I got a come back to Jehovah email from my dad. The first I have received since I told my mom I was an apostate. In it he mentioned the assembly that was being held in July. All I could think is thank god I am not going. It would be hell for me. I don't know how I ever went. Sitting there all day listening to a bunch of BS. I missed last years but I did not really enjoy the freedom of it because my marriage was in the toilet. This summer is totally different. My husband is out and we will be celebrating our first Independence Day together both being free from the JW's.
atacrossroads
JoinedPosts by atacrossroads
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Such a relief not attending the assembly
by atacrossroads ini got a come back to jehovah email from my dad.
the first i have received since i told my mom i was an apostate.
in it he mentioned the assembly that was being held in july.
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Hubby got asked the loyalty questions
by atacrossroads inafter hubby skipped out on the memorial his parents and close friends started getting more assertive with him.
before they took on the role of the concerned let me rescue you from your apostate wife's clutches.
it's 100% my fault he stopped being a witness according to the inlaws.
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atacrossroads
After hubby skipped out on the memorial his parents and close friends started getting more assertive with him. Before they took on the role of the concerned let me rescue you from your apostate wife's clutches. It's 100% my fault he stopped being a witness according to the inlaws. So his dad called him and asked him the loyalty questions. If that was not bad enough hubby said he could tell someone else was on the line. He told his dad he should be ashamed of himself for asking such a question and hung up on him.
Why can't they just leave us be. It's not like we are shouting from the roof tops they are a cult.
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I lied to the elders
by atacrossroads ini stopped attending meetings all together in january 2015. before that my attendance was irregular at best.
my husband followed suit a few months ago after months of research, agony, and indecision on his part.
from the very beginning i laid low and did not share with anyone what i found out about the witnesses because i did not want to be df'd.
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atacrossroads
Nothing has happened to me. The elders no longer try and contact me. My parents have disowned me. They did not even invite me to the memorial not that I care. I'm pregnant and I am really started to show now. Because our parents have been acting like fanatics we have chosen not to share the news with them. So I imagine when they find out they might talk to me again.
So my husband was getting a lot of pressure from his family to attend the memorial. I think he was almost talked himself into going. I did not try and talk him out of it. He was really stressing out over it and I shit you not he was drinking. He hardly ever drinks. He got himself nice and buzzed and then he called his parents and said they could pick him up for the memorial. Then he had a WTF moment and said I have to get myself drunk to attend the kingdom hall and then changed his mind and called his dad and said he could not go. Now he feels really bad that he got his parents hopes up and then disappointed them so badly. They blame me for him now going. The elders still call and text him. I'm no longer worth saving but they feel he is.
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I lied to the elders
by atacrossroads ini stopped attending meetings all together in january 2015. before that my attendance was irregular at best.
my husband followed suit a few months ago after months of research, agony, and indecision on his part.
from the very beginning i laid low and did not share with anyone what i found out about the witnesses because i did not want to be df'd.
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atacrossroads
I stopped attending meetings all together in January 2015. Before that my attendance was irregular at best. My husband followed suit a few months ago after months of research, agony, and indecision on his part. From the very beginning I laid low and did not share with anyone what I found out about the witnesses because I did not want to be DF'd. I did the whole I am on a break and then told my family I had no plans to return. I eventually discussed my beliefs with my husband and he did not turn me into the elders. My parents I took the tactic of not discussing JW related stuff at all. It did not work so well and it got the point we barely speak.
I think I have forever altered our relationship and I am not so sure there is any going back now. I was out shopping and ran into my mom. She approached me and told me how much everyone misses me. I told her I still live in the same house I have not moved. I said I don't like to be harassed about going back to meetings but I would love to still have a relationship with my friends and family. Using the word harassed really got her upset. She blasted me good and told me what a selfish person I was and that because of decisions I made now my own husband is not attending meetings and now has a worse attitude than I do. She said she did not raise me to be stupid and I was mentally diseased like my cousin. I have experienced this coldness from my mom a couple of times before and it always caused me to retreat but not this time.
I told her to pull her head out of the clouds and I flat out told her she was in a cult. I said her religion could not stop predicting the end of the world and they protected child abusers. I went off about their history right there in the middle of the store and made a few comments about her beloved FDS. I ended the conversation with yes mom I AM AN APOSTATE! I walked away and I knew I was officially going to be df'd. I finally admitted it to her.
