Two quick observations, cofty. First, your explanation for the very low retention rates is basically bad catechesis by atheist parents and a suggestion that some significant number of those who are categorized as atheists in the Pew study have categorized theselves improperly. I don't much like either of those explanations.
In the second case, Pew seems to have been pretty careful about this study, which goes back several years. Categories of self-selection don't seem to have limited choice very much -- we see the option for "nothing in particular," for example. Moreover, whatever problems might exist with weakly-attached atheists messing with the numbers must also apply to lots of other religious groups: there are very many weakly-attached Catholics.
The point about bad atheist catechesis is interesting, and I have seen in offered on this thread before. What I would suggest is that even good atheist catechesis is bad atheist catechesis. By that is just mean the central claims of atheism are a little, uh, wibble?
For example, you keep making this point: " Your need for a greater reality does not make it so - its just your story that helps you deal with life." True, but what you don't seem to grasp is that my need ofr greater reality also doesn't make it untrue. I may need to believe Spain have won the Euro Cup -- that doesn't make it either true or else false, it has no bearing on the fact. That makes a significant number of atheist statements about the matter entirely beside the point. Theists are bad people, theists merely need a crutch to face reality, theists aren't rational thinkers, etc. All of those things may be true, but none of them have any bearing on the question of the existence of God.
So why does a critical thinker like you keep bringing them up?
I think this points to another weakness in the atheist approach, one that becomes more obvious to those who were raised atheists instead of those who converted to the cause.