Dear out4good,
About the college thing, it might work. If nothing else she will be educated and be able to get a better job that she might be happier with.
I am 53 years old and have faded out of the Organization like you and many others, mine was an imprisonment of some 40+ years. After much research on the net for the past several years I found out all the truths about the Truths. One thing I always wanted to do was to go to college. But in the late 60's that was completely taboo. So, like the good little JW, I dismissed it and waited for the end to come.And waited, and waited, and waited.
After fading away for several years I started to think again about college. Last January I started college. I learned much more than what the class offered. The way that college is taught now reinforces independent thinking and critical thinking. Some schools actually have classes called Critical Thinking. But the process is entwined into each class taught, to some degree. In English II and in speech classes it is part of the class structure. In Intro to Psych and in Intro to Sociology, I also learned to think more critically. Sociology actually goes into religion and how it affects society for a whole two weeks in the class I attended. What surprises waited for the students in that class. It is not only the JWs who need an awakening to how religion controls people’s lives. All religions control people’s lives to a degree and can cause great damage to the individuals involved. Some of the students in my class where very surprised to see how religion has affected the world.
But your wife will gain more than critical thinking. She will gain confidence in herself and her decisions and much more. I am a full-time student and I love going. It is hard at times, but so far I have pulled off an GPA of 3.860 and am again on the Dean's list this past semester. I would never have imagined something like this several years ago and still am in awe of myself. I am proud that I went back and did this, but not so much for myself, but so that I can set an example for my grown daughters and every other adult who might hesitate to go back to school at a latter date in life and every other JW out there who has left or is still in and has thought about college. It was one of the best decisions in my life.
So, personally, I think if you would encourage your wife to go back and at least try it, a lot of JWs do, so the stigma is not so bad now, it might help her eventually let go of the JW ignorance, and codependency to the Society that is encouraged by the Organization. If she is already decreasing her meeting attendance as you indicated, then she is already letting go, and she does have her own doubts. But she is more than likely feeling the guilt for doing so that is so carefully indoctrinated into each JW so that they won’t ever leave the WTBTS. My own brother, who has not stepped a foot into the KH in some 30 years, still carries a small amount of guilt around with him for leaving the Organization and still has a inner independence on praying to Jehovah, and wishing that he could go back sometimes. How sad that this happens.
I wish you well in your pursuit of getting your wife out from under the Organizations control. Once you think it is safe, and you might do this now for yourself, have her search the net and find the groups that help ones escape the Organization and present the truth about the "Truth" in complete detail. this site is grat, but there is so much more out there to discover.
This Organization leaves of historic trail of deceiving it's members and of changing new light that leaves most who leave astounded when they discover it. It also helps ones stay out when the guilt and indoctrination rears it's ugly head and lures them back at times. It was a great help to me because I was in some 40 years and when I thought of going back to the old "friends" and indoctrinated routine, I remembered each time what I learned, and it kept me from going back.
You don't say whether or not her family is still in and if they are strong, and if she has siblings and other relatives that are JWs. If so, the pull will be there to stay. I didn't have to fight that much because I left after my mom died and no one else was in but myself, except some in-laws and the so-called friends, whose friendships quickly faded as I did. But it was still hard for me just the same.
I wish you and your wife and children (My children escaped with me as I left, they had no desire to stay, they were smarter than me :) ) all the happinesses life has to offer. Remember, it takes a long time for some people to completely exit. Show her much love, patience and support, which I am sure you are already prepared to do.
Best wishes,
As Always,
Lindy (Antique)
