Posts by MegaDude

47

saved at a Promise Keepers convention

by Princess in

jw
friends

my husband and i have a friend who credits the lord with every good thing that happens in his life.

he is really a nice guy, unmarried, no kids and is now in remission from non hodgkins lymphoma (again, credit to the lord).

what do you think about people who credit the lord for every good thing that happens to them?

MegaDude

Hi Princess,

you said:
It doesn't make sense to me that a loving god would take a child from it's parents or parents from a child because it was part of his plan.

This is one of the things I brought up in a Sunday school Bible study myself. The conductor sheepishly admitted that God didn't "take" anybody, especially a child, in death to be with him. He said it was just a saying that had wormed it's way into church thinking.

I struggle with the doctrine of Jesus. I'm still reading and studying that topic. I do know that Jesus could have cared less about the mountain of doctrine that his church had back in his day. Didn't he say, love God with your whole heart, mind and soul, and love your brother as yourself? That's real Christianity in my opinion. Not faith in a myriad interpretations of scripture.

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

62

What R U Reading lately?

by Tina in

jw
friends

i'm interested in finding out what everyone is reading these days.. or what books have had an impact on your worldview since leaving the org.. what have you found helpful in re-constructing and broadening the way you think and feel?.

what have you found to be particularly enlightening on 'your journey?'.

thanks in advance,luv to all.tina.

MegaDude

Stephen King's "Hearts in Atlantis"

Jolan Chang's "The Tao of Love and Sex" (Ladonna recommended this one highly.)

Just finished: "The Last Dive," true scuba story; Rich Dad Poor Dad.
Excellent book about making money.

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

25

Happy Df'ing Anniversary to me!!!!!

by VeniceIT in

jw
friends

i can't belive it's been a whole year!!!!.

last year on oct 3rd, i was at home with my parents eating dinner.

we of course were not at the meeting .

MegaDude

Congrats, Venice!!!!!!!!!!!!

You gave me an idea. I think from now on I'll be celebrating a different kind of "Memorial." Happy anniversary and pass the wine, please. I will be partaking!!!!

46

POLL: Occupations

by Angst in

jw
friends

as a witness what occupation did/do you hold?.

i was speaking with a friend of mine that is a former witness and we remarked about how many of us have worked in some sort of janitorial work.

MegaDude

What a retro memory this thread is taking me on. LOL.

Everyone -- and I mean everyone -- in my old congregation were janitors, and I did that work too growing up. I cleaned butcher shops, movie theaters, and stripped and waxed more floors than I care to remember. It taught me a great truth about life: I didn't want to be a janitor.

Went to the court reporting school, although the local PO yelled at me that I was "throwing my life away" in front of the whole congregation. These days I'm doing well in my field, and was offered full partnership/ownership in the firm I work at in Dallas, Texas.
Although court reporting is not the career I would have chosen if I had been encouraged to combine my passions and interests with education, it's a helluva good job and beats swabbing out toliets any freaking day of the week. :)

11

For those of you who attend a church

by closer2fine in

jw
friends

i was raised a jw & left when i was 19. my husband went to a few different churches growing up (catholic, methodist etc) but he doesn't really consider himself a member of any particular denomination.

he considers himself a christian, although he isn't sure what he believes or if he believes in the bible as god's word.. i have run from any type of organized group that is controlling.

i don't know if i believe in god, or the bible as anything more than a series of stories with life lessons in them.

MegaDude

1.) What church do you attend?

Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas (claims to be Southern Baptist but comes across as non-denomination extreme.) The minister doesn't wear a suit, he encourages everyone to dress nice casual (shorts are fine.) and the music is mainstream Christian to heavy metal Christian.
Took some getting used to but I could never go back to those Kingdumb Melodies. LOL!!!!

2.) How did you decide?

I was looking for a place that had good Sunday school Bible studies, inspired me to stay on my spiritual walk, and to have community with people with a similar mindset. I wasn't disappointed.

3.) What is required of you as a member?

I haven't joined in any official capacity. Can't say I ever will.
Don't feel any need to.

4.) Do you believe in all of the teachings? Do you have to?

Absolutely not. There are a number of traditional church doctrines that after years of studying I still can't accept because I don't believe the Bible teaches them (i.e. eternal hellfire for the wicked, once saved always saved) But nobody really cares because there isn't a rigid standard of belief enforced. The main thing they care about is that you have accepted Christ as your savior. I find the atmosphere there very free after the JW experience. Of course, you can run into churches (especially Southern Baptist) where you will meet fundies who will remind you of Dubs. I ignore these types.
Avoid churches where the minister is of the same mindset.

The main difference I cannot stress enough is that going to church is enjoyable in contrast to the excruciating bordom of JW meetings.

You may have to shop around some to find a good one.

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

23

We are forgetting something.

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

those of us who are no longer jw's were jw's at one point in time, correct?.

we all know for a fact that 95% of jw's do care - so much - that they endure mosquitoes, heat, cold, fire ants, rabid dogs, loss of personal income, spend their free time dedicated to helping others, and much much more to help assholes who hate them to help save their lives.. please - do not carry anger towards these people, because we were once like them (blind.

) it is not their fault they are wrong - because at one point in time we were all like them.

MegaDude

Hello, Sean.

