"Because the muslim and I decided to sacrifice the mormon and see which of our gods would light the fire first. I teased the muslim and told him that Allah must be taking a dump, that's why the fire won't light. He got all mad and set off his suicide vest, which simultaneously killed him, and lit the sacrifice on fire. Woo-hoo, thanks God!"
OverlappingGeneralizations
JoinedPosts by OverlappingGeneralizations
-
16
Who can come up with the punch line why JW's are not delusional.
by James Mixon injw seek treatment for mental breakdown.. he tells the physician, my non-jw family tell me i'm nuts because i preach we are the only true religion (jws).. the doctor said that is strange because i have two patients that checked in yesterday and they .
each said they belong to the only true religions.
one is a mormon and the other a muslim.. so the doctor thought i will lock all three up in the same room for the night and see what.
-
-
-
71
This week's resurrection video, will it backfire on the wt?
by prologos inthe resurrection is supposed to be a joyous occasion?, if it ever happened!
--well, this week's showing at the hall was the opposite, it was about death with violins playing in the background.
a recently bereaved member, , full of tears, (like many others) could not contain herself.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
A born-in relative of mine angrily said "why do they have to keep making me cry!?!"
It's true, and it's sad. Last weeks video with the suicidal woman, then this week watching a loved one die, wtf... Yeah, real encouraging.
I mean, what congregation doesn't have SOMEBODY who has had a recent (or impending) death to deal with? How heartless to make a video that is nothing more than an intentional gut-punch.
If you want to highlight paradise, use what works; speak the dubbie language. Show them picnic baskets, khakis, and cuddly grizzly bears. That's the formula. It's worked since day one.
Nobody is going to be drawn to this modern-day tear-jerking crap. Can you imagine a person coming to that video on their first visit? I bet it would be their only visit... -
75
Witness Punk and Metal Band Names
by Luther bertrand inhere is what i would name my band(s) let see if you can list some funny ones as well.
here is my list:.
local needs.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Lett's O'Face
Judgement Day Khakis
Blackbear Picnic
Screamin' Squeegees
Knights of the Pinkie-Ring
Fallen Splain'gels -
75
Witness Punk and Metal Band Names
by Luther bertrand inhere is what i would name my band(s) let see if you can list some funny ones as well.
here is my list:.
local needs.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Nephilim's Pendulum
Insidious Inseam
The 11th Commandment
Princes Of Porneia
Sophia's Secret
Jesus' Purple Jeggings
9:01 Wakeup Call
Swinging Knockers
-
55
Some thoughts on the new midweek meeting
by Saltheart Foamfollower inthe new midweek meeting has been running for a month now.
here are my thoughts on how it is going so far:.
1) elders are looking frazzled from being on virtually every meeting and having to prepare unfamiliar formats for items.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Somebody told me that in their congregation, the local needs part was about the new format- And that all 3 demo parts are to flow together. So not only do the publishers have to concoct their own demo, they have to call the other pubs who have demos that night and make sure they all flow together! How's that supposed to work? What about when somebody doesn't show up? What a logistical nightmare.
The whole thing is a stressful trainwreck. I absolutely hate it.
Our hall was one of the 'lucky' ones to host the annual meeting, so we were set up with an expensive projector system. Now when we have to play a video, the brothers have to rush up to the stage, and clear everything EVERYTHING out of the way of the screen. For a 2-minute BS video. Then rush back up and put it all back. What a colossal waste. Those stupid silhouette videos don't even need to be seen! Why can't they just play them over the speakers, there's nothing to see! Lemme close my eyes and guess what's happening- a frumpy sister with limited vocabulary is giving a magazine to a fictional householder who actually let her finish a presentation? Wait, was I right?...
Our elder body is very old, and I feel sorry for them having to work so hard. Doesn't the bOrg see that no young people are stepping up? And seeing how punishing the schedule is for the older ones is certainly going to scare them off even faster.
Way to make that 'load lighter and more kindly'... -
42
What I thought CLAM meant , can you think of anymore ?
by smiddy infor a while there i was confused as to what clam stood for .. ideas that crossed my mind .
christ left a ministry , or meeting .
children`s lives are mine .....( pedo`s in the borg ).
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Careless Language At (the) Mic
Clueless Leader, Anthony Morris
Condemning Lesbians And Masturbation
Converted Lemmings Applauding Mistruths
Come Live Anguished Mentally
Come Live Amongst Morons
-
38
2016-1-25-BOE on Applause or Clapping!
by Atlantis injust in case someone wanted this letter for their records.
.. http://postimg.org/image/dn44a9m9h/.
.. petra!.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Ooh! Does this mean that we can boo when somebody gets disfellowshipped? It's only fair. -
38
2016-1-25-BOE on Applause or Clapping!
by Atlantis injust in case someone wanted this letter for their records.
.. http://postimg.org/image/dn44a9m9h/.
.. petra!.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
"If the publishers choose to applaud, the elders should not discourage them from doing so"
There's something wrong with the past/present tense in that sentence. How can the elders discourage you from doing something you already did? Or did they expect the elders to yell "Hey! Stop that! Hey!!" when people started applauding?
I want to be the first guy to stand up and do the dramatic slow-clap when the next reinstatement is announced.
-
31
The Demons were messing with me last night!
by olongapo joe inso said my pops one morning.
we were visiting my sister in eastern tennessee and the night before after everyone else went to bed pops was watching tv when all of a sudden and completely on it's own the tv changed to the tonight show, holy smokes!!
must be demons cause pops didn't change it!
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
One time I heard scratching under the floor beneath my bed. It was a giant rat. I would have preferred a demon. -
13
Using your car in service and still the GB asking for money
by life is to short ini listen to dave ramsey while i work.
he is that financial guy who hates debt.
i agree with 90 percent of what he says.
-
-
OverlappingGeneralizations
Every car I ever owned was never good enough. People griped non-stop about this car being uncomfortable, too low to the ground, no cup holders, no rear AC controls, too high to climb in, old van with only one sliding door, the sliding door isn't automatic, etc.
I always kept field service in mind when buying cars like a good dubbie should, but I gave up eventually because the root of the problem is, the 'friends' were too snobby to ride in old vehicles. If it's not a 2015 honda then forget it. Well, how are we supposed to afford brand new cars when we're supposed to be poor? Hmm?
Cars were always a touchy subject with me. I started to purposely leave things wrong with my car so I didn't have to drive. "Sorry brother, my car is acting up, can you drive?". I should have bitched about their cars, but I couldn't bring myself to 'return evil' to them.