I kind of agree with Baltar. Look.....she should be able to make most of her own decisions......but this is a major one because she is permanently changing her visible features. I realize that no matter what she wants to do as a professional, the size of the damn holes in her ears won't make her any less qualified. But unfortunately we always have and always will live in a biased society. I have trouble seeing her manage a bank, or becoming a pediatrician because of this.
Life isn't always fair. Her having ear stretchers shouldn't make a damn bit of difference to anyone.....but unfortunately it does. And she needs to realize that life is indeed about having fun, making your own decisions and being independent......but along with that comes SOME sort of conformity to cultural norms. If she disregards ALL expectations and norms.....she will be making life a lot harder than it has to be. I would try to reason with her to remove them. Not because its your way or the highway or because she should respect her mom saying "it's my way or the highway" either. But because she realizes that such a decision can affect her professional career forever. Maybe she'll respect your reasoning and see taht you want her to remove them.....not for control issues.....but out of concern for her future. And maybe this will make her want to move in with you.