Hi Theseus,
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I would not recommend that you leave your fiancé, but it is very important that you put some time & energy into researching the Watchtower. I’m in a very similar situation as you. I ignored her prior “religion” for a long time, and wish that I had taken her past and the organization she was raised in more seriously early in our relationship.
As others have mentioned, JW’s are not a religion – as leavingwt has outlined, the organization is much, much scarier than your run-of-the-mill higher-control denomination. It will be vital to your relationship that today, as well as in the future, you do not underestimate the power of the indoctrination and conditioning that she went through during her upbringing. Unless your personal religious experience was like Waco or Jim Jones, you probably can’t relate – I certainly could not.
There are hundreds of personal accounts on this board alone of individuals who have left the Watchtower, failed to do a critical examination of mind control tactics, the blatant discrepancies in Watchtower doctrine, and the history of the organization, only to return to the cult after 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years. The most common thread for those who return after long absences is women having children. Your fiancée may believe that she is doomed at Armageddon any day now, and she may be able to accept that today. But when/ if you have children, there is a high probability that she will be compelled to return so her (your) children can have everlasting life. Search “unbelieving mate”, “UM” and other such terms on this forum for some first hand accounts of what being married to a JW is like, or to what extent the organization will go to in an effort to win child-custody battles for the believer against the unbelieving mate.
I would highly recommend speaking to some ex-witnesses, cult experts, or those who have done the research. I would be glad to speak with you, provide my reading list and web resources, but most importantly, I urge you not to underestimate the power of the emotional fear and guilt that many ex-witnesses experience, compelling them to return at some point. Lastly, I would strongly advise that you not to discuss the WT with her right away. Even as you begin uncovering all of the horrific and unbelievable stuff that goes on in the WT, don’t bring it up to her – You have to get a very solid evaluation of where she stands today before you begin discussing it with her. The first question to try and determine where she is presently: Does she consider JW’s & The Watchtower a cult? If she can't answer a definative yes, and explain why, the possiblity of returning is very high. My guess from your posts is that you may not even consider them a cult?
Let me know if I can help in any way,
TF
