Mimilly

Joined

• started 49 topics
• posted 838 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Mimilly

• 
  29

  OK, I was a wuss today.....

  by Mimilly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when i worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home.

  i've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times.

  i have been to the dentist five times in the past month.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  Bitter Mango - ouch! and Double ouch! I applaud you darlin'.

  My oldest, Beth, has her dad's 'perfect' teeth - that is, except for the tiny technicality of horrible wisdom teeth probs. Her's are starting now. My youngest, Shelene, needs braces - she's 18, and has to pay out of her pocket. First she needs an operation to remove a tendon between her front teeth - then braces, then one of her canine teeth needs to be replaced by one of those permanent ones drilled into the jaw. She is having serious probs with her TMJ, so it has to be done. When I get working, I'll be helping her pay that off. Her dental ran out the second she turned 18.

  One way or another - dental work hurts!

  Mulan - I'll be with you holding your hand in spirit! Remember that. (((((((((((((Mulan)))))))))))))

  Mims

  Edited by - Mimilly on 7 August 2002 22:36:46
• 
  29

  OK, I was a wuss today.....

  by Mimilly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when i worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home.

  i've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times.

  i have been to the dentist five times in the past month.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  LB - when it comes to the dentist - I'm a big sissy! I cannot however, imagine having to do what you have to do. I do have coverage up here in Canada - but it ran out and I had to pay out of my pocket for today's torture. I don't know how you 'mericans do it.

  Next time I go to the dentist (next week), I will hear you yelling "Salem's a sissy! Salem's a sissy!" and I'll go "Yes I am! Yes I am!"

  Double Edge - good point. Loss of control. I especially hate those mini pick-ax things they use. Today, as in every visit to the dentist - was an exercize in self-control and the tug of war between panic and relax; panic and relax.

  hugs, Mims.
• 
  29

  OK, I was a wuss today.....

  by Mimilly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when i worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home.

  i've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times.

  i have been to the dentist five times in the past month.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  I have seen my share of horrors in my life; my own; others when I worked on the ambulance and in the funeral home. I've come home covered in someone else's blood and dealt with death on numerous times. BUT.....

  I have been to the dentist five times in the past month. First two were for cleaning. Third was for half my mouth to have the fillings replaced; fourth was for the other half to have my fillings replaced. (all childhood fillings btw). Each time I went I had no less than 15 pokes of that HUGE needle that feels like they're shoving up into your nose or eyeballs, in your gums and the roof of your mouth. At the end of the fourth appointment, my lower back was in spasms due to not laying back and enjoying the whole thing.

  Today was the icing on the cake. Root canal. Very last molar on the upper right that has been causing my ear and sinus infections for approximately a year. First, I went to the family doc to get more antibiotics, cos the last two courses didn't work. I hate antibiotics. Got the prescription filled and didn't have time to take the bus home. I spent two hours contemplating the 'root canal'. I shook so badly, people just kinda looked at me as they walked by. An hour before my appointment I finally walked into said dentist's office and bluntly said "I'm scared shitless, and yes, I mean that - terrified." I was soothed into the waiting room and told to take my valium. I tried to read magazines and my eyes wouldn't take in the words. Another lady there told me that she knew someone who also had worked on the ambulance but couldn't stand papercuts. My jaw hit the floor - cos I can't either. Gaping wounds - hey.. fine... don't even discuss papercuts with me.

  "Salem?" OH GAWD. THIS WAS IT. Because it is in the very top back of my mouth - I had fears of the clampy thing going down my throat. The anything that could go wrong sorta thing. When the assistant asked if I wanted to watch the overhead tv - my dentist answered 'YES'... lol.

  Sigh. It went well. I go back in a week to get a real filling. My jaw hurts from being pried open as far as it can get - amazing how they do that. My dentist told me that she's had firefighters and construction guys come in just as terrified.

  So my question is this: WHY is the dentist SO terrifying to go to? What are your horror stories or worries or hates about the whole thing? I personally didn't mind the needles, except for the abundance of them in the first four visits in a week and a half. (approx: 50 pokes of the damned thing) I thought I would instinctively kick the next person with that HUGE needle. What's the psychology behind this fear? Did we have horrible dentists as children? Does it just seem so friggin midevil?

  do tell - please

  Mimilly
• 
  25

  ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

  i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

  let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  Joannadandy - hugs sweety - and absolutly no pity in those hugs. I know well of what you speak. Just because someone discloses info of that sort, does not mean they need the sympathy response. Sometimes though - just sometimes, I think perhaps it is we who interpret it as pity instead of the validation their responses are meant to be. Validation is good; pity is not.

  Everyone is an individual, hence, each person responds/reacts differently, according to their personality, needs and self esteem. Not everyone needs to share forever and ever amen, if you know what I mean. For others, the more they talk, the more the jigsaw is figured out.

  I talk about it now, because I found I remained quiet due to the whole 'not wanting the pity thing' (which no one needs btw) or to have 'victim' branded on my forehead. (oh gawd, she was on a psych ward - she's nuts! Ah f--k em! It takes strength of a special kind to be honest about what happened and work to respond to life as normal as possible.) People who choose denial are among the least emotionally healthy. This crap finds it's way out, so those in denial will either be self-distructive or project their problems onto others.

