{{{not interested}}}}
I'm having a beer right now - a Leinenkugel Original lager actually. Returnable bottles! Aluminum prices! Here's to you, and your weird friends, if they aren't buried under all this snow
i was going to add some thoughts to another thread, but it is now locked.
it took a long time to gather my nerve up to post a new topic, and i'll probably regret it, but i couldn't feel any crappier than i do today, (well, yes i could) so, whatever.. .
perhaps the following - taken from a book i've read a million times - will be of help to someone... yeah, it's another stupid trauma analysis ... however, if you've ever been a jehovah's witness, you have been traumatized, and no doubt must contend dearly with at least some afteraffects.
{{{not interested}}}}
I'm having a beer right now - a Leinenkugel Original lager actually. Returnable bottles! Aluminum prices! Here's to you, and your weird friends, if they aren't buried under all this snow
i was going to add some thoughts to another thread, but it is now locked.
it took a long time to gather my nerve up to post a new topic, and i'll probably regret it, but i couldn't feel any crappier than i do today, (well, yes i could) so, whatever.. .
perhaps the following - taken from a book i've read a million times - will be of help to someone... yeah, it's another stupid trauma analysis ... however, if you've ever been a jehovah's witness, you have been traumatized, and no doubt must contend dearly with at least some afteraffects.
Lyin,
Thank you for responding. Each time I meet someone (virtually or otherwise) who understands what I'm talking about, even when it feels like I'm just stammering and sounding like some freak walking black hole of emotional need, it mends things up, little by little. Surviving the suicide of a mother is almost an incomprehensible loss... and it sounds as tho you've experienced the loss of BOTH of your parents. My heart goes out to you.
My boss has this dog that suffered brain damage from the anesthesia he received while he was being "altered".... he's a complete pain in the butt.... and a lot of work to be around. She LOVES him, however, and protects and cares for him. People who are hurting need a lot of help. It's way beyond difficult - at least for me - to ask for help... but without it, I'll surely die. It's a very difficult road to walk, this "needing" thing... but for every 900 jerk-wads, there is one diamond-friend who proves it is worth it to risk asking....
Risking sucks
Ashi - such a long way you have come... thank you for writing
Dan, you always make me smile.... and those people at work? They are actors. The first year is hideous. Your ability to feel your pain is a good thing... when it all goes numb, that's when you should get scared. I'll read anything you write, and I'll care how you feel, for whatever that is worth... you big sweetie.
5.0 on the end of nation-states bertrand russell, writing in the {bulletin of atomic scientists} (the famous oct. 1946 article) .
"there is only one way in which great wars can be permanently prevented, and that is the establishment of an international government, and i mean one that really governs, not the fraud of the league of nations or the united nations, but one with power to govern.
there is one other method by which in theory the peace of the world could be secured, and that is the supremacy of one nation or one closely allied group of nations.
SS: Unfortunately for me, Bertrand Russell's brilliant critique of mainstream christianity made the red book look interesting. I succumbed, for at least eleven years, but got my butt out before my thinking abilities were completely eradicated...!!!
As to your observations regarding who's controlling whom.... I'm completely in agreement.... *sigh*
I also happen to believe that Bertrand Russell is still alive and trying to pass himself off as some dude with dreds living in Texas.
Cheers, laura
i was going to add some thoughts to another thread, but it is now locked.
it took a long time to gather my nerve up to post a new topic, and i'll probably regret it, but i couldn't feel any crappier than i do today, (well, yes i could) so, whatever.. .
perhaps the following - taken from a book i've read a million times - will be of help to someone... yeah, it's another stupid trauma analysis ... however, if you've ever been a jehovah's witness, you have been traumatized, and no doubt must contend dearly with at least some afteraffects.
Lost Diamond,
It's nice to "meet you".... thank you sincerely for your kindness.
Francois,
That so much stress and trauma could be sponsored by a single organization that claims to have the "truth" about the loving Father of us all is beyond comprehension. And it is evil beyond belief.
I could not agree with you more. I've been studying 'trauma' issues for decades, and have met many people who have been in dreadfully dire straits as they try to make sense of and/or repair their lives. Religious cults are well represented among perpetrators of trauma, but no single religious entity has achieved more success in routinely and systematically dehumanizing their adherents than the WTBTS... - doing so with the protection of just about every legislative authority there is out there...
Think about a judicial committee meeting: Methods of establishing control over another person are based upon the systematic, repetitive infliction of psychological trauma. They are the organized techniques of disempowerment and disconnection. Methods of psychological control are designed to instill terror and helplessness and to destroy the victim's sense of self in relation to others....The threat of death (d/fing) or serious harm (losing one's entire family) is often enough to keep the victim in a state of constant fear... Fear is also increased by inconsistent and predictible {conflicts} and by capricious enforcements of petty rules......... ------>The goal of the perpetrator is to instill in his victim not only fear of death, but also gratitude for being allowed to live..........
