Mimilly

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Posts by Mimilly

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  6

  Has anyone heard from....

  by Mimilly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sirona?

  i've been lost thinking of her and wondering how the results came back, and how she is doing.

  mimilly

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  Mimilly

  SIRONA? I've been lost thinking of her and wondering how the results came back, and how she is doing.

  Anyone?

  Mimilly
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  39

  So I was put in the back of a police car....

  by Mimilly in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't i!

  i've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late.

  finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead.

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  Mimilly

  Simon and Ang - I don't know what I'd do without this site. It's the best 'home' I've ever had.

  Queenie darlin' - I will be spending Labor Day weekend nursing a cold I probably caught at the hospital. My doctor put me on antibiotics again. I spent last night trying to sleep, but a sore throat and itchy ears just led to a horrible headache by the time the sun rose. However, I am alive, and that is what counts right now. I have to go out today to get dog and cat food. Then I am going to get dressed in the warmest stuff I have (cos I'm cold - fever) and watch tv.

  Queenie - I'm so sorry you have to deal with those blisters and edema. You've been through so much already. I just want you to know that it means SO much to me that you keep checking in on my thread here. (my personal breakdown in cyberspace) We're made of tough stuff aren't we doll! I'm glad Lisa and Mamie Kitty are with you. My oldest, Beth, has been super, and my dogs haven't left me alone since the cop took me. Oh - Queenie hon - you would LOVE my new massage therapist! He's married with two adorable kids - but he's HOT! I wish I could send him down to take care of your aches and pains.

  To all who have replied here - I love you. I cannot say it enough.

  To Cassi - I'm so thankful I did not add to your pain. Your email brought me to tears as I remembered hearing about my best friend Starr. The analogy the nurse showed me was profound and I think of it several times a day now.

  To Chevy- I've been thinking of you quite often since I read your post. I understand how you feel sweety. My friend Starr made one attempt and lived, which I knew about, and I knew she had sooo many pills around her house. I regret not going to stay with her. They (jws) left her alone. Her second attempt succeeded and I was crushed.

  For everyone - If you know of someone who is severely depressed, or who has talked about 'leaving' or giving up, mentions the word suicide ONCE, starts making funeral plans and good-byes - call the police. Drag them, trick them - get them to the ER. Don't leave them alone.

  To those who are lurking - keep reading and reach out to those on the site who you can relate to. For the one who contacted me because of my experience (this thread), we all care, and as you can see, there is alot of support here. Email me anytime honey.

  Again - deepest thanks to my Guardian Angel - who is human, like you and I.

  sunbeams, moonbeams and everything magical,

  Salem (Mimilly)

  edited to add Chevy's nick as I couldn't see it before.

  Edited by - Mimilly on 31 August 2002 11:33:50
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  7

  The Compulsive Reader reviews Father's Touch

  by morrisamb in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  this woman's insight into sexual abuse is astonishing!

  thanks for reading...donald

  the compulsive reader (http://www.compulsivereader.com/html/)

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  Mimilly

  Morrisamb - Absolutely fantastic! I am sure it will be hard for me to read the book, but I am going to. I'm very happy that your book is getting these great reviews. I've only started my book, and it is too hard going. I can only imagine what it took for you to complete that true story.

  hugs and happiness,

  Mimilly
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  68

  Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

  by Sentinel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am having a very difficult time and i am here right now because i know in my heart, that when i explain what has just happened to me a few minutes ago, you will understand.

  many of you are no doubt going through the same thing.. within several posts here, i have spoken of my mother.

  my dear sweet mother, who just turned 78, and who has been a faithful jw since 1959. she abandoned me in 1981, when i decided to leave the borg, and for twelve years she did not speak to me, write to me, call me, or visit me.

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  Mimilly

  ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Karen)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  I'm so sorry you have to go through this hon. My mom left when I was Df'd so I thankfully was spared that which you must face each day.

  Wish I was closer to give you a real hug. My email is always open sweetie. Vent. You have every right to be angry and hurt. Just don't let those negative feelings become you ok? We're all here for ya.

  Mim/Salem

  Edited by - Mimilly on 30 August 2002 20:42:3
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  26

  Wanna E-mail George W Bush?

  by cellomould in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  stop the rush to war

  most americans agree that iraqs longtime dictator, saddam hussein, is a sadistic thug.

  despite this, white house calls for a massive, preemptive invasion of iraq are dangerously misguided, and not in tune with americans current priorities.

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  Mimilly

  Dubya won't even listen to his own people, let alone anyone from anywhere else. I seriously question his motives on invading Iraq. Saddam has to go - but this doesn't feel right at all, and frankly, scares me.

  Mimilly
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  39

  So I was put in the back of a police car....

  by Mimilly in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't i!

  i've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late.

  finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead.

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  Mimilly

  Well, I slept like a ton of rocks last night.

  I cannot say enough about this site and the amazing people here who sincerely care. Life is all about people caring about people. Ugg - you summed it up expertly. We all need each other.

  (((((((((((((((((((( guardian angel ))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm SO thankful you called them

  Mimilly
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  39

  So I was put in the back of a police car....

  by Mimilly in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't i!

  i've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late.

  finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead.

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  Mimilly

  Scully - John's Lunch is to drool for! I love their scallop dish.

  Outoftheorg - I'm not a person who is helped by the cold dished tell it as it is approach, because I know how it is, since I've been dealing with this for a very long time and probably will for the rest of my life to some degree. I get too much cold dish in every day life which is part of the problem. For me, the in your face tell it as it is approach would be enough to push me over the edge.

  I've experienced many sides to suicide. My best friend in the borg killed herself. While I was an EMT, I was called to a house where an older woman had overdosed and because it was in the rurals, it took over an hour for the coroner to get there - so I got to see the different reactions of the family members. And I, know what it is like to be drained, barely running on fumes and just tired of it all - emotionally and physically.

  I'm really tired, and it's now night, which is not a good time for me anyway. Later gators.

  Mimilly
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  39

  So I was put in the back of a police car....

  by Mimilly in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't i!