Yeah clarity, there are ex jehovah's witnesses facebook pages. Here's the link https://www.facebook.com/groups/xjwrg3/
Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery is an awesome page. They meet up every July 4th in Pennsylvania in an annual BBQ.
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JoinedPosts by fade_away
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7
Another guilt trip attempt
by fade_away inhey guys, sorry i haven't written in so long.
most of you won't remember me but i have been more active on an ex-jw facebook page than i have been here.
my mother just tried to put me through another guilt trip (yeah those are great).
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7
Another guilt trip attempt
by fade_away inhey guys, sorry i haven't written in so long.
most of you won't remember me but i have been more active on an ex-jw facebook page than i have been here.
my mother just tried to put me through another guilt trip (yeah those are great).
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Hey guys, sorry I haven't written in so long. Most of you won't remember me but I have been more active on an ex-JW facebook page than I have been here.
My mother just tried to put me through another guilt trip (yeah those are great). She asked if I went to the memorial and I said no. She thinks I've been going to them despite the fact I no longer attend meetings. I don't like to do things half-ass and attend some of their rituals and not others. I'm either in or I'm out so no, I did not go just like I didn't go last year or the year before. Of course she took it kind of hard when I said I didn't attend. Then she proceeds to tell me that someone on my wife's old facebook profile (that she hasn't used in over a year), saw pictures of her birthday party some of our "worldly" friends threw for her.
So basically, JWs are still spying on our old FB accounts to see what pictures we get tagged on and report anything they see that goes against their doctrines. I didn't confirm the party but I didn't deny it either. We did have a birthday party and it was so much fun! We had a blast. I told my mom "You want us to go back, but to what? To those so-called 'friends' that spy on our every move and run to the elders the first chance they get? To the people that generate so much damn drama?" ... No thanks.
I deleted my old FB profile and my wife's old profile. I confronted my mom about the birthday thing too. I asked her where in the Bible does it say birthdays are wrong. She said "didn't you learn anything while you were in?" I said I learned that there are two Bible stories that mention tragedies happening at birthdays but nothing in there that indicates the birthday itself was wrong....only what happened at the birthday. So if somebody gets killed at a wedding, should we not celebrate weddings from that moment on? How does one make the connection that God disapproves of birthdays because someone died at one thousands of years ago. How and why does God blame the birthday party for what happened? Birthdays being a sin is not in the Bible, it is an add-on by the Watchtower.
I brought up how pagan wedding bands and veils are yet there is no problem there. But she said weddings are ok because Jesus attended some and nobody died. I mean really? So it takes a death to make it wrong? Well it looks like by attending a wedding, Jesus attended a pagan ritual and because nobody died, then it's ok. I guess somebody must have died during Christmas and Halloween too because they are just as bad to them. I called them out on their hypocrisy and I may have started the beginning of my disfellowshipping. She said I need to talk to my dad because he is an elder and can answer my questions. Then she started the tears and the guilt trip about my dead brother who I won't see in the new world and how the governing body is warning that we are closer to the end than ever and all that crap.
My parents don't know I'm an atheist but if they keep pushing the subject, I will tell them that all their arguments are invalid since I not only disbelieve the Watchtower to be the mouth of God, I also disbelieve in God himself. "Where will we turn to?" That's what she keeps asking over and over. Brainwashed into believing life is worthless, meaningless and pointless without the WT. I feel sorry for her for not being able to see the beauty in life without religion. My marriage is much stronger and happier than some JW couples I know and it shows what BS that threefold cord theory is. Also, I have friends now that don't care what I believe or don't believe and do not cause any drama whatsoever. I just told her that I am living proof that happiness and fulfillment can be achieved without religion. I haven't heard the end of this I'm sure. -
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My best friend/enemy
by fade_away inlengthy read ahead!!!!
there's a story i have wanted to share with the ex-jw community.
i have always been too lazy to write it in detail before.
