"Yes friends..."
Something you say right before the last sentence in a public discourse. Bonus points if that last sentence incorporates the title of the talk.
"Special (week/month) of activity"
A set of circumstances has occurred that should prod the guilt-laden laity into activity. Either a campaign* has begun, the CO is visiting, it's Memorial Season*, whatever. More is expected of you. Get out there and bleat on the streets, you sheep.
Campaign
Oh no, not a presidential campaign where empty promises are made. This is a drive to deliver special pamphlets where empty promises are made. Hurry, you'll only have a month to hand them out! Don't you want to be a part of it? Ahh, nevermind. There were so many left over, we'll leave them at not-at-homes during the following months. Because, after all, "the truth never expires". Unless it is deemed incorrect, See Nu-Lite from previous posts.
Memorial Season
Kinda like Christmas season, but for dubbies. They sorta think about Jesus, but mostly think about sitting in a room for an hour, passing wine around and not drinking it, like a celestial designated driver. This is a special time where "worldly" people are invited to the meeting to see what they are missing. And a dead-silet, awkward passing of the emblems* is sure to make them queue up at the door for the next meeting. This is also a time where dubbies look forward to seeing all the people who "call themselves witnesses but only show up at the memorial". Look around, remember their faces, then talk about them when you go get ice cream after the memorial. Talk about how you wish they'd wake up (come back to the meeting), all the while secretly envying their freedom.
Emblems
Those things on the trunk of your car right? Nope. These are the bread and wine, prepared under the careful watch and sanitary conditions of the local cat-hoarder. Still want to "partake"?
Hospitality
"Who has hospitality this week" might be a confusing sentence to some. But not to the indigenous JW. He knows just what that means. He begins to think about who is assigned to pretend to know the Sunday speaker well enough to treat him to a meal. "Hi brother.... Jones, is it? Well, we have a fine $4 buffet up the street, and I have been saving my window-washing money for 6 months just so I can take you, your wife, her mother, your brother, his bible study, and your 9 children out to eat. What do you say? Do you have time for some fine christian association this afternoon?" ... "Oh, your wife is on a diet and can only eat steak, and you'd rather go to the $60-a-plate steakhouse? Why, sure! I think there's a Payday Loan place along the way..."
"The last assembly we'll ever have"
Otherwise known as "every assembly". See also "The best assembly ever", "The most encouraging assembly ever" and "The assembly where you better bring kleenex"
Attendant
This one is almost intuitive, but not quite. It's kinda like an usher, armed only with the power of suggestion. The attendant can lead you to an available seat, but you can just sit wherever you want and he's not allowed to do anything about it.
Designated Convention Parking
Look at a map of the convention area. See those parking garages conveniently located adjacent to the convention site? Don't be silly, those cost money. The branch has lovingly reserved free, pothole-ridden parking lots within walking distance of the venue. And by walking distance, I mean 6 streets west, 5 streets north. That is, if you get there in a timely fashion. If you are one minute late, all the attendants will be inside "enjoying the program", and there will be much gnashing of teeth on your behalf. Never let that happen friends! Oh, and we need volunteers to go up a day early and pull weeds. Can you make yourselves available? Show of hands? Brother, can you get the count? And now your chairman.
