Posts by Kensho

186

Just out of curiosity, how many elders (current & ex) do we have here?

by mrquik in

jw
friends

me.

Kensho

In for 40 yrs as of 2014, ms-pioneer-elder. I disagree with some comments about the BOE, my experience with brothers I served was they all cared for each other and truly loved the congregation and I considered them my friends and still do.

The problem is Elders are not allowed to think for themselves and use their God given gift of reason and Christ like love when dealing with problems, they can only do what they are told by CO and the borg in general following the "letter of the WT law".

They are convinced they are doing God's will and that Holy Spirit is involved and that is the only way they keep their sanity!

They were forced by CO to delete me (I manuvered this, can't give details) and it was a very emotional time for all.

I could no longer take the BS and could not teach and enforce what I did not believe, for example;

HS involved in appointments

Change on the deletions based on the "type" of porno the elder viewed (elders will understand what I'm referring to)

FS time guilt talks

status titles-Elders,MS,Pioneers etc.

never question GB and on and on, you get the idea

after deletion I really learned TTATT (mainly from JWN-JWFACTS thank you) and now have become a Deist hiding as a JW (wife is 100% JDUB)

I can't imagine how anyone can remain an elder or any position of teaching in the org. after knowing TTATT it is hard enough just being a seat warmer for the sake of family without jumping up and screaming during a meeting.

But hey that's just me to each his own.

Kensho

59

In 12 Lines or Less: GIVE US YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY POETICALLY

by Terry in

jw
friends

autobiography.

forever began at the day of my birth, but, it turns out that it was a lie,.

i am who i am when nobody's watching, then nothing is there to deny.. .

Kensho

This double life I live is insane.

It's the hardest of man's games to play.

To lose would be a bullet through the brain,or at least just blow a main.

But then I change my point of view and start anew

While thinking of those who walk in the shadows and pick their battles, keeping some humanity on the road to their insanity.

So I continue without blame to live another day although ashamed,

for a chance to win this crazy game.

composed during D-to-D this morning.....bizarre isn't it.

Kensho

33

Are there people who have returned

by His Excellency in

jw
friends

considering all the consequences of leaving the organization (especially the loss of family), some who have already known ttat have decided to return and continue with the flow just to keep their families and friend.. my question is if anyone here had tried it and how they have been managing living a lie constantly day-after-day?, as i am seriously considering returnning back to the full routine..

Kensho

I have mixed feelings on this,

I escaped the prison in 88 went "worldly" crazy drugs & rock n Roll, you get the picture.
Read CoC twice, thought no big deal, went running back to JW rehab after hitting the bottom.

Became super Bro. Studied in depth,Pioneer,married a pioneer, MS, Elder, apostate hater super hardcore.

Then the things I read in Franz's book came up from my now drug free memory banks when the "new light" on sheep & goats, overlapping Gen., blood fractions, NGO, what type porno is bad enough to remove servant and on and on up to after 95 years, the discovery about the GB/FDS. (Franz predicted that many of these would take place as time went on and the WT. Fixed dates)

The awakening and fade begins, got myself removed as elder but stayed in good standing (that was a trick) no school, volunteering and just showing up once in a blue moon and writing some numbers on a slip to keep the "shepherds" police at bay.

Why stay in you ask?

If all the above never took place I would not have met the wonderful woman I am married to and she is the only reason I choose to live in this prison, hoping one day she will wake up.( no sacrifice is to great for her)
I also have some great 40 yr. Conditional based friends, that would drop me again as before! WTF?

So I say if you can get out stay out, because living a dbl life is extremely difficult (one life is hard enough) and I suppose it will be the mental end of me.

I read a quote daily ( replaces daily text) from a fellow Deist , Thomas Paine, that I hope one day I can apply to myself.

" it is necessary for the happiness of man to be mentally faithful to himself, for infidelity does not consist in believing, but consist in professing to believe what he does not."

Break out and Stay out if you can!

Kensho

20

Out of the mental cell stuck in the physical prison......no-win situation

by Kensho in

jdubs are fond of quoting peter "where are we to go lord"... well the answer for me has been this forum for last couple of years which is really sad because i should be able to talk to my lifelong friends instead of faceless avatars.

