I'm an awake elder begrudgingly still serving simply trying to play my cards right with the wife. Timing is important. My fade so far is just getting off the service committee and off the fast track to being a COBE. Can you imagine? So much for holy magic.
The wife enjoys the status of not just being a plain Jane publisher. I must admit it has it's perks - like not being messed with by elders. Elders are scared of other elders. It's weird. Unless you have a real a$$ on your hands, you can get away with a lot as an awake elder. Hard as hell to give comments or parts though. I edit out so much material, there is hardly anything left to talk about.
Anyway, the wife is full-in but I think she doubts more than she leads on. I have dumped ttatt on her a couple of times. This last episode led to a crying fit and her throwing things across the room. It's scary when you see stuff come out of your spouse that you have never seen before. The indoctrination is diabolical.
I think something broke in my wife during this last knock-down-drag-out. She hasn't been the same since. It happened a couple of months ago. I referred to accounts in the Bible as just "stories". That was too much too fast. She is actually going to the doctor for meds for anxiety this week. She is blaming other stuff, but I know it's what I have told her (ttatt) combined with the realization that my thinking isn't "coming back around to Jehovah".
Hang in there everybody. We'll survive this. We aren't the crazy ones.