Just remember that if you EVER become a witness, you will be teaching others these same things. You would have to explain without hesitation why you cannot celebrate Birthdays. Any deviation from ANY teaching is equal to "apostacy", and you will be subsequently disfellowshipped. Just keep that in mind before making any rash decisions.
Honestly I joined here coz I want to convince myself to believe Jehovah's words, for I thought that this site was made by faithful JW's XD
^Nope no faithful witnesses here. We have all been there or are even STILL there. Please do not FORCE yourself to believe it anything. Note these statement's by Raymod Franz(former GB member):
Initially I was attracted by the appeal to reasoning made by
many Watch Tower publications. Since these publications were
often designed to encourage people of other religions to reexamine
and reevaluate, even to question, the validity of their religion’s
teachings, it was imperative that these publications stress the need
to think for oneself, to do independent thinking. People in the beginning
are regularly encouraged not to believe teachings without
first testing them thoroughly according to Scripture. But the testing
is restricted almost entirely to the individual’s previously held
beliefs, and only certain of these are targeted for testing. Such
teachings as the inherent immortality of the human soul, the belief
in a hell of literal fire and physical torment or similar points
are the focus of much of the “testing.” The argumentation is generally
quite well developed on these points. Because of this the
person is often sufficiently impressed that, as other presentations
of teachings follow, he or she inclines to accept these more or less
on trust, without requiring the same evidence.
Remarkably, most Witnesses are so impressed by these initially
targeted teachings about the soul’s mortality, hell’s being synonymous
with the grave or the death state, and similar points that they
think and speak of them as “the basic doctrines” of the Scriptures,
teachings forming the principal criteria for identifying the one, true
religion.
-----So if you wish to accept a few teachings here and there, that's ok. But don't accept everything at face vaule simply because you have noticed a few things that seem right :)