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*Warning!!! Lengthy read ahead!!!!*
There's a story I have wanted to share with the Ex-JW community. I have always been too lazy to write it in detail before. But today I have a lot of time and patience to write it. It's a story of the gradual change of friendship. How a friend slowly transforms into a complete stranger over time. Leaving the Jehovah's Witness community, I saw that change among a few "friends".
I was always very shy in the Kingdom Hall and had no friends whatsoever. My dad was very concerned about me because of my shy anti-social ways. I was ok really. I was very happy alone just sitting in my room drawing or playing video games. I wanted/needed no friends whatsoever. No depression from being alone. I preferred loneliness. I was a loner. I developed that personality from years of not fitting into society...neither worldly nor spiritual JW society. I had nothing in common with 99% of the population on this planet and felt like an alien. But I adapted to that and lived in my own world where I was always happy. But even though I was happy, my parents were concerned about me. Society says we have to be social and have friends, otherwise there is something wrong with you. No room or excuses for loners.
Every time we had social gatherings among the congregation, I always wanted to stay home. But since I was a child, I had no choice but to tag along most of the time. I was a bit of an oddball to the other kids at the party. All the kids went to the attic to play Mortal Kombat (a video game kids, especially JW kids shouldn't play). I tried to join them but when they saw me, they told me to leave. They said I wasn't invited and a boy literally pushed me out of the room. A woman saw that and forced the kid to invite me in and let me join them. As awkward as it was, I joined them for the night. This whole experience was a reminder of why I rather be alone in my own world of art and entertainment.
Anyway, one day when my parents threw another get-together (this time at our own house), I stayed in my room while the party was going on in the basement. My dad invited this one kid and his brother I have always seen at the hall but never talked to. His name is Victor and his older brother was Juan. My dad, being as concerned as he was over my anti-social behavior, told them to go pay me a visit in my room upstairs. I was in my room playing the first Playstation which was the thing back in the mid 90s. They burst in and I was already pissed at the fact these strangers were in my room, but I kept my annoyed emotions to myself and invited them to play. Turns out Victor and Juan were huge gamers and as geeky and anti-social as I was.
Not only were they like me and loved video games, but they weren't prudes. They said bad words and had a sick sense of humor. It came as a shock to me since I didn't expect that from two JW kids that looked like the Flanders kids from the Simpson. I immediately developed a strong friendship with both of them. Over the course of 12 years or so we became best friends and made some good memories. As we grew, him and his brother and I became more mature. We went from childhood sleep overs to video gaming to attempting to start our own rock band. We bought guitars and another friend bought drums and we practiced in a basement. He was changing rapidly and slowly growing out of video games and getting into music and weight lifting. I liked playing music but I didn't develop the passion he did for it.
It's ok though...it didn't affect the friendship. I stuck to my drawings and games and he stuck to his music. His brother eventually started his career and moved out and got married and did the grown-up responsible adult thing. Victor did so much as a friend. He always gave me and my family things we never asked for, bought us things, helped us financially when things were looking bad, and he always volunteered to help in any way he could. Then the time eventually came for us to depart. I had to move with my parents from Chicago to Florida. He volunteered to help us move. He traveled by car with us and helped us load and unload our stuff. We still remained long-distance friends.
Then I fell in love with a woman in our congregation. I started spending so much time with my girlfriend. Since this was the first girlfriend I have ever had, I was very excited and spend hours and days dedicated to her. Inevitably, our friendship grew apart. It's understandable, I mean come on....a girlfriend is a girlfriend! He congratulated me. We were cool.
In one of our conversations, I brought up the topic of video games and he told me he had stopped playing games and decided to focus on different hobbies. Ok, so now that is something we can't talk about. Video games...which was the first connection I made with him and his brother, are no longer a factor. It's ok we talked about music. I like music but I'm not much of a musician. He was more of a musician than an admirer of music itself. Our conversations about music was also growing apart. Twelve years of friendship had changed a lot. It seemed he kept going through phases and I was stuck in the original phase I was in when we met. Maybe I'm the problem? Maybe I didn't grow up like he did and didn't mature like I should have.