The very next day I had 2 elders at my door. I was done and planned to admit to everything I told my mom the previous day and would gladly take my dfing. I no longer cared. When I saw them standing outside my door all this anger came to me. What right do they have to come to my door. Why can't my mom even show a shred of loyalty to me? I know the answer to that but that is what is going through my mind. I was just pissed. So these "well meaning" elders asked me to confirm what I had said to my mom and asked me point blank if I was an apostate. No hello or kiss my ass. All they wanted was a confirmation and by the look in their eyes they were eager for it. I was just looking at them and I thought of this board and my cousin about being told elders have NO authority over you. I told them I had no idea what they were talking about and I asked them to leave. So they were like you never told your mom you are an apostate. The look of shock on their face was priceless. I denied denied denied. They attempted to grill me but I was not having it. I told them to leave and not to come back. You know what one of those assholes told me. He said that he would be talking to my husband about the events that had transpired in the last 24 hours. I was like you go ahead and talk to him.
So basically I called my mom a liar to the elders by denying the conversation ever took place. I was on a high for a couple of days but what comes up must come down. I feel so bad now. I got an email from my dad telling me his heart was completely broken. I have not heard a word from my mom. She has not sent me 1 ranting email or text.
I don't think the elders are quite done with me but with no one to back up what I told my mom I don't see what they can do. My husband will not return the elders calls. lol I mean really what do they expect him to do. According to my mom his attitude is worse than mine. He told me to let it ride and we had better things to concentrate on and leave the JW bs being us. To me its not that easy. I don't want to drag things out or play some kind of catch me if you can game. I don't know. I had a golden opportunity to be dfd but did not take it. I hope they do not come back.
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I gave the elders some ammo to use
by atacrossroads ini was having dinner at olive garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy.
a holier than thou pioneer couple saw us.
if that was not enough i saw her take a picture of me with my cousin.
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atacrossroads
Thank you for the well wishes. I did not think I would ever reach this point. I was so worried that my husband would go back to KH but he no longer believes what they preach. He admitted to having doubts for a few years but would go into denial. I don't know why he was so insistent I stay in the religion if he had doubts and I don't think he knows himself. At least our child can have a normal life. -
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I gave the elders some ammo to use
by atacrossroads ini was having dinner at olive garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy.
a holier than thou pioneer couple saw us.
if that was not enough i saw her take a picture of me with my cousin.
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atacrossroads
Hi lostwun,
There have been 3 big developments. My husband is done with the witnesses. He says he is not going back. He told his parents. Major drama ensued from elders and friends which we did our best to ignore. We were to busy celebrating the fact I am pregnant!! It was a huge surprise but we are thrilled. After I graduate from college we are planning to move. We don't want to raise the baby around our JW family. We want to have peace. My husband has gotten back in touch with his DF'd older brother and they are planning to see each other very soon. A lot has happened but that is the very short version!
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I gave the elders some ammo to use
by atacrossroads ini was having dinner at olive garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy.
a holier than thou pioneer couple saw us.
if that was not enough i saw her take a picture of me with my cousin.
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atacrossroads
Thanks for the responses everyone. I still have not heard from the elders officially. My dad is an elder but my husband said unless they notify me by mail not to worry about it. It was mentioned in my thread a local needs talk will probably be given. I will follow the advice of private family business and I agree my only real sin was eating at Olive Garden. LOL I will continue to go in public with my cousin and discuss necessary family business. My husband replied to his father and told him what I did was not his concern and not to tattle to him. To come to me directly. I was so happy when I heard that. He is getting further and further from the JW's with every passing week. He truly enjoys missing meetings and not going in fs. -
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I gave the elders some ammo to use
by atacrossroads ini was having dinner at olive garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy.
a holier than thou pioneer couple saw us.
if that was not enough i saw her take a picture of me with my cousin.
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atacrossroads
I was having dinner at Olive Garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy. A holier than thou pioneer couple saw us. If that was not enough I saw her take a picture of me with my cousin. They are so pathetic. I have been trying to fade but it has not been easy because my family will not let me be. They ran straight to the elders. I have not been summoned by mail to an official JC but if I am I will NOT attend. They can kiss my ass. My dad sent me an email that the elders would like to speak to me. I did not reply. My husband received an email from his father about me associating with my df'd apostate cousin. Hubby does not think the elders will come after me but I am not so sure.