( don't get me wrong this place has helped me through some really rough times mentally kudos to terry, cedars,slimboyfat, blondie,jwfacts and many others.).

the shun gun has prevented me from making the move completely out of this cult i have given my life to.

Kensho

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions everyone, just a really bad night.

I do have a life outside the borg. great "real" career and successful local musician these do keep me sane. The problem comes down to just living a lie and forced to play this stupid game.

I just view the meetings and "fake" service time (maybe 1 hr knocking on not at homes) as the price of admission to the club where all the people I care about hang out.

ABibleStudent

"If JWs believe that Simon Peter said "Where are we to go Lord?" they need to read the Bible more than WTBTS propaganda. It is interesting how the WTBTS pretends to quote Bible scriptures in their propaganda so that JWs can demonstate how knowledgable they are of Bible scriptures - They're not!! "

I was purposely mis-quoting the scripture to reflect the mind set of witnesses, although it is true what you say about WTBTS propaganda.

SIAM

I must give credit where credit is due. I took the title of this thread from the excellent thread you posted , it really hit me and is so spot on, you are also one of the many posters on JWN that I enjoy reading.

Kensho

20

Out of the mental cell stuck in the physical prison......no-win situation

by Kensho in

jdubs are fond of quoting peter "where are we to go lord"... well the answer for me has been this forum for last couple of years which is really sad because i should be able to talk to my lifelong friends instead of faceless avatars.

( don't get me wrong this place has helped me through some really rough times mentally kudos to terry, cedars,slimboyfat, blondie,jwfacts and many others.).

the shun gun has prevented me from making the move completely out of this cult i have given my life to.

Kensho

Jdubs are fond of quoting Peter "Where are we to go Lord"... well the answer for me has been this forum for last couple of years which is really sad because I should be able to talk to my lifelong friends instead of faceless avatars. ( don't get me wrong this place has helped me through some really rough times mentally Kudos to Terry, Cedars,Slimboyfat, Blondie,JWFacts and many others.)

The shun gun has prevented me from making the move completely out of this cult I have given my life to. The utter disgust for all things WT is becoming unbearable at times. This is one of those times and JWN is the only place I can vent. (sorry for the rant in advance)

Can't talk to my JW best friend of 40 plus years or the many lifelong JW friends or even my wife who I love dearly and would lose if I was exposed. She is really the one who holds the key to my prison but she is 100% witness. ( I can't blame them, they are fellow victims and prisoners of this cult & still asleep)

You can't discuss this with anyone who has not had the JW life because there is no way for them to relate, they would just say "get the hell out" not realizing the tight controlls and the huge price that would have to be paid to get out.

My plan is to make the jump to complete inactivity using the "new light" about the FDS/GB BS in the July WT. on top of the already established overlapping gen. Crap, as my excuse and then out completely.

I know many on JWN would say, they made the exit I can too, but when I consider the price, loosing everything at the second half of my life I admit fear over takes me and I convince myself that the sacrifice of "faking it" is worth it, life is full of sacrifice.

What an ingenious prison the borg has put together, one must admire it's effectiveness while at the same time holding utter contempt for the architects.

I have become a closet Deist which has given me peace with all things related to revealed religion and it has made it easy to go through the motions of meetings and putting some numbers on a piece of paper to keep up the front, it's all BS anyway.

The big thing I come back is a quote from Thomas Paine (deist founding father)

" It is necessary for the happiness of man to be mentally faithful to himself, for infidelity does not consist in believing, it consist in professing to believe what he does not,"

At times something deep inside me says achieving the above is worth all the price I would pay, and at other times I beckon for the solace of the eternal dirt nap.

Thanks for the page time!

Kensho

43

Bethel Speaker- get rid of Facebook!

by Kensho in

jw
friends

special assembly day (sad) bethel speaker ( a very good speaker i might add) in his talk " follow your spirit-directed conscience gave example of and elder and his family.

he noticed his wife and daughter spending a lot of time morning noon and night on facebook, it almost seemed like that is all they did, so as a spiritual head decided to see what they were constantly looking at, "let me see what you are spending so much time looking at on facebook said the elder".

the wife explained this is how we keep in contact with the "friends", elder started to look at her page and she was correct, there he found friends in the cong.

