Posts by StephanieH

18

A Typical Witnessing Letter from JW Family

by mummatron in

thought i'd share this as this is a typical example of the kind of letters i get very occasionally from my jw family.

in this instance it was sent as my daughter had spent some time in hospital.

note, very little information in terms of family news.

StephanieH

I actually have been able to keep some contact over the years with my mom. We finally got to see each other for the first time in over six years a couple month ago, although she has never 'recovered' from her life as a JW I am trying to help her along my way, we keep contact and plan to see each other in the near future (we have both moved away from where I grew up).

Inside everyone of us, uniquely designed, we all have strength to go through the worst of time. Everyone keeps saying how brave I am, how strong I am, but I know there must be some reason I managed to find this strength. I was always the shy one who didn't speak up nor take up for myself. Now somewhere I found courage, mostly through seeking, reading anything I can get my hands on, and in my case therapy has been a great help.

And I completely know what you mean having friends like sisters. As the youngest of in my family, my two real sisters and one step sister(who was also df'ed) my step sister is more of a sister than my real sisters and I have some wonderful friends who are like sisters to me, even a mother or two. Hold onto those who truly love you, the ones who stand by your side. I lost sight of that for a while and still need reminders at times. The people who love you most and who are willing to stand beside you when times are tough, that is your true family.

This To Shall Pass as an old friend of mine would I know be telling me right now. Hang tough, I think most here understand us.

18

Need your shunning experiences, written or on video

by jwfacts in

i have added a new page at http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/experiences/shunning-experiences.php with short experiences from people who have been shunned.

i would like more to add.

please feel free to post comments on how you are being treated and the affect it is having on their lives.

StephanieH

I left about six months ago from the JW's even though I had no where to go I had to get out. I was so ashamed of living a lie and most of all lying to my family. My oldest sister who for the most part raised me has been the one who I've found being shunned by hurts the most. When I left I had to stay in a shelter for a short while and since I am from a small town I pretty much had to stay at the shelter until I found means to move.

At first I lied to my sister because I wasn't sure how to tell her where I was or that I was not only leaving our fathers home but also their religion. My sister is 31, she married in 'the truth' and has three beautiful children. Her kids have been my world since the day I found out she was going to have her first son. He is almost 8 now, his younger brother is about to be 4, and their baby sister is 2. My sister, once I finally told her that I was leaving the JW's, lost it as I explained to her why I was leaving. It came down to one thing in her eyes, not all of the wrong that we had both watched go on for years within several congregations, she simply could not get over the fact that I finally came out and told her that I was gay.

She went on the typical JW rant on how wrong homosexuality is and how I should simply erase those thoughts and marry a nice brother. Since then I have only heard from her twice. I send her a text message and call about once a month trying to get word. She has only responded twice in six months! It is always short and sweet. I simply asked how they were holding up in some recent bad weather, once when we had snow in Feb. the other was a few weeks ago when I found that a tornado hit near by where she lives. She simply replied that they were fine and that they had passed the mini carnival in town and the kids asked about me (this broke my heart because it was the first she'd mentioned the kids since I left and I always took them to the carnival.) In tears I texted her back then called both her cell and home phone left her messages all evening until I cried myself to sleep.

We had always been so close and her kids were like my own. My heart is broken. Being told how horrible of a person I am, how worthless, and that I could no longer see or speak with my nephews and neice has been the biggest of all daggers in my heart. The one I looked up to my whole life now looks at me in shame, she simply turned her back and took her kids (my world) away with her.

18

A Typical Witnessing Letter from JW Family

by mummatron in

thought i'd share this as this is a typical example of the kind of letters i get very occasionally from my jw family.

in this instance it was sent as my daughter had spent some time in hospital.

note, very little information in terms of family news.

StephanieH

I can understand how you feel on this one. When I left back in Dec. up until a month or so ago my father would call me every Saturday and try to get me to talk to him and the elders. After months of this it only made it harder for me to let go. I finally started ignoring the calls, but he wouldn't give up. So I started answering once again, but I began throwing information of my own in each time, he didn't know how to respond when I put my new education to good use.

As much as I miss my family, even thought they were never much of one, I know it is best for now to keep my distance. Even though I am still freshly out of the JW's I know for my own good not to put up with the constant taunting. I made my father and other family members agree that if they call it is strictly buisness and if they start preaching I hang up. They haven't called since the elders finally took the hint and disfellowshiped me after six months.

I has started to get easier already. And as a new comer to JWN the few days I've been here have helped me already. Now at least I know that, even though the JW cult turned my family and 'friends' away, I am not alone. Neither are you!

I have found also that family isn't always who shares your blood, or who you have grown up around.. We, in many ways, can creat new families. I have started mine with friends who have taken me in. I know our real families can never be replaced, but I would rather let mine go and move forward with life making my own full of people who accept and love me for who I am.

17

I remember an illustration "something" like this in a talk one time LOL

by therevealer in

my wife stood before me with some items in front of her.

without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full.

i agreed that it was.. she then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar.

StephanieH

That illustration I have heard but actually it was from one of my college professors not an elder. It's sad they can't come up with anything unique and new, seeing as they are a sort of 'chosen people' lol I guess as they keep on with their cover ups they will also still and aply illustrations as well as scriptures as they please!

17

I remember an illustration "something" like this in a talk one time LOL

by therevealer in

my wife stood before me with some items in front of her.

without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full.

i agreed that it was.. she then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar.