I used to be scared shitless about the prospect of being df'd but now I don't even care. Our families have turned into borderline stalkers. Whenever they look at me they have such disappointment in their eyes. My in-laws think I am some kind of she devil who has turned their son against the witnesses. The love that use to be in their eyes is no longer there. I find it so sad. All because I left their religion.
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Hubby has been doing research on the internet!!!!
by atacrossroads inmy husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents.
i am apparently a danger to his spirituality.
after i stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a ms to spend more time with me.
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atacrossroads
Thank you all so much for your support! So hubby skipped the meeting yesterday and he left his cell phone at home. We went hiking in the morning and took some really nice pictures. When we got back there was a note on the door from his parents to let him know they stopped by and to please call them. He had 11 missed calls from his dad and only 1 text that said "where are you"?
We then went to the lunch and saw the movie The Last Witch Hunter. Never ever would he have seen a movie like this before. He is really stepping out of his comfort zone. As a side note the movie was really not that good. If you want to see it wait for it to come out at the red box.
He said that he needs to tell his parents he will no longer be attending meetings but wants to delay it for the time being. I can tell he has a lot of anxiety over having that conversation. He asked for space while he does his research on the JW's but I asked him what triggered him to start looking on the internet. He said he has put his head in the sand for years and he can't do it anymore. He did not get really specific. I let it go but told him when he was ready to talk to let me know.
His close friend an uber elder in another congregation invited him to go out in field service this week. Hubby responded he had to work. Then he asked him how about the weekend. He said he would be out of town which is sort of true. lol Why does it always have to be JW related? Can't you just go have a drink without having to go in fs first??
The elders have left me alone for the most part but I don't think it will be like that for him. I don't think they will leave him in peace. I was left alone because he told them to leave me alone but that was when he was still attending meetings. Next few weeks should prove to be interesting.
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Hubby has been doing research on the internet!!!!
by atacrossroads inmy husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents.
i am apparently a danger to his spirituality.
after i stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a ms to spend more time with me.
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atacrossroads
My husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents. I am apparently a danger to his spirituality. After I stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a MS to spend more time with me. He thought at the time he was a neglectful husband and was going to devote himself to getting me back to the JW's. He soon learned he was wasting his time and for a long time our marriage was in real trouble and I was even considering divorce.
The in-laws are claiming since he resigned as a MS he has not been the same. He hardly goes in FS anymore and his meeting attendance has dropped. He was attending like 90% of the meetings. I don't know what they are complaining about. They claim he was no longer socializing with them and distancing himself from them. His father also accused him of knowing a lot more about my leaving the witnesses than he was letting on. He attempted to grill him and asked him to move back in with them temporarily. Yes you read that right. They told him to leave me but only "temporarily". I am a spiritual danger and satan has gotten a hold of me. I think a lot more was said but I think to spare my feelings that is all he told me.
He came home and said my parents and his parents are crazy and we needed to take an extended break from them. Fine by me. I was already on a break from my parents. He is really stumbled by what they said to him. He said he was tired of the do more mentality of the witnesses. I was shocked when that came out of his mouth. He said nothing he did was ever enough and his father considers him a complete failure. He said that since he resigned as a MS it has allowed him to pursue other interests and he has enjoyed the freedom. I asked him if he has been on the internet doing research. He then admitted to me that he had!!! He said that he is no longer sure the witnesses have the truth. He said he is very conflicted about what he is reading. This just happened yesterday so this is all very new. He said he will no longer be attending meetings and says he hates going in FS. I can't believe it!! I am still in shock. I never saw this coming. He asked me to give him space to do his own research and come to his own conclusions.
I don't know what is going to happen but I never dreamed this would happen especially since such a short time ago I thought our marriage was ending. I asked him if he was worried about being pursued aggressively by the elders and his parents and he said he knows it will be rough for a while but I taught him how to play the avoid the parents/elders game. lol I am worried I will wake up and this will only be a dream. I think I would absolutely be crushed if he decided the witnesses have the truth but he is very smart. After I did my research there was no going back for me. I hope hope hope it will be the same for him.