Posts by Peony

77

Trying To Leave - Im Going Crazy

by pale.emperor in

this is my first post.

i really feel i need to leave the jw's rather than go along pretending everything is perfect etc.

no friends, me at work.

Peony

Pale Emporer

What a sad story, I really feel for you. At the point you need love and support instead you get hassle. It's all too familiar I'm afraid. It's the lack of love that may wake your wife up. My husband and I dissociated last year, we couldn't take the lack of love and double standards. My Father in law elder criticised everyone too, he once said 'if there was one person I would love to have disfellowshipped it would have been*****' I couldn't believe it. I told him it was a terrible thing to say! It didn't stop him carrying on criticising though. That's when I knew I couldn't have a relationship with him anymore......too toxic. We started to see our life was ok and the only time we had problems was when JW's were involved. Hopefully they will carry on being a nightmare, your wife will soon want to leave (short term pain for long term gain) it's a really hard road but trust me it will be worth it.

41

Disfellowshipped for celebrating Xmas?

by Theburstbubble in

i could really do with some advice on what's acceptable when you leave.

we have left of our own accord about 6 months ago.

we didn't celebrate xmas this year but have just celebrated my daughters birthday.. a friend of mine who is still a witness told me that an elder had approached her and asked if we had celebrated xmas and that if we did it was a df offence as is classed as apostasy!

Peony

Hello Theburstbubble

My husband and I had left for just over 2 years when we got a text from the elders saying they had reports that we had celebrated Christmas. My husband had been an elder. I think it definitely depends on your local body, a couple who left at the same time as us in a neighbouring congregation (he was an elder too) celebrated straight away, lights and all and were left alone. We waited 2 years before we put lights up and they came after us. Celebrating Christmas is not a disfellowshipping offence but they say by celebrating you have disassociated yourself because you have affiliated yourself with an organisation that is contrary to Gods Kingdom. The irony is the Governing body did the same thing being members of the UN!!!! It's in the green organised book. It's also the reason when questioned by the Australian Authority the GB member said it was not his understanding that people get disfellowshipped for celebrating Christmas........no they are automatically classed as disassociated........very sneaky!

We ended up disassociating ourselves so we could get on with our lives......for us it was the best decision we've ever made even though we have lost family. A year down the line I now have skin cancer and hoping none of them come to visit, I don't want to go through the pain of them coming back into my life to leave yet again when I hopefully get better xx Good luck with whatever you decide to do xxx

194

For the Supporters of Those Who Love Jehovah

by lovesjehovah in

jw
friends

i am jehovah's witness, despite some of the questionable teachings, crimes, and other outlandish behaviors of specific people affiliated with the religion.

i know that my relationship with jehovah is not influenced by any outside factors.

i do not condone any crime.

Peony

I think you'll find that the current Jehovahs Witnesses on this site are trying to get out unscathed..........so as not to lose family through Disfellowshipping/disassociation. I will be amazed if you find any happy current Jehovahs Witnesses!! You're on the wrong site.

23

Halloween / Birthday celebration

by River Song in

new to the board, first time posting a topic.

i just wanted to say how refreshing and sometimes funny it has been lurking here.

so much so that i decided to sign up to this message board.

Peony

Hi River

We're having fun too.......it's my hubbys birthday today as well. This is our first year doing Halloween. Bit weird how excited I get when the doorbell goes, used to hide away!!!! Enjoy your evening x

49

New member checking in

by Old Major in

jw
friends

been reading for about 2 and a half years, thought i would take the plunge and sign up.. my circumstances... i live in uk, serving as ms. i am fully awake.

i can not leave due to family, so just treating the meetings as a bit of a social club.

i would like to give out more details, but i think you all know the drill.. complete disillusionment and i suppose natural curiosity woke me up.. don't know what else to say right now, just hello, and i hope to get to know some of you guys better.

Peony

Hello Old Major

Welcome. I must say your tactic sounds like a good one, best of luck.

Oxfordshire

138

My Mother Died Two Weeks Ago

by Perry in

jw
friends

none of my jehovah's witness relatives called to tell me or my family.

just found out this morning.