You said:

This does not work in my case. I am given no room to question anything under any circumstances. They assume I have an alterior motive and such a backdoor approach is fended off with "I don't want to talk about that".
______________________________

Yes, this is the way my JW relatives reacted to me for some time. Of course, I had been constantly bringing up my disagreements about the Watchtower and they came to expect it since I brought the topic up every time I was around them. Sometimes I was very aggresive and harsh. After I DA'd, the subject of religion, must less conversation lasting more than five minutes, was forbidden. They refused to speak to me about it because of my official label. I stopped bringing it up. As time has gone on, and they have relaxed somewhat, I've changed my strategy and bring it up in the form of a question. Like last week I saw my mom when visiting my dad and I said, "I've heard the Society doesn't disfellowship you if you take a blood transfusion anymore. Is that true?" She didn't know. I asked her, "Could you please find out for me if it is true and ask your elders? I'd really like to know since that's one of the reasons I left." She said she would, and she looked genuinely disturbed by what I had asked. Then I dropped it and moved on to other topics. She relaxed and we had an enjoyable conversation about other things than religion. It's like spoon feeding. Give them a little bit at a time instead of the whole enchilada.

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

23

We are forgetting something.

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

those of us who are no longer jw's were jw's at one point in time, correct?.

we all know for a fact that 95% of jw's do care - so much - that they endure mosquitoes, heat, cold, fire ants, rabid dogs, loss of personal income, spend their free time dedicated to helping others, and much much more to help assholes who hate them to help save their lives.. please - do not carry anger towards these people, because we were once like them (blind.

) it is not their fault they are wrong - because at one point in time we were all like them.

MegaDude

Tallyman,

I agree there's no way to wake a zombie up quietly. However, in dealing with JW family and friends, it's rare that an aggressive stance is very effective. Since JWs are primarily controlled through fear, you need to gain rapport with them in a non-threatening manner.
Otherwise, their Watchtower shields come up on full and none of your good information gets through. That's been my experience anyway.

In dealing with JWs, I have found the best way to open a dialogue and keep lines of communication open is simply to keep asking questions. I put all the burden of *proving* the truth squarely on the JW. By asking questions, the hapless Dub feels duty-bound to answer them. (Me: I don't understand. How can it be the truth when you said in your literature...(fill in the blank) I've introduced all sorts of "apostate" information to Jehovah's Witnesses that they read because they felt I wasn't trying to convince them of anything. I let them feel in control. You'd be amazed how you can lead them right down a *planned path* of logic by simply feeding them questions.

23

We are forgetting something.

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

those of us who are no longer jw's were jw's at one point in time, correct?.

we all know for a fact that 95% of jw's do care - so much - that they endure mosquitoes, heat, cold, fire ants, rabid dogs, loss of personal income, spend their free time dedicated to helping others, and much much more to help assholes who hate them to help save their lives.. please - do not carry anger towards these people, because we were once like them (blind.

) it is not their fault they are wrong - because at one point in time we were all like them.

MegaDude

Andi said:

Somedays I feel strong enough to face the reality of my brainwashed JW family. Other days I'm not, so I don't. Doesn't make me a bad person. Just human.

I feel the same way about the JW members of my family. There are times that, despite the fact they shun me, I can still be kind to them when I happen to run into them. Other times when I find it best not to say anything because the only thing coming out of my mouth would be angry words. There was a time I was only too happy to get nose to nose with them and unleash the full extent of my feelings and what I know about their cult religion right to their faces. While it was gratifying in obvious ways, it was ultimately very dissatisfying. I didn't get what I wanted, which was a close relationship with them. Nor did I position myself well as someone who would be safe to ask questions of should they begin to question the validity of the Watchtower in the future. Jesus words of "Love your enemy" hit home for me after doing it "my way." If you don't, how are you really any different than the JWs?

Time has passed and it doesn't sting as much when months have gone by without a word from my JW relatives. (They live 10 minutes from me.) When I see them, I tell them I miss them, I love them, how I wish things were different so we could be close again. And as time has passed, and they know I won't put them on the defensive and argue with them everytime I see them, they have said the same thing to me.
It's an improvement. What it will lead to in the future between us, who can say?

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

23

We are forgetting something.

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

those of us who are no longer jw's were jw's at one point in time, correct?.

we all know for a fact that 95% of jw's do care - so much - that they endure mosquitoes, heat, cold, fire ants, rabid dogs, loss of personal income, spend their free time dedicated to helping others, and much much more to help assholes who hate them to help save their lives.. please - do not carry anger towards these people, because we were once like them (blind.

) it is not their fault they are wrong - because at one point in time we were all like them.

MegaDude

Moe,

A man I know who was never a Witness, and whose wife became a Witness
came to the same conclusion you did after years and years. He told me, laughing, "Kill the JWs with kindness and love. It drives them absolutely crazy."

The elitist mentality of the JWs really makes them believe foolishness like they can be the only happy people, or the only real spiritual people, or the only truly loving people. When you demonstrate to JWs by your actions and behavior you have already have a life that has surpassed them in happiness, love and spirituality, you are giving them the greatest anti-Watchtower sermon ever

"Hope is a good thing... maybe the best of things."
Andy's letter to Red in the Shawshank Redemption

"If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia."
Richard Bandler, radical NLP therapist

20

Why JWs and ex JWs Return to Watchtower

by Victor_E in

jw
friends

with recent events of the wtc bombing some ex jws and inactive jws are returning to meetings and all the customary rituals.

some wonder what could drive such individuals to do such irrational acts.

i will outline some of the factors and i admit that it could be one or more or none of these because in the final analysis only the individual person knows why.. fear: as jws we were programmed to have a pervasive fear of a god that was punitive and blood thirsty with his creatures.

MegaDude

Victor,

if people join a religion to transcend their humanity, and there are so many religions, and so many people that are religious, do you believe it to be a natural part of human nature to desire to transcend the human experience? If so, why?