This one elder knew I'd been abused in the past by more than a few men, as well as my first husband who was eventually welcomed into the fold.
He said, and I remember cos I looked at him as though he had far too many heads to be human, that men could not help themselves around me - in other words, they became my pawns, needed me sexually, that they could not resist the combination of youth/attractiveness combined with maturity beyond my years. He said they couldn't help themselves as far as abusing me or wanting me enough to either covet or actually act on their weakness aka 'me'.
It was all bs. I was being blamed for their abuse of me. Yes, perhaps I was and am a paradox of sorts, being young etc with maturity beyond years, coming out of abuse yet being a loving person blah blah blah.... but it was not my fault; i did not ask for it. ETC.
Maybe some of the brothers, out of guilt, or even the elder himself, had 'thoughts' and they talked. I don't know. I only know what he said to me, and how I was treated. I did not dress in a provocative manner. Where he came up with this.... is anyone's clue.. He was on my DFing commitee though, so maybe the perv thoughts WERE his.
Mim
