I actually met my wife under very similar circumstances. I told her within the first few weeks of us talking to each other regularly that I felt the JW’s were a cult and that I was going along with it to “keep the peace” with my family but I did not plan on living out my life a JW. In the same conversation I told her that I did have feelings with her and that I could see us having a future together BUT I was an open and honest person and I wanted her to know that before anyone said the “R” word. She replied asking me what my doubts were and I laid it allllll out. From 1900-2005 one thing after another. I tried not to get too detailed for fear of scaring her away but with every point I brought up she just nodded and said “yep I read that too.” We talked then looked at JWFacts.com and compared that stuff to the WT Library and it was obvious what decision we needed to make.
So as it turns out she was pioneering not because she wanted too but because that was the only way her parents would let her live with them while she went through college. That is a true story. She couldn’t find a job that had the hours/pay that was enough to pay rent where she lived and she couldn’t find a roommate that she could tolerate living with so she did it for her parents.
We made mad passionate love that night for the first time together.
That conversation happened in June and we were married the following January. We continued to play the game with the witnesses not so much because we cared about being DF’d but rather we wanted wedding gifts. I wanted to DA before our wedding but she insisted that we get SOMETHING other than heartache and shunning out of our years of loyal service so we moved from our home town not long after we were married and never checked into the congregation in our new town. We refused to do a Witness wedding however, as we were having sex a couple times a day lol. We ended up getting a venue instead of even opening the can of worms that is having a wedding ceremony in a KH. We had a relative do the talk, walked down the aisle to a kingdom melody and after that, the DJ took over. We both have a letter of disassociation signed and dated along with my “blood card” in the envelope with my will and my non WT DPA/Will. We simply went off the grid.
Your case is significantly less complicated as she is not baptized and has major doubts already and you don’t seem to care about anything witless related. I would simply lay it on the line with her. Tell her you want to be with her and you would like to see if it really turns into love (trust me buddy, it may feel like love now but it’s not love yet). Date for a few months, then move in with each other… and then if you guys don’t want to kill yourselves after living together for a few months… you can take it wherever you want.
The point is, if you allow the elders to insert “Jehovah” into your relationship you may as well let the elders take a turn with her in bed too. This is YOUR life. This is YOUR relationship. This is YOUR future. You both need to make a level headed and clear minded decision.
When the time comes, let us know where you are registered. I will gladly send you a wedding gift!
