Posts by Mimilly

James - Please let me make it very clear that it is not only men who abuse. I was not only abused by men. My childhood is something straight from a nightmare due to my father being the sick jerk he was. (that is quite another story)

As for triggers - you pretty much got it. There are some who cannot be approached from behind - they'll swing. Others, like you said, cannot be touched a certain way, or looked at a certain way. Others yet, during sex, will just freeze. It isn't easy being around someone with these particular issues, but it is worthwhile learning how to respond more productively because every man will come across a rape victim in his lifetime. The Courage to Heal book is a gift to both the abused and those who care about them. I truly suggest you read it.

The JWs believe that if a woman does not scream while being raped - she is guilty of adultry/immorality. They also favor the men, which leaves the women locked in a judicial committee room with three perverts interrogating them.

When I said I won't attract the predators - I meant it. I was raised to never, ever say 'no'. I didn't know how to. I had to learn to say no, and it took awhile, and pervs can spot a vunerable gal. It's like primal nature where the predator seeks out the weak or infirm prey - they're an easy meal. No, I did not deserve it, nor did I want any of it. I simply was raised to never say no, and that at the most basic level, it was what I was for - in the gospel of my father. (you can look some of my story up by doing a search on this site for My story; pieces of me.) I read yours after reading this thread and you gave me a great giggle

I am very familiar with military life. My first husband was in the Canadian Military for nine years - RCDs (tanks) and we were stationed overseas as well as various parts here back home. Unfortunately the military seems to condone and insite that kind of behaviour.

Email me if you want more details. I am now an open book, so ask what you like. However, this forum is not for certain details of my life.

hugs,

Salem

25

ladies/gentlemen..Give me your take on this

by Monster in

jw
friends

ladies i know i shouldn't really hit on this because i have no real understanding of what you go through when you are raped.

i just want to try and understand some of what is going on.

let me ask this q. do you believe that the elders do not want to report the rapes or they are told they cannot report the rapes from the gb?

Mimilly

Monster - interesting nick, and welcome to the board.

I have been raped, more than I care to say, but before the borg, during the borg and after the borg. The next one that tries it - dies, plain and simple by my own bare hands. So much for weak.

During the borg - yeh I was dumb enough to go to the elders. Elder one said that I bewitched men and shouldn't be near them. Yep. He said that. Elder two said I must have wanted it because I didn't scream. (how does one scream while enduring a flashback of one's childhood? - He couldn't answer that one) The 'offending' brother got off on the flashback.

To answer your question on the elders responses - it's simple. It has nothing to do with what is written in the literature and everything to do with picking on an already vunerable person. It's power. They want the goodies - the details, and as many details as possible. They're perverts. They re-rape. They re-punch. They re-choke. THEY are abusers by their very words and actions and/or inactions.

I've worked a great deal of this shit out, and do not smear every man with the same brush. There are triggers everywhere and I know how to react now. (was self-distructive back then) People don't need to cringe around me. I understand why a rape victim would respond that way though.

While I am haunted by my past, I will wade thru emotional wet concrete until the day I die before I let those bastards be the ruin of me. I love men - honestly. And I doubt I will ever be in that situation again, where I will have to tear flesh from his bones, because I have changed so much and am a hell of a lot stronger and confident than ever before. I simply won't attract the predators. I'll scare them.

Lotsa love and appreciation to all the men who give a damn, and also love to those who've been there.

Mimilly/Salem

ps: Monster - for info on how to help or know how to act around an abuse victim, check out The Courage to Heal book at your local library.

Edited by - Mimilly on 5 August 2002 23:41:38

8

In Silence - Lady Lee

by Lady Lee in

father.

in silence he abused me,.

in silence he threatened me to be quiet and not to tell,.

Mimilly

omg. it was all i could do to get to the end of that poem. my heart is in spasms.

thank you for putting into words the life story so many of us know.

Mimilly of the Silent-No-More class

53

Who are animal lovers here??????

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

and no i don't mean the man, the poster animal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

although he is loveable............... i love animals, i have two dogs, a black lab named snoopy and a pug, named pug.

sometimes we call him pig, or dig, or mama's little baby.

Mimilly

I'm with plmkrzy - I like animals more than people. They're honest. It was my dogs who taught me unconditional love.

I have Tjiske (pronounced chiska) - a german sheperd/husky cross. Husky bod with the sheperd smarts and coloring. She's my protector and follows me everywhere. She loves making friends with cats. She's 7yrs old.

There's Diego, my palimino pony i call him. He's part boxer part dane. (looks notta like a boxer) He is my snuggle muffin and often lets me use him for a pillow. He has more expressions than I've ever seen a dog have and he's very vocal. (hilarious when he complains under his breath) Diego is 3 years old.

My orange tabby Beaster - aptly named. He's been with me for 10 years now. We hold paws at night. He has lukemia but is still kickin! (my bed is a regular love fest at night) He has a bent ear (from an earlier abscess) and crooked whiskers. Quite the character.