When I got married, I decided to make Victor my best man. But since he wasn't baptized, he wasn't allowed by the elders. He still came to my wedding. I asked him to be a bouncer type of figure for the wedding at least. He agreed, but as soon as the wedding was over, he wasn't very happy with the way he was treated at the wedding. He said he felt like he was used and felt like a pawn at the wedding. What a fucking chick!! He is totally breaking the man-code! He felt like not enough attention was dedicated to him. It was my day, not his. He wasn't baptized...there's not much spot light I can shine on him. He couldn't be the best man, so what more can I do for him? I gave him the privilege of being the one in charge of making sure the invited ones were let in through the door. He sent me a couple of concert tickets as a wedding gift through the mail...along with a guilt trip letter letting me know what a lousy friend I was at my wedding and how I didn't really deserve the concert tickets. Thanks a lot...I really enjoyed the concert knowing he was on the verge of ripping the tickets apart before he send them.
After I got married, my wife and I decided to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses because of our skeptic views on the organization as well as the Bible itself. We were atheists at heart. I revealed to Victor the fact I had left and told him I found out some things about the Watchtower organization I never knew about before. I asked him to promise he wouldn't run away from me and immediately label me as an apostate after I revealed some of the things I had found out. He told me he wouldn't shun me. I sent him some facts of the Watchtower via email....He never responded. He had just fallen in love with some girl in his congregation. She was baptized and he was not. I told him not to get baptized just so he can have the approval of the congregation to marry her. I warned him of the life commitment he would be making to the Watchtower and how baptism meant a point of no return...how there is no way to get out unscathed. Don't do it for a girl. It's not worth it.....
....well, he did it. He got baptized and sold his soul to the WT for her. He invited me to his wedding and then went silent and unreachable for months. I wasn't sure the wedding was still on. About four months went by and I couldn't contact him. I assumed the wedding was either off, or I wasn't invited anymore. I wasn't ready to travel to Chicago because of financial reasons, but I promised them both an awesome wedding gift via mail. Then about a month prior to his wedding he contacted me and said he's been busy. He asked me if I was still going to his wedding. I said "sorry, but since I couldn't get in touch with you, I didn't know what was going on. I can't afford a trip up there on such short notice." He said it's ok and even took the blame for going off the radar for months. He still sent me an official mail invite. I was supposed to answer "yes or no" and mail it back to let him know whether or not I was going to his wedding.
I lost his invitation, but I figured it's ok cause he already knows I won't be able to make it. Then the same week he is about to get married he texts me "So, I guess you're not coming to the wedding". I said "Sorry, I lost your invite letter, I already told you I won't be able to make it. But I want to send you both a gift though. What address should I mail it to? If I find the letter I will officially respond" Then he wrote "Don't bother sending it back. Bye."
That is the last I have heard of him in about 8 months. He hasn't responded to any texts, calls or emails. What's really fucked up is that my brother died the same week Victor got married. I attended my brother's funeral on the same day my "best friend" Victor was having his wedding. Victor found out about my brother's death and didn't call or text or email or contact me in any way to see how I was doing! Some fucking best friend he was! He is too upset about me not attending his precious wedding to give a damn about my dead brother. His mother called me to offer her condolences. Not him though. Almost 15 years of friendship for this climatic ending. After the emails against the organization that I sent him, he probably saw me as nothing more than an apostate. So I'm sure he felt nothing for my loss...even though my brother was an elder at the time of his death. All he sees is "apostate" in my wife and I.
Well, that is the end of a friendship I once called my "best friend". If he ever wakes up and sees the organization for what it is, I'll forgive him and maybe we can be best friends again. -
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Doomsday e-mail has my co-worker paranoid
by fade_away ini cannot stand the doomsday people trying to spread fear amongst everyone.
i've had enough doom and gloom from the 25 years of my jw service...i just want to be happy and positive.
but my co-worker is very pessimistic, anti-social and an extreme negative energy all around.
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He sees World War 3 in everything. He is not a JW but I bet he would fit right in. My dad saw WWIII when the twin towers were attacked in NY. People saw WWIII during the cold war. Some people are just SO anxious for the world to end. I don't see the big obsession over it.
