Terry,
I should have asked you what you disagree with.
I agree with your statement "One little slip and you are doomed to be excluded from your drug (certainty) and the group itself"
My basic premise just elaborates on what you said ie. we are conditioned to be in cults because of the historically authoritarian structure of the family.
Our family is our O-G that got us dependent on the family drug.
People need to grow out of the dependency on family.
The demand for unconditional love is unrealistic. I have never met anyone who loved me unconditionally. There are always benefits to the other person whether monetary or emotional.
When the benefits stop - the love stops.
It's called a transaction. A social transaction.
If you love your family more than yourself you are doomed.
If your JW family loves their "new family" more than they do you then it's time to move on.
Many have done that. This forum is really a JW Annonymous. It's a place where we can get off the dependency drug.
So, basically I'm saying I agree with YOU. And, agree with you that collectivism, like any -ism, is probably more bad then good. We just have to be cautious about affiliating with any kind of group whether for a living, special interest, therapeutic etc.
Once we know our own identity we will know when there is synergy between our identity and the group's purpose.
Family should be a place where you learn your identity. Unfortunately, we have these giant people running our lives and oftentimes our individual temperaments are different from these "giant authorities" and
we make poor adaptations to them and bury our core identity.