How many times have terrified people, whose hopes for eternal life as well as immediate future is at stake, waited "outside"... waiting to find out if their loved ones will be able to even TALK to them again after that night.... or if they will be "dead" spiritually, if the glorious ones see fit to cut them off? Not a few people have found themselves in this position - even though they have made every effort conceiveable to live within the confines of the organization's capricious ever-mutating requirements? It is beyond sickening.... it is pure evil.
We all puke when we read of stories describing crack mothers selling their newborns for a $10 hit of whatever, but... how many mothers in the jw community are so thoroughly cowed that they fail to intervene when they see their own children being violated and mistreated... some not only suppress their own inner doubts and objections, but cajole and badger their children into compliance or punish them for protesting.....
I've pretty much decided at this point to be and 'open' agnostic, but the more time that passes after getting out of the borg mindset, the more convinced I am that satan is alive and well... and living in Brooklyn
You must persist in living. Living well is the best revenge. Each day we will know more about what that means.... (I don't, yet, but I will someday, dammit) Thank you for reading this post, and for your very much needed and appreciated kindness. (As for "posts of this type".....I guess you won't read my fluff stuff, then, only the way-too-unwieldy for words whatever wordy ones....? lolol)
Orbiting the Sunola...... Since the day I met you, you have been a source of hope, joy and you incite me to moments of great awe. YOU, my sister, are the one who rocks. And what's with this 'boundaries' shit? As if! LOLOLOLOL my only boundaries with you are you can't wear my husband's socks.
5.0 on the end of nation-states bertrand russell, writing in the {bulletin of atomic scientists} (the famous oct. 1946 article) .
"there is only one way in which great wars can be permanently prevented, and that is the establishment of an international government, and i mean one that really governs, not the fraud of the league of nations or the united nations, but one with power to govern.
there is one other method by which in theory the peace of the world could be secured, and that is the supremacy of one nation or one closely allied group of nations.
Hi SS,
Thanks for bringing such an interesting subject up!
One of the first things I did when I started studying that stupid red borg book in 1989 was to read Bertrand Russell's book "Why I am Not A Christian." I loved it.
Bertrand Russell was a master logistician, and was a very astute observer of humanoid behavior. He did, I believe, do some personal research and exploration of some of the schools of mysticism that were of the somewhat "credible" type (in scholarly circles at least) in his youth. His willingness to challenge dogma and expose absurd traditional beliefs was as needed then as it is now, and while I don't agree with his arguments regarding "controlling the masses," at least he could see that there was a lot of power-abusing, dehumanizing and formidable forces at play in the world.
I'm moving soon and my books are packed away in boxes.... I'm tempted to dig some of my BR books out. (I'd better go get a beer instead )
lauralisa
i was going to add some thoughts to another thread, but it is now locked.
it took a long time to gather my nerve up to post a new topic, and i'll probably regret it, but i couldn't feel any crappier than i do today, (well, yes i could) so, whatever.. .
perhaps the following - taken from a book i've read a million times - will be of help to someone... yeah, it's another stupid trauma analysis ... however, if you've ever been a jehovah's witness, you have been traumatized, and no doubt must contend dearly with at least some afteraffects.
I was going to add some thoughts to another thread, but it is now locked. It took a long time to gather my nerve up to post a new topic, and I'll probably regret it, but I couldn't feel any crappier than I do today, (well, yes I could) so, whatever.
Perhaps the following - taken from a book I've read a million times - will be of help to someone... yeah, it's another stupid trauma analysis ... however, if you've ever been a Jehovah's witness, you have been traumatized, and no doubt must contend dearly with at least some afteraffects. In the spirit of compassion and empathy only I am posting this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Trauma and Recovery, Judith Lewis Herman, MD, Assoc. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard medical School
Traumatic events call into question basic human relationships. They breach the attachments of family, friendship, love, and community. They shatter the construction of the self that is formed and sustained in relation to others. They undermine the belief systems that give meaning to human experience. They violate the victim's faith in a natural or divine order and cast the victim into a state of existential crisis.
Traumatic events have primary effects not only on the psychological structures of the self but also on the systems of attachment and meaning that link individual and community. Traumatic events can destroy the victim's fundamental assumptions about the safety of the world, the positive value of the self, and the meaningful order of creation.
..... Traumatized people feel abandoned, utterly alone, cast out of the human and divine systems of care and protection that sustain life. Thereafter, a sense of alienation, of disconnection, pervades every relationship, from the most intimate familial bonds to the most abstract affiliations of community and religion.