Kensho

Special Assembly day (SAD) bethel speaker ( a very good speaker I might add) in his talk " Follow your Spirit-Directed Conscience gave example of and elder and his family. He noticed his wife and daughter spending a lot of time morning noon and night on Facebook, it almost seemed like that is all they did, so as a spiritual head decided to see what they were constantly looking at, "let me see what you are spending so much time looking at on facebook said the elder"

The wife explained this is how we keep in contact with the "friends", elder started to look at her page and she was correct, there he found friends in the cong. And other places......but he noticed "they don't really TALK like witnesses it seems they are hiding that to some degree.

Elder decided to have a family discussion during family worship night, and after discussing this, the wife anddaughter came to the conclusion to cut their facebook accounts. (nice play on who decided)

Bethel speaker.. " Now that was their decision for them, we are not saying (hint,hint,wink,wink) that this is what you should do.

Are you kidding why even give this example if not to "suggest" that is exactly what we want you to do. But you decide okay.

Man these guys are very methodical, but my wife ain't having none of that we have family all over the country and facebook is a great way to stay in contact. Anything can take to much of your time if you are not careful, they just want to control your time and what you use the enternet for.

I wonder how many got the message and dropped their facebook accounts?

Kensho

15

CO talk at SAD appl. of 2 Thess. 1:8 & other mind control tactics

by Kensho in

jw
friends

now that i am really "awake" at the assemblies i pay more attention to what the borg's traveling enforcers say and the talk he gave was some "new light" on 2 thess.

1:8 (probably his opinion).

paraphrased " there is a thinking that has crept in somehow in the minds of some brothers over the years that because jehovah is a merciful &loving god he will not destroy those who have not been reached with the good news in different parts of the world or my family or bible studies need just a little more time, well they need to read this script.. .

Kensho

Now that I am really "awake" at the assemblies I pay more attention to what the Borg's traveling enforcers say and the talk he gave was some "new light" on 2 Thess. 1:8 (probably his opinion)

paraphrased " There is a thinking that has crept in somehow in the minds of some brothers over the years that because Jehovah is a merciful &loving God he will not destroy those who have not been reached with the good news in different parts of the world or my family or bible studies need just a little more time, well they need to read this script.

(2 Thessalonians 1:8) in a flaming fire, as he brings vengeance upon those who do not know God and those who do not obey the good news about our Lord Jesus.

Well I guess either Jah is going to wipe out anyone who never gets a chance for a witness and bible studies that do not make a quick decision to get baptized and forget your procrastinating family members. (wow what a God of justice) or maybe this comment he later made is a clue for this application.

" what if you had the power to bring Armageddon today? But you looked at the fact that if you waited for one more week the lives of 5,000 more people would be saved and they would thank you every day in the new system, so wouldn't you wait one more week? Then you would face that same situation the next week and the week after etc. as that is how many are being baptized world wide each week."

I think the above along with all the recent major revisionist "new light" coming out, that the borg. Is setting up the R&F for a very long haul and eventually the dropping of 1914 as the beginning of the last days as the 100 yr. Anniversary is just around the corner.

He went on to answer the question "why do we turn in FS time reports , I'm sure the first century cong. Didn't do that?"

The answer...wait for it........"because the GB tells me to report my time!"

well I guess that just sums it up...what mind control.

Kensho

2

Bitter-Sweet Memorial of nearly 3,000

by Kensho in

this memorial was my 40th (minus a couple of yrs, df'd) and although i have faded as far as possible and still able to keep my family and friends it was the strangest and most reflective of all since learning ttatt.. i tried to focus on the talk to see if it was anything earth shattering but the only thing was the major focus on who should not partake.. i won't focus on the talk as many have already posted that and the fact that it was from a gb/fds outline it was the same everywhere.. i quickly started looking around at all the people wondering how many were like me totally awake like someone who wakes up from anesthesia during major surgery and feels immense pain, but know one in the room knows.. there must be many among us, we can't speak , move or share our pain we must endure.

that is truly hell.. when i looked around at the large crowd i saw many whom i love dearly and have had truly wonderful times with, ones that i would still gladly give my life for not as jdubs but just because of who they are.. .

these are good people who for the most part are just trying to be the best humans possible in an impossible situation.

