TO Heaven i well i have my plan set out to and i have a back up plan...i'm getting my licensee when i finish high school i will move out and save for one year to afford University.. the Uni school i want to take is 4 years long after that i'm moving back home to sweet Europe i had enough of it here it's nice but i would like start fresh ....i'm going to give my dreams a shot and if it does not work well...it would be on of the things i regret i will try again....my life is mentally hard my dreams at night r nice to fall asleep to... i have other goals and one is to Run for President for my county BiH...i hate service i really feel bad for the people i talk to i feel like yelling i hate this crapy....but i do it for love my parents and for peace in my house.... Life just sucks some have it hard others easy....my life is hard....the other day i service i was like snowboard is my way to cool off. the brother was like why do u need to cool off? i felt like yelling u know why....one my life sucks my parents don't support my dreams..i miss my homeland i hate every second of this crap . i miss my family and my loving grandparents...i did not board for days i'm sick really bad but i'm going out tomorrow...my parents r crazy...i had agreements where i was ready to leave for the embassy and renounce my citizenship o canada because of them... i don't know how to tell them that i hate my this religion...i felt like this a few years ago i called my uncle in germany who every year offers to pay for my ticket to visit him(but i can't visit because he's not a "JW")..i told him i miss them and i really feel sad and depressed at my life...he offered my help to move back...i was stupid ...there was a article in the WT that parents have the right to check their children's email i got a email from my uncle but i deleted the sent email..that was smart..it was a long agreement ....i regret my actions that i did not do something then....i have no friends now....i really sometimes feel like dying...but i fight it i bottle my feelings.....words can't descibe my pain i still have effect from the war that occurred back home and this makes it harder....i cry on my pillow at night i wish for a better future....i can't wait for change...
@GLTirebiter true.... a mental war....well i will catch my tomorrow i will just take a highlighter and guess the comments on my watchtower write scribble for comments and just do homework instead of that crap....recently ever one is taking about failed dreams and how everyone left sports for jehovah and how some pro learned the truth and left the NHL...i think these people r smoking pot here....what do they spray in their bible in Bethel....i have a right to question teachings from the governing body...i told my parents this how because according to the one of the DVD in medieval times people quested the teach i question the governing body like the church the governing body hates when people questions them i also mentioned this i see here a doulbe standard question your church but don't question us?? last week i felt like saying during the meeting that the GB is more like a board of CEO's in their picture all together.....
@exwhyzee life is hard....i wish i had more friends to support me i sick and tried of doing it all on my own but it's going to be like this....
well it's late i'm going to bed...anyone want to talk to me pls message me or right here....i really need a listening hear..
----going to cry now about how i miss my family...my grandparents r the only ones that support me....but their a ocean away....