The belief in a meaningful world is formed in relation to others and begins in earliest life. More abstract questions..... the order of the world, the individual's place in the community, the human place in the natural order are normal preoccupations of adolescence and adult development. Resolution of these questions of meaning requires the engagement of the individual with the wider community. Traumatic events, once again, shatter the sense of connection between individual and community, creating a crisis of faith in (INSERT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING YOU VALUED AND LOST HERE). The damage to the survivor's faith and sense of community is particularly severe when the traumatic events themselves involve the betrayal of important relationships.
A war veteran's experience: Rescued at sea after his ship was sunk, the veteran became most upset when revealing how he felt let down by his OWN SIDE.... they had been in the water for 12 hours when a torpedo boat destroyer picked them up. Of course, the officers in the lifeboats were taken up first. The 8 or 9 other men, clinging to a raft, had to wait in the water for 6 hours later until help came. Some of these men drowned as they awaited rescue. The rescuers' disregard for the men's lives was more traumatic for him than were the enemy attack, the physical pain of submersion in freezing water, the terror of death, and the loss of the other men who shared his ordeal. The indifference of the rescuers destroyed his faith in his community.
In the aftermath of the event, the survivor exhibited not only classic PTSD symptoms but also evidence of pathological grief, disrupted relationships, and chronic depression. He had, in fact, a profound reaction to violence of any kind and could not see others being hurt, threatened, or injured.... However, he claimed that he felt like striking people suddenly and had become very disruptive to his own family. He remarked: "I wish I were dead; I make everybody around me suffer..."
The contradictory nature of this man's relationships is common to traumatized people. Because of their difficulty in modulating intense anger, survivors oscillate between uncontrolled expressions of rage and intolerance of aggression in any form..... His own inconsistency was one of the sources of his own torment.
Similar oscillations occur in the regulation of intimacy. Trauma impels people both to withdraw from close relationships, and to seek them desperately. The traumatized person therefore alternates between isolation, and internal self-loathing for needing others. Their capacity for intimacy is compromised by intense and contradictory feelings of need and fear.
More than a few topics posted in this forum have to do with the question of "why do I/we/they" come here? Sometimes people - especially those who've been betrayed by their most important family members, their life-long friends, even their god - find themselves so alone in the world that the 'safest' place they can find is this message board, graciously provided by a couple who should be given a mother Theresa award someday. Our pain, and our struggle to heal from it, drives us, sometimes drives us crazy.... I find it amazing how soothing a kind word can be here, how vulnerable some people will allow themselves be here, how much courage it takes to risk asking for help here, and how much this "community" can do and has done to repair damaged lives... of course, one must "duck" and try not to get splattered on occasion, but sometimes it's worth it.
Right now my cell phone is in the fish tank, and my lost inner-drama queen is talking to a million drunken strangers, but I can remember my piano, and hold close to my heart some of the most caring gestures I've ever experienced in my life, received from people who don't know me from nothing..........................
okay, strange request.
what i'm looking for is 'traditional' oriental or classic music pieces remixed/modernized.
for example, several songs on linkin park's "reanimation" cd - the opening, krwlng, to a lesser extent [riff raff] and my{dsmbr kinda what i'm looking for.. (sorry for the limited example set, but it's only like the second time i've heard music like this, and i can't recall where i heard things like this first).. thoughts?
Hi Xander,
Have you tried "Limewire"? It rocks.... literally zillions of tunes available (or not; depends on if the person who will share their stuff is online or has enough available bandwith, etc.)
Good luck, lauralisa
check out the photos on this page.
they are from the soho satellite, during the last 2 days.. but i'd like to find out if anyone knows what they're showing.
look at the top of the images, and you'll see what i'm talking about.. as far as i can tell, it's a comet.
Hi SYN,
That just happens to be the spaceship of some blondes, on their way to the sun. (They're going at night, duh, when it's not so hot, you see.)
{{{{{Orbiting }}}}}}}}}
Welcome home, sweetie... that was quick! You look gorgeous. I've missed you...
love, laura
...has been missin' the skallywagger or wondering where she has gone off to.
i have been severly 'sick' virtually.
this all happened exactly at the same time silentlambs (lambsroar) was 'messed with'.
Hey sKally,
Good to "see" you... and sorry about your computer issues. Arrgh.
My keyboard just quit on me one day a couple of weeks ago. I was looking at having to spend like $50 + to replace it, which is a lot of $$$ for me right now! So, I took the thing upstairs, pried off ALL OF THE KEYS with a paperclip, blew on it a few times, wiped it off with a damp towel, blew it dry with my hair drier, gave it a facial, went back to find my cat had knocked all of my carefully-laid out in their original positions "key" covers, spent like two hours trying to figure out where all of them were supposed to go, put them back on the keyboard, and voila! It worked again. Yay!!!
Hard drive stuff...... yikes. I hope you get some good answers and feel secure. Is is me, or does it seem like internet security is becoming more and more of a pain in the butt?
Hope you are well, and hugs, laura