There's Doodles, our black neurotic cat. He's 6 years old. This dude has jewels for eyes and is afraid of his shadow. He does play with the dogs though.

We've also a silly siamese fighting fish, Princess Suishi, who sleeps in her small castle, either upright or upside down. I've never had a fish with such character before.

In the past I've had an Old English Sheepdog, Nicholas and a Shar-Pei, Buffykin-Star. Also, a guinea pig, Harry; a hamster, Hamlet, and two love birds, Cheech and Chong (i did not name the birds)

They all keep me sane. I will NEVER be without a dog again in my life. The floor show here is fabulous.

I love animals. Absotively Posolutely!!!!

Mimilly

22

Theocratic Warfare at my house part 3, the end

by freeman in

jw
friends

thank you all who responded to my earlier post, i am pleased to say there has been a major development.

just twenty minutes ago i was sitting at the piano and my wife comes up to me and says, "i talked to the brothers, you were absolutely right, i apologize, he (my minor son) will never go to the meetings again".

i sat there in stunned shock both happy and sad at the same time.

Mimilly

After I was Df'd, my husband, who I was divorcing on grounds of abuse (the elders had previously hid me and my girls in a safe house cos of him), would either see or talk to the girls every single day. And every single day, he would quiz them on who is going to live and who is going to die. They had to answer that he was going to live and that I was going to die. My girls at the time were 10 and 8 years old. My youngest came running in the door after one visit screaming "I hate you mommy - I hate you!!". I knew she didn't, and I knew where it was coming from.

I called the PO and let him know what hubby was saying and doing to my girls. I threatened that if it did not stop - I would file charges of abuse against hubby and THEM for allowing it to continue. This elder was super reasonable and hauled hubby to task several times. I never told hubby he couldn't take the girls, unless they told me they did not want to go. I had several talks with both girls - called 'reality checks' in our home about their father's actions and words. (not to demean him in their eyes - but so they could figure out what was going on in their own little hearts - kids are not dumb)

Today they hate the borg. Hubby left after being counselled to death - I guess he thought he was on easy street. (after all - he was in contempt of court for non payment of maintenance and quitting a job at Michelin Tires so as not to pay a dime to the kids, yet was handling the mics) I reminded said elder of this too. I played their own game against them for the benifit of my kids. The reality checks work wonders - so long as there is no dirty stuff being hurled. I reminded them that their father loves them as best he can, and then asked if they thought that Jehovah would approve of what he is saying and doing. I also told them that often when moms and dads separate/divorce, mean things will get said and done to hurt the other one.

Reality checks are great tools with kids of any age. Just taylor it to them. Ask the question and they will get the answer, and above all - remind them that even though mom and dad are arguing, both love them dearly and that it isn't their fault. I said this often. No matter what - that is the thing that has to be said over and over.

Kids are smart. Be honest and respect their feelings.

hugs, Mimilly

48

New Harley, or Kawasaki...hmmmm

by TR in

jw
friends

well, crap.

i want a new harley fxd dyna superglide.

but, then again, a kawasaki vulcan classic is a few thousand $$'s cheaper.

Mimilly

awww Animal - I read it all sweety.

plmkrzy - never let it be said that I am unwilling to try. (btw - we look somewhat alike,except my hair isn't as long) You look great on that bike.

The reasons I don't care for the HD is the noise. My hearing is always on loud, and I often hear things the people around me cannot (and no - it's not the voices talking to me).

So the question is: WHO is going to take me for my virgin ride on a Harley?

lotsa hugs, Mim

Edited by - Mimilly on 1 August 2002 13:30:57

45

Ever lie on your service reports?

by The_Bad_Seed in

jw
friends

*laughing just thinking about it*.

did anybody out there lie on their service reports that they maintained the 'national average' when in reality you got .005 hours of service in any given month?

i magically always used to always get "10" hours out in service, while nobody ever saw me at the groups, no one ever caught on, or seemed not to -- maybe they just didn't give a shit.. i always lied so i could keep my microphone 'privelidges' -- that being, the privelidge to walk around at the back of the hall giving my deflated ass a break from those awful chairs they had.

Mimilly

I was of the round-it-up class. And towards the end I was of the put-the-minimal-down-to-keep-the-elders-away class.

I love this topic - always wondered, although I saw enough of it while out in fs, especially while aux.pioneering. Gotta love those creative ways of stretching the minutes!

Mimilly

48

New Harley, or Kawasaki...hmmmm

by TR in

jw
friends

well, crap.

i want a new harley fxd dyna superglide.

but, then again, a kawasaki vulcan classic is a few thousand $$'s cheaper.

Mimilly

Plmkrzy and animal - just cos I don't like harleys doesn't mean you get to scramble my nick !

It's M i m i l l y or M i m or S a l e m (my real name)

hugs to both (even though I still don't like hogs)

Mimilly, Mim, Salem

edited for spelling

Edited by - Mimilly on 31 July 2002 21:15:12