job i could get. i just dont know anymore any suggestions would be great...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
im doing this from cell phone so its not letting me continue on with post for some reason at certain point the story is almost done...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
so if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life. To do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, Got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol. At 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order. I found the mormon church. I soon found out that my mom was dying about 3 months in and her request was for me to return to the kingdom hall. I started goingback but it was just not in my heart and about 7 months after she was diagnosed she passed away. I never got reinstated.
I went back to the mormon church and became and on and off member for about a year and a half. I can say im proud that i quit doing drugs (2+ years clean! I soon started to become bored. I think i just like drama and change because im constantly moving and trying to do new things. In september i fell back into an old habit. The reason i was disfellowshiped. I hooked up with another guy. I freaked out because at the time i was really active in the mormon church. I did the only thing im always good at and i ran!I bought a one way ticket to san diego! I partied hard for 3 days straight spending about 700. i was broke and fortunately moved in with my dad. My dad let me move in with him but he still had a full fledged jehovah witness mindset. and he was remarried. i
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55
Im a mormon
by deservingone26 inim a mormon now and have been one for the last 3 months.
at first i really liked it but now i am starting to have 2nd thoughts, i grew up as a jehovahs witness and was disfellowshiped at 19 i really started to look for a new church in july of this year.
i started out in a christian church which i really liked but i didnt understand the jesus as god thing/trinity.
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deservingone26
nope i will never take medications like those EVER! so good night yall
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55
Im a mormon
by deservingone26 inim a mormon now and have been one for the last 3 months.
at first i really liked it but now i am starting to have 2nd thoughts, i grew up as a jehovahs witness and was disfellowshiped at 19 i really started to look for a new church in july of this year.
i started out in a christian church which i really liked but i didnt understand the jesus as god thing/trinity.
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deservingone26
thanks for pointing that all out to me Newchapter you are very helpful! and its been 3 months of me being a mormon that i decided that im not sure if i wanted to be a mormon. and yes i have considered therapy but i just dont see how that will help it will just be me throwing more of my money away and them putting me on pills doctors already say im bi polar and wanted to prescribe me to pills so how is therapy honestly going to help. I dont know i just wanted to see if anyone else could relate to my story and had some good advice not someone getting on here and saying im crazy but thanks and i will try to look into some of your other suggestions.
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55
Im a mormon
by deservingone26 inim a mormon now and have been one for the last 3 months.
at first i really liked it but now i am starting to have 2nd thoughts, i grew up as a jehovahs witness and was disfellowshiped at 19 i really started to look for a new church in july of this year.
i started out in a christian church which i really liked but i didnt understand the jesus as god thing/trinity.
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deservingone26
Im a mormon now and have been one for the last 3 months. at first i really liked it but now I am starting to have 2nd thoughts, I grew up as a jehovahs witness and was disfellowshiped at 19 i really started to look for a new church in july of this year. I started out in a christian church which i really liked but i didnt understand the jesus as god thing/trinity. While going to church i started to talk with the missionaries, they showed me the book of mormon and i did their steps of pray before you read it and then ask god if it was true, i really started to get this great feeling and it was a feeling that i would get while going to church but i felt it really strong when i started investigate the church and when reading the BOM so after 4 weeks of meeting with the missionaries just about everyday i got baptized. after i got baptized i really felt the feeling more then ever and for about a month i was confident about my decision but after about a month i started having doubts and really started learning things that i didnt really know before joining. I didnt truly believe in the whole until 1978 blacks couldnt have the priesthood thing but i learned that was true and that joseph smith had lots of wives, i still dont know if that is true. To be honest i really thought the religion was great and was planning on going on a mission in a year from now but while trying to tell others about my religion i find it very hard to testify that joseph smith is a prophet and that he spoke to god and jesus and that has made me take a step back and for the last 2 weeks i have skipped church I dont know what to do anymore. I can say that the last 3 months have been great and i have stopped drinking alcohol and stoped drugs and lost about 35lbs but again i am at this point of not knowing what to do. I dont really want to be a mormon anymore cuse i dont really believe that what they believe is true its sounds really nice though and it answers a lot of questions that people might have as to what are purpose is in life but is it true? and what is this feeling that i am getting? can anyone relate to my story?