StephanieH

I dont recall the mayonnaise/rocks one but I have heard the spring one all to many time... I guess I've started to spring out of control now.. oops lol. I have to admit I was pretty good at tuning out the meetings without anyone noticing. I always hated the spring illustration because I felt, when I moved in with my dad and his new wife, my spring was held a bit too tightly then put inside a box and locked away! Ugh, how I don't miss those dreadfull talks with the illustrations that they drag out and over use.

46

I love gays :)

by freeflyingfaerie in

some of my favorite people are~.

after leaving the religion, my lesbian couple friends were the most compassionate people, and i will always love them!.

i am heterosexual, but find gays to be absolutely fabulous!!.

StephanieH

As a lesbian just 'out of the closet' I have found that there is way more acceptance and that I am not a horrible discusting abonation as the JW's have told me my whole life. For the first time there is one thing that I am able to except and rejoyce about is that I am openly gay! For years I thought I would be better off dead but once I started going to college I was 'exposed' to more of my kind. lol. It save my life! I thought I shouldn't even bother I was going to be misrable any way that I went about it. If I left the JW's I'd lose my family, and everything I knew. If I stayed I would be the same misrable closeted lesbian who almost married a ministerial servant just because everyone wanted us to get married!

And hey now Freydo, you might want to do you're research or maybe try to be friendly to a few 'gays'. We are no different than any one else. We love the same, we laugh, we live, the only big difference is the completely uncalled for discrimination. I tried to hide 'it' ignore 'it' go completely against 'it' but I am gay and I was born this way.

I have found friends who love me and accept me, most of my coworkers and classmates know, I am very open if someone asks me. The world isnt as unaccepting as I thought it would be coming from the JW cult.

51

I have just left my parents home and the JW's about six months ago and have found it hard to get over.

by StephanieH in

i finally desided to leave the witnesses therefore my family and basicly everyone and everything i had ever known.

i was 19 about to be 20 and i had just finished my first semester at a community college.

i was shocked at the respons of my father and others about me attending college at first they were ok but behind my back they were pretty much betting on my failier.

StephanieH

NewChapter, yes I have managed to keep some contact with my mother over the years dispight the many visits to the 'back room' and disputes with my father and his wife over it. I saw her for the first time in over six years a few months back, sadly she doesn't live close anymore so I'm not sure when we will see each other again, she has been in bad heal from the life she fell into after being dfed she turned to drugs now she has had servral heal issues since 09'.

skeeter, College was one of the steps that helped me make my final stand. I was forced to drop out of high school when I was 15 but I did get my GED after a round with DHS coming out for child neglect/abuse charges (which were dropped once my parents threw out their lies and brought up religious beliefs). I have desided it best to take the summer off so that I can deal with some things and start my healing prossess. I will start back to school in the fall. I am actually magoring in psychology and minoring in sociology so in many ways my 'tough upbringing' will pay off in the end I hope to be able to help others. I know that in time I will heal but there will always be scars from this left behind.

I truly thank each of you for your support. It has at least made today a bit easier and as I continue on I think being a part of this website will be a great help. I have been doing my own research for a few years now secretly before I managed to find my way out of the JW cult. I only wish that some how I could help, if no one else, my older sister and her family to see. Her children mean the world to me, in fact her oldest son has called me mom since he was a baby. I hate to see others go through what I have, but know that I know that I am not alone I feel stronger and I do believe in time I will be able to help other people who have gone through similar trials.

51

I have just left my parents home and the JW's about six months ago and have found it hard to get over.

by StephanieH in

i finally desided to leave the witnesses therefore my family and basicly everyone and everything i had ever known.

i was 19 about to be 20 and i had just finished my first semester at a community college.

i was shocked at the respons of my father and others about me attending college at first they were ok but behind my back they were pretty much betting on my failier.

StephanieH

Tal, thank you it's hard to get past the guilt and thought of it all. I have always asked myself and God what is so wrong with me. It has been hard to realize that it is the JW's who are wrong.

Nic, I think finding people near by who are exjw's would be a great help but I'm not sure where to find them. I live in a small town that is surrounded by a bunch of other small towns.

Mag, thanks and no I haven't joined any websites for children of alcoholics but I have friends as well as cousiling that I go to that have helped me to deal with that. I myself have had trouble with alcohol in the past because my parents would practicly force it on me. I have sought out help with that and have been 'sober' for almost a year.

51

I have just left my parents home and the JW's about six months ago and have found it hard to get over.

by StephanieH in

i finally desided to leave the witnesses therefore my family and basicly everyone and everything i had ever known.

i was 19 about to be 20 and i had just finished my first semester at a community college.

i was shocked at the respons of my father and others about me attending college at first they were ok but behind my back they were pretty much betting on my failier.

StephanieH

Thank you to everyone for your suport I really was not sure what to expect when I joined. I think it might be a good idea to seek out other exjws near by.

51

I have just left my parents home and the JW's about six months ago and have found it hard to get over.

by StephanieH in

i finally desided to leave the witnesses therefore my family and basicly everyone and everything i had ever known.

i was 19 about to be 20 and i had just finished my first semester at a community college.

i was shocked at the respons of my father and others about me attending college at first they were ok but behind my back they were pretty much betting on my failier.

StephanieH

Snowbird yes I guess I kind of have been put through the wringer over the past few month but I know it will be worth it in time.

Found Sheep I know it will take me a while to deal with this all.

Thankfully I have already been in therapy getting help that way through this even while I was still a part of the organization. I never really understood most of what they taught me growing up because it always seemed to me that my life was one big web of lies and secrets. I just keep hoping that things will get easier. The hardest part of it all was leaving behind my sister and her three kids who have been my world since they were born. I hate knowing how they will grow up, I was the only one who really took care of them when they needed someone and they are still so young. I feel guilty for leaving them behind but I know there is nothing I can do anyway.