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Doomsday e-mail has my co-worker paranoid
by fade_away ini cannot stand the doomsday people trying to spread fear amongst everyone.
i've had enough doom and gloom from the 25 years of my jw service...i just want to be happy and positive.
but my co-worker is very pessimistic, anti-social and an extreme negative energy all around.
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I cannot stand the doomsday people trying to spread fear amongst everyone. I've had enough Doom and Gloom from the 25 years of my JW service...I just want to be happy and positive. But my co-worker is very pessimistic, anti-social and an extreme negative energy all around. It's exhausting to talk to him sometimes and leaves you drained of positive energy. One of the many negative things he focuses on is the end of mankind and how this whole world is long over due for a major catastrophe. How we are over populated and it's just a matter of time before at least half of the population is wiped out...either by man or nature. He believes it will happen in my lifetime and possibly in his. He won't admit it, but I can tell he kinda believes the Mayan crap about the world ending this year. His wife send him this e-mail today and it had him a bit freaked out.
"This email came from a friend. It is first hand information, not spam.
My step dad received this from a friend that he went to school with in California. I don't believe it is a hoax and also have read of this in the news the past year and recently. To me this is not good news for any of us . Hope all is well with you all .
Subject: Something is coming.
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I don't know if you follow such things but...
A good friend and his family live in Jerusalem - he is a minister - and a former Navy SEAL - his office is close to one of Israel's largest underground military bases.
He called me last night which is very unusual - usually it's just email.
He called to tell me that he is sending his family back to the US immediately due to what he is seeing happen within the last week and what he is being told by his military contacts in both the Israel and US military.
He said he is seeing with his own eyes military movements the likes of which he has never seen in his 20+ years in Israel.
What he called a massive redeployment and protective tactics of forces is underway.
Over the last two days he has seen anti-aircraft missile deployments throughout the Jerusalem area including 3 mobile units that he can see from his office windows.
In addition, he has seen very large Israeli armored columns moving fast toward the Sinai where Egypt has now moved in Armor.
There are reports of the top military leaders meeting with Israel's Sr. Rabi which is something that has happened preceding every prior military campaign.
His admonition is to watch carefully and pray for Israel and its people.
He is convinced that barring something extraordinary Israel will attack Iran or Egypt or both - with or without the US - and very soon.
It is the belief in Israel that Obama does not stand with Israel but with the Arab countries.
He has told me before that Israel will saber rattle from time to time but that this time is very different from what he is seeing and hearing.He was at the Wailing Wall 2 days ago and there were hundreds of IDF soldiers there As he was leaving he passed at least 20 military buses full of soldiers in route to the wall.
He has never seen this before either.
Just thought I would pass this along. My friend is not an alarmist by any means.
When he talks like this it gets my attention for sure and usually I find he knows more than he shares.
There are reports that Israel is asking Obama to come to Israel immediately but they are being answered with silence.
My opinion is that I see the making of the perfect storm."Then my co-worker said "This seems to be happening just in time for December this year. It could be World War 3 and what the Mayans probably tried to warn us of."
Man, what a drag it is to talk to him.
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My worst friend
by fade_away ini need to vent a bit here.
my wife is a social person who finds it very easy to find people she can connect with and have tons in common.
i am the complete opposite.
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I need to vent a bit here. My wife is a social person who finds it very easy to find people she can connect with and have tons in common. I am the complete opposite. We left the borg together a couple of years ago and by now she has awesome friends. But they're all women friends with their women talk and their many women things they have in common with each other. I'm excluded from that of course...but there is one guy friend in the group who is two and a half times my age and can pass for my father. I have absolutely NOTHING in common with him. His conversations are always about the plans for the next day or the next weekend. There's only like 3 places to go in my boring town and he just keeps talking about next week's plans to go to one of these 3 places. He is very repetitive in what he says and very pushy too.
