Hi OP,
Female exjw here. Bit of background, 32yrs+ in cult, married 41yrs. 2 daughters 35 + 33. Husband like yourself a non-believer and due to work tolerated meeting attendance and assemblies etc until they turned 16. I accepted this because I was convinced they'd come to love Jehovah. They didn't.
Mess of life. ( 2 daughters ). Suicide attempts, multiple sexual partners, alcohol abuse. You name it. I've shredded the t- shirt. I plodded on stoically. Bought the script from R&F etc. Fast forward. All 3 of us out. De-programming gradually.
We were chatting the other day and youngest said. " at least I only wasted 4yrs, and my older sister just 2". I was, hmmm. I ruined their emotional development from baby/toddler stages of life with the cult crap. I have to live with this in addition to my own struggle. They're happy they're free. "Get over it mum" attitude. Life's too short bla bla.
You just have to play this intelligently. Maybe your wife will discover TTATT.