  So many have gone through it, and it is in sharing that the healing goes round. If others had not shared, I wouldn't have learned from them - that sort of thing. You have to do what is right for you, and only you know exactly what you need. Just be careful not to take other's well meant hugs etc as pity.

  If anything - surviving the whole thing physically and emotionally is of the highest accomplishment.

  I'm glad you have your writings. My voice was in poetry, sketching, lyrics and piano. You have an outlet, and that's excellent. I'm really glad you posted here Joannadandy. Really!

  huge hugs to you -

  Mimilly

  edited cos tonight I can't spell either

  Edited by - Mimilly on 7 August 2002 21:2:47
• 
  25

  ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

  i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

  let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  James hon - you would be betraying her life if you didn't do something. She would do the same thing if you were in her place (suicidal) and she was trying to help. Just remember that she is not thinking clearly now and the last thing a depressed person wants is the stigma of being on a psych ward. In actuality, the people who seek help are the strong and courageous ones. Some need a big push to get there. I'm really glad she has you.

  Keep in touch James. You're in my thoughts.

  hugs,

  Salem
• 
  23

  HOW MANY HERE HAVE HAD JUDICIAL ACTION?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of the posters here have been in the organization for years.during the time that you have been associated, have you ever had to go before a commitee?

  did you confess to something or were you confronted by the elders?

  were you ever accused of something but it couldn't be proven?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  Yes, confronted, yes, yes.

  I had endless interrogations from those bastards - 3 elders at a time. (hmm not unlike being gang raped each time) My doctor had to put me on tranquilizers due to the extreme stress. They'd show up at my home unannounced, followed me on my EMT course and once they had my husband at the time in tight with the flock - they dumped me and to this day, it was because I wouldn't tell the perverts itty bitty details of being raped.

  No way on God's green earth these people were representing the 'Truth'. If it wasn't for their assaults and that's what it felt like - I may have gone back. Their actions told me clearly from which direction they were from.

  Perhaps we should rephrase the scripture to say "By their questions you will know them"

  Edited to add: I refused to go to the final meeting. They called it the very day I got out of the psych ward even though they were told from higher up to leave me alone for three weeks. The pervs couldn't wait.

  Mimilly of the totally disgusted with elders class

  Edited by - Mimilly on 6 August 2002 22:33:26
• 
  1

  Hey Mimilly

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do me a favor go back and read something i put in the thread we talked in eariler.

  i don't want to put it on the front page.

  peace james

  1. 
• 

  Mimilly

  James - it's done, and I reposted my email addys.

  hugs.
• 
  25

  ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

  i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

  let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  Oh.. James.. regarding my email -

  [email protected]

  or

  [email protected]
• 
  25

  ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

  i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

  let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  James - The most important facet of this is that you know someone is suicidal. When someone is suicidal - you MUST get them to help. I don't care if you have to trick her to do it. I read red flags of considerable warning in your letter. She needs more help than you can give her. I've been where she's at, and I do not think for a second that she will not kill herself.

  She needs to be in a place where she is safe enough to open the floodgates that are drowning her within. She is severely depressed and I'm glad she has you. You may be the only anchor she has to staying 'here'. Before she can deal with rape issues and self esteem issues, she needs to want to live. And yes, I'm completely suggesting that she go into the emergency at the hospital to talk with the nurses and doctors and very possibly - ideally - admittance to a psych ward.

  I had to put myself in the hospital. Actually, others took me, but I shook my head 'yes'. I spent three months in there. I 'had' to live because I had two young girls at home - the anchor to life 'here'. While I didn't have friends or family I could really turn to, I couldn't leave my girls motherless. And that was at a primal level because I had stopped talking - and was suicidal.

  Your cousin doesn't seem to have an 'anchor'. She's not going to want to get help, and she's not going to like going to the hospital - but when it comes down to it James, you keep reminding her that you will remain by her through it all and if you have to - call the cops.

  If she really is determined to take her life - no one can stop her. However I truly believe from what you wrote that she is not unreachable. Instead of reading books - start calling hospitals and police to see what can be done. You are talking about a life here. If she says you lied to her about your word - you say no, i did not - I care about you and I'm going to see you through this. These people will help you, and I'll be there for you.

  James - you seem to be a very caring man and her life right now - is in your hands. If you try to get her help and she kills herself - you did everything you could.

  She's suicidal and severely depressed. Call the hospitals James. Please.

  love Salem
• 
  25

  ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

  by Monster in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

  i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

  let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mimilly

  Monster - you said it must have been hard for me to open up to a stranger about what happened to me. No, it wasn't. I am now in the stage where I can talk about what happened to me without too much internal backlash. That's why I offered my email to you. There are details of my life that I would never ever post here - and not for my sake, but for the chance of triggering someone else.

  Again, my email is open, and I'll answer any of your questions. What I'm finding now is that people asking the questions cannot handle the answers. It seems to work both ways, and the answers will affect the asker.

  Also, remember that both sexes abuse. And btw - Morrisamb is a STRONG man, who's book is being or has been published. I'm extremely proud of him, and can't wait to read a copy.

  hugs n love,

  Mimilly