I like to talk about things as shallow as movies, music and videogames, to things as deep as psychology, the cosmos, evolution and the meaning of our existence as a human species. None of these are topics of conversation with him. If he was at least an ex-JW I can have a lot to talk about with him, but he never was part of any cult. He doesn't seem to be interested in religion or science. He only likes to talk about the plans for next week and the latest legal weed he has discovered to smoke. Interesting for like 3 minutes but certainly not for hours every single weekend for a year in a row. He wants to go on a cruise next year and he is extremely pushy if I say "no" or even if I say "I don't know yet". He annoys the shit out of me!
My wife on the other hand is having a great time with her friends, so when she wants to go out, I let her go alone. I can't go with her because I can't stand to be with my "friend". I would love to tag along if I had a buddy I can relate to and have hilarious drunken conversations with at the bar while my wife enjoyed her girl talk and dancing on the dance floor. That would be my idea of a good time. Instead I'm sitting with my head on the table listening to an old man talk about next week's plans to do the same shit we are doing now. I also don't enjoy staying up all night at a bar full of mid-life crisis people. I can stay to midnight and then I have to go home because the alcohol won't let me stay up past 12 or 1am. Everyone else is wide awake and hyper and I'm struggling to stay awake with a migrane caused by my lack of sleep. I'm depriving myself from passing out while everyone is full of enough energy to dance all freaking night.
My wife and I were closer on the weekends until we decided to look for friends. Now our friends are getting in between me and her and she's going out having a great time while I stay home to avoid all that unpleasantness. She had an easy time making friends and I'm falling behind because it takes me years maybe decades to find people I get along with. I can't get along with 99% of the people I meet. Maybe I'm too picky, or easily annoyed. But I can't fake it and pretend I like someone when i don't. Has anyone here ever been in this situation? Anyone ever been stuck with a friend they hate? I need advice on how to "break up" with this guy...(I know it sounds gay)
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Intense emotional dream
by fade_away ini had a dream last night i don't think i'll ever forget.. .
you see, my brother passed away a few months ago from an asthma attack at the age of 36. i've been learning to accept it and trying to move on, but last night a dream re-opened the wound a bit in a good way.
i dreamt that he was still alive but he knew and we all knew he was about to die...as if it was a terminal illness he had instead.
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I had a dream last night I don't think I'll ever forget.
You see, my brother passed away a few months ago from an asthma attack at the age of 36. I've been learning to accept it and trying to move on, but last night a dream re-opened the wound a bit in a good way. I dreamt that he was still alive but he knew and we all knew he was about to die...as if it was a terminal illness he had instead. Him and my wife and I were hanging out one last time the day before he was supposed to die. (we even knew the day of his death in my dream)
He was talking about how he just finished paying off his house mortgage just in time before his death, and he was talking about his life and all the things he wished he would've done. I was just listening the whole time. Then without saying a word, I interrupted him with a hug. He hugged back and we didn't let go for a while. No words were needed, we all knew what the hug was for. I started crying really hard in the middle of this hug and then I woke up. I didn't say a word in this dream. It was just a goodbye hug that I didn't get the chance to give him in real life. I woke up crying as hard as I was in the dream.
My brother shows up in my dreams from time to time. I try not to tell my parents about my dreams of him because that just opens the door to JW propaganda and guilt trips and fairy tales of resurrection. I talk about him, they talk about Jehovah. To me that is WAY off the subject. But oh well, I thought I would share that little experience here. That is one memorable dream I had!
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My favorite scene from my favorite show
by fade_away inas an atheist and a huge fan of firefly and serenity....here's one of my favorite scenes where river tam tries to fix the bible because it doesn't make sense.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sip6fjqczpy.
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As an atheist and a huge fan of Firefly and Serenity....Here's one of my favorite scenes where River Tam tries to fix the Bible because it doesn't make sense.
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My favorite scene from my favorite show
by fade_away inas an atheist and a huge fan of firefly and serenity....here's one of my favorite scenes where river tam tries to fix the bible because it doesn't make sense.. .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sip6fjqczpy.
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As an atheist and a huge fan of Firefly and Serenity....Here's one of my favorite scenes where River Tam tries to fix the Bible because it doesn't make sense.
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