Kensho

This memorial was my 40th (minus a couple of yrs, DF'd) and although I have faded as far as possible and still able to keep my family and friends it was the strangest and most reflective of all since learning TTATT.

I tried to focus on the talk to see if it was anything earth shattering but the only thing was the major focus on WHO should not partake.
I won't focus on the talk as many have already posted that and the fact that it was from a GB/FDS outline it was the same everywhere.

I quickly started looking around at all the people wondering how many were like me totally awake like someone who wakes up from anesthesia during major surgery and feels immense pain, but know one in the room knows.

There must be many among us, we can't speak , move or share our pain we must endure. That is truly hell.
When I looked around at the large crowd I saw many whom I love dearly and have had truly wonderful times with, ones that I would still gladly give my life for not as Jdubs but just because of who they are.

. These are good people who for the most part are just trying to be the best humans possible in an impossible situation. Who are serving a "God "who is not there but which can fill the need humans have to explain all that is bad and give a hope (false) that this isn't all there is. No crime there right?

But then I realized these lifelong friends would forget all about me in a New York second if they only knew, that even includes my family (the reason I'm still in the prison although out of the cell)

Then while passing the wine, it hit me how can the Org pull this off?
I mean there is no doubt they are organized, they can diffidently mobilize the troops do believe and do anything they want! It is truly an amazing thing to behold to be able to hold 8 million captives of a concept on a worldwide scale.

During this annual event that has always been used to solidify the 2 class system (soon to be 3) I thought maybe I could just take the good and leave the crap I mean I have "downsized from pioneering elder to 2-3 hrs. per month FS, not on the school, no "privileges" or even family study this is easy I can save my marriage and keep my friends....... cool. Ah yes the gift of reason steps in, I took inventory of just what all the CRAP is that I had to fake I believed in..

shunning, blood issues,constant "new light" (overlapping Gen., history of WT and GB now also the only FDS) hold on there.

The fact that my core beliefs are founded in Deism and remembering my favorite quote from Thomas Paine
"it is necessary for the happiness of man to be mentally faithful to himself, for infidelity does not consist of believing or not believing ,it consist of professing to believe what he does not,"

So I must be willing to lose it all, and this I surely will do very soon.

OK release the hounds !

Kensho

67

There are really TWO Watchtower Societies

by Terry in

with cedars release of leaked watchtower new light "adjusting" understanding of "who" the faithful and discreet slave is.....i am struck by something which similarly struck me back in 1967.in 1967 i had just been imprisoned.

being a male jehovah's witness during the viet nam war meant certain "issues" arose affecting a decision to respond to the military draft.i have told the story before.

but, i'd like go at it from another angle in view of the above mentioned new light about the fds fora different reason.it was first in 1967 i began to discover that there are two watchtower societies.let me explain why i say this and for what reasons.first of all, anybody standing in a kingdom hall or sitting in a seat at a vast international assembly saw people they would identify as all on the same page.

Kensho

Terry,

Throw the monkey a banana and ignore him!

You are one of the most prolific writers on JWN and your experiences and WTBS knowledge have helped me tremendously.

He must have never been a JW or at lest not one who spent the bulk of his life in as many others here, because every ex-lifer knows you can leave the org and have a somewhat "normal" life but the Org never leaves you.

Terry keep up the good work, and know what you do matters to many. (especially the stuck-ins )

Just Saying

Kensho

13

Goofey CO visit..your comments please

by Kensho in

jw
friends

i don't post here often but do read daily, wanted to share a couple of interested things from recent co visit,.

good talk on opening night about forgiveness etc.

etc.. (to bad the borg doesn't practice this) but then on cong.

Kensho

unstopableravens wow maybe we are in the same hall, that would be a hoot! Kensho