Thank you guys for your posts.This is the only counseling that i have received on my issues and whenever I get to the point of where I really need some advice i can always count on you guys to put in your thoughts and encouragement. I really think its time for me to really sit down and write out clear goals for myself as mentioned earlier. I dont want to focus on being gay or straight right now. I really do think its just part of my addiction problems of wanting that "quick fix" I've never persued a relationship with a guy and honestly dont think i would want one. It just seems boring. After i hook up i want nothing to do with the other person usually. I feel like i have two personalities or somethink like dr jekyl and mr hyde or something lol because i say that now but in a week its like i have these urges to go out and hook up and sometimes i act on them and sometimes i dont. Right now im thinking i dont want it all and is that me just not accepting it or what? im not sure. In an ideal world like i said i would be straight and have a relationship with a women who was comfortable with my past because I am not going to try to hide that fact that I do have same sex attractions from her either. I dont know if it will ever happen but that is what I want. But I dont think im in a position to be looking for a relationship i really need to figure out me. I do want to go back to school. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do and I do have dreams. Which my first dream was to move to San Diego its something Ive wanted since I was 18. I love it here. I should have came out here with more money but I am in a place where I can get some help.
deservingone26
JoinedPosts by deservingone26
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
Thanks! and yes i am 26! I really want to go back to school. I know its not gonna be all figured out in one night but thank you all for your posts. They have eased ny mind and i feel much better.
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my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
i will work hard at my job tho and save to move into my own place. I do love it here in San Diego!
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
thanks you guys! Thanks for sharing your experiences and encouraging advice. I know counseling will be the best thing for me i dont know if i could ever accept being gay tho i just feel like there should be some way i can get over those feelings and live a "normal" life. one with a wife and kids or at least my own kids. no adopted. In an ideal world i would be attracted to women and be able to have a normal relationship but atthe same time maybe i could be happy with a guy but all it ever seems to be is hooking up which after its all done i just feel empty. i just want more with my life. i want happinsss. i guess this is just how life is...maybe everyone has these same feelings but im not sure because this is all ive known always just searching...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
im drug free and have been for over 2 years no weed or anything. ive been offered drugs but i always turn them down but still drinking tho...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
thank you i will look into these. I need to find a councelor or therapist but is that a lot of money?
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
my dad got remarried to another jw but for some reason they were both df'd he is saying because she was not elgible to be remarried but not sure of the actual story... ithey are both working on getting reinstated. my step mom is crazy so after 3 weeks i moved out. I moved into housing program (homeless shelter) been living here for a month. my life is a mess because i dont knowwhat im doing anymore. i dont know where my lifeis going it just seems to be geting worse and worse. i dont know if i want to be religious i just cant seem to vonnect anymore if you know what i mean and i dont know if i want to be gay because everytime i hook up i just feel really guilty. i just dont feel good and im just seem to be constantly searching for something to make me feel good. but nothing seems to work...im back to work but getting minimum wage. its the only job i could get. i just dont know anymore any suggestions would be great...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
im doing this from cell phone so its not letting me continue on with post for some reason at certain point the story is almost done...
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29
my life is a mess need some advice
by deservingone26 inso if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life.
to do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol.
at 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order.
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deservingone26
so if you read thru my previous posts from years ago u can see a little background of my life. To do a quick summary i was df'd at 19, Got into the party lifestyle which included party drugs and lots of alcohol. At 24 i decided to step bacdk and really try to get my life in order. I found the mormon church. I soon found out that my mom was dying about 3 months in and her request was for me to return to the kingdom hall. I started goingback but it was just not in my heart and about 7 months after she was diagnosed she passed away. I never got reinstated.
I went back to the mormon church and became and on and off member for about a year and a half. I can say im proud that i quit doing drugs (2+ years clean! I soon started to become bored. I think i just like drama and change because im constantly moving and trying to do new things. In september i fell back into an old habit. The reason i was disfellowshiped. I hooked up with another guy. I freaked out because at the time i was really active in the mormon church. I did the only thing im always good at and i ran!I bought a one way ticket to san diego! I partied hard for 3 days straight spending about 700. i was broke and fortunately moved in with my dad. My dad let me move in with him but he still had a full fledged jehovah witness mindset. and he was remarried. i
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Im a mormon
by deservingone26 inim a mormon now and have been one for the last 3 months.
at first i really liked it but now i am starting to have 2nd thoughts, i grew up as a jehovahs witness and was disfellowshiped at 19 i really started to look for a new church in july of this year.
i started out in a christian church which i really liked but i didnt understand the jesus as god thing/trinity.
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deservingone26
nope i will never take medications like those EVER! so good night yall