yesterday, i had a conversation with my neighbor during which i explained the greatest reason why i wanted to raise my kids out of the jws: the fear (which translate to hate) jws have for everyone showing no interest in becoming part of their group.
in order for him to quickly relate to what i meant i asked him to imagine, for a moment, he was the biggest racist he has ever known, forced to live in a black neighborhood.
how would you feel?
Very nice thought experiment. I wonder what other kinds of imaginary situations would be able to set up those important parallels---constant fear, over-thinking, analyzing unimportant details, and the incredible depletion of executive function to keep up the hating. Thinking of anyone else as "other" helps objectify people/groups.
Do you think that your neighbor got a good sense of why you are reluctant to expose your children to such restrictive thinking?
for a long time, i was convinced jehovah witnesses were just people preaching the word of god in a different way than other christians.
i was shown the real truth over the past few months.
i've been friends with this guy for over 5 years.
My heart breaks for you.
No matter how this turns out, you will never be the same due to the awful things you are seeing. Your narrative highlights your hurt and confusion and no one can blame you for that! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, or a course of action that would guarantee a good outcome. Time will tell.
You are right. It is more than a religion and so, sadly, I have to say that I agree with those who counsel that you should run for your life. You do not have to meet with any of them. There is no win for you to meet with them. I feel so bad for you and honestly, I feel bad for your ex. His buttons are being pushed and it looks like he's not ready to run yet. Such unnecessary sadness.
my wife's parents are in a bad way.
she went to visit and her mother has alzheimer and father has a hart condition.
they are jws and he quit his job at gm many years ago for 1975. he moved to where the need was great to wait for the end.
Your worry about how your wife is going to hold up is a wonderful trait to have! So admirable! If you are able to support her, just emotionally, it will go a long way. Others here have posted excellent suggestions on reasonable paths to explore. Certainly, that disability qualification should be addressed again and again. Parents may be eligible for services and not know about it. Filing paperwork and making calls may be the kind of help your wife can give without too much stress. But you and she must discuss it and be quite clear as to what "help" means and how much is too much!
This is such a terrible situation--no winners here. More and more, there will be exJWs who will be helping out parents and other relatives who did not plan ahead. Good for you for making plans ahead of time for your retirement. You should not be guilt-ed into compromising it for ANYone!
Good luck.
glad it isn't the 1200's...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbtad2c08xu3-25-89 to 9-10-15.. today is my two year shuniversary since they executed me for apostasy..
Congratulations! Sharing your "good news" helps everyone in the forum. It's good to have some personal goals and it looks like you have nailed down some of yours!
so like a week or 2 ago i got mad a my bible teacher and we started to debate a little.look i now that was a dumb move but im not a the best point in my life and my angry is not in the best control.
so little did i know i had a family member was listening.
so the family worship we had turned to convince me that the jw life is the best life.. after that my life is turning into shit as of now i have been having depression and now its 2x as bad..
The balancing act you are now required to display is tough for anyone. There were some pretty hairy times with my family as I was learning to question things--and you will have to decide when to be silent and when to speak up. I don't think it's ever easy to know WHEN to do WHAT. We really care for you here on this site and we want you to be successful, so we give advice in hopes that you can endure this without too much bitterness and resentment toward your family. You are on the right track. Just forgive yourself when you think you've overstepped and give yourself a pat on the back at the same time!
Your burden is a wonderful one--at least you KNOW now, and your mind is not under someone else's control. You KNOW! They are misguided loved ones who think that they know what's best for you...be gentle with them as you can. They can never take away what you already know. Best of luck to ya, Kid48.
what a journey!.
it was a year ago today that i was announced from the platform by brother paul "twofaced" castley that i was "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".
i didn't go to that meeting to hear the announcement because i already didn't believe the watchtower religion.. how was my first year?
Congratulations on a year of hard work, but inestimable rewards! May your voice be the calm and rational voice of love that your daughter will hear whenever she has need...you will be right there with her.
so as of july 2nd my wife delivered by c-section our little one pound, three ounce daughter izabella.
it was a very scary night that started with a decel and turned into multiple decels that greatly concerned the doctors.
by early morning they felt the need to take her for her safety.
Beautiful little daughter and beautiful name. All the best to you and your (strong) missus as you navigate this next few weeks! What a treasure...thank you so much for posting.
mrs phizzy voted for the first time today !
we have been out for nearly a decade now, but this is the first time mrs phizzy has been persuaded to vote.. she was always afraid that jw's would see her, and then df her for it, i explained (again, we have been over this before) that they would not do so, and my son had a word in her ear too, which did the trick.. she came out of the polling station and said to me "i voted for someone called teresa may, who is she ?".
trying to wind me up, but i knew the wicked witch of westminster was not on our ballot sheet.
Yes, DOC, I agree that there seem to be just a few acid tests of independence. And voting is certainly one of those (along with burning the card and skipping communion!). Another poster (pale emperor) asked about indoctrinated guilt surrounding the action of voting. I'm so proud of Mrs. Phizzy! And of the pale one! It's not easy to take your place in this world when you've been conditioned repeatedly to view any of these actions as being grounds for DEATH. So many have awakened and are so strong. Well done indeed.
there is alot if press here in australua on the royal commission about child abuse in the jw faith.
however that is just one type of abuse, abuse can be physical or mental, we tend to forget about the various types of mental abuse in the jw faith.
my story is not unique and apologies for grammar etc.. my father and mother emigrated to perth australia many decades ago when i was very young.
Welcome to the forum here, Welcome! Two items for thought: 1) You are 100% correct about the different types of abuse. Sweetie, it breaks my heart to hear about your pain. 2) You will be able to help others with your clear messages to "think twice" about joining up and "do not abandon any friends or family." Your experience has been a harsh teacher, but you are safe to vent here and to explore your many options for the future. It will get better. It will get better...just as Sylvia says, when you begin this very day to live the life YOU want for yourself. Please let us know what we can do to help you on your journey of peace.
This graph perfectly sums up the borg's way (and any other cult, for that matter) of blaming the victim. If you are leaving, it is YOUR fault. If you are abused, YOU must have done something wrong. OMG, we are so good at that and internalize it so readily! GOOD ONE!