Peony

How very sad, where is their fellow feeling? I'm glad your last memory of your mum was a positive one. I'm sure she would have wanted them to tell you straight away. Sending love to your family x

7

Religious Non-Profits Alaska No Longer Tax Exempt?

by blondie in

jw
friends

http://www.alaskahighwaynews.ca/dawson-creek/churches-non-profits-worry-about-changes-to-property-tax-exemptions-1.2071538.

the city currently exempts 2.19 per cent of its annual tax revenues, a total of around $318,000 in foregone income.

a policy brought forward by city staff would cap exemptions at one per cent of revenues, or around $159,299.

Peony

"Representitives from eight religious groups packed Council Chambers". Funny that they're happy to join forces with other religions when it comes to money!

15

A question for the shunned re: hide or seek

by dubstepped in

so here's my question as a newly daed person that is summarily shunned.

do you hide from family and act like you don't exist or do you let them know you're still here and seek them out?

they want you to be dead, like you no longer exist, because strict avoidance makes it easier on them.

Peony

Hi Dubstepped

We DA'd in March and decided that it is not us that has changed so we sent an anniversary card to my husbands parents, of course on our anniversary we received nothing! We did feel though that we had the higher ground. I understand you not wanting to cause upset (it was something we worried about too) ultimately they are being told that shunning is right and as long as they have no contact they will think doing the 'right thing' is not so bad. We want to remind them that we are still here, it might not be easy for them but it also might help them wake up. We decided to always write 'we are always here for you' on everything we send. A friend of ours who left JW's and was an elder at the time left because he shunned someone face to face and felt so bad about it. Those still in may be mind controlled but they are still human and if faced with having to shun or not reply to cards etc we can hope the human side will win. Xx

23

They're coming to get me! =)

by Mrs. Eden in

hello friends.

my fleshy sister is seriously getting to my nerves.

she's my only (and younger) sister, and as you know, is married to an uber-circuit overseer.

Peony

I was depressed when i stopped going to meetings, when family asked I used to say that the meetings were hard for me because I'd go and be 'encouraged' to do more meetings/field service and as at that point I was struggling to get out of bed the meetings made me feel so guilty....... Kept that going for 2 years then DA'd x

14

Education is 'HARD', first test after 27 years

by The Marvster in

well, in an effort to completely rebel against all things 'watchtower', i decided that since i gave all my years since leaving school to the borg, and listened to their admonition to avoid 'higher education' i have just started... right from bottom.... today i took a 2 hour maths test to see if i would be eligible to go on a course to re-take my gcse maths exam (this is the qualification you study for here in england in the last 2 years of compulsory schooling from ages 14-16).

back in may 1988 i did no revision, and didn't study hence a complete flop of all exams.... and seeing that 'education' wasn't on the agenda back then, and has always been warned against, (unless it was perhaps trade oriented) it was wiped from my mind... yep a jw mind-wipe occurred here, i've decided to go back to school, just for the challenge of it, f**k the org, i might have wasted decades swallowing their philosophy, but i don't have to let that past control me now... the test was 'really' hard going... and i don't think i passed, but can still get on a more basic course to start me off if i don't get on the main course.... the tutors were so warm and enthusiastic about me taking up the study at aged 43, it was so nice to hear someone get excited that i'm going to study (never in 29 years with the borg) .

i've also learned something else; jw's talk about the 'highest education' that the watchtower supposedly teaches... bullshit, that 'call and response' crap that you do in watchtower study and other meetings, that parroting, has got to be the lowest form of education there is, you don't use your brain, you don't have to analyse or think or deduce or calculate, or use savvy... it's just call and response, and nothing more, pure repetition, answer what's in the paragraph.

Peony

First thing I did when I stopped going to meetings was enrol with The Open University on a bookkeeping course. Like you 'The Marvster' I had shocking school results but didn't care (after all I was going to get a job cleaning and pioneer)! I found I loved studying the course when I got in the swing of things but then I suppose my attitude to education had changed. Good luck and keep going you will feel a great sense of achievement. I'm also in the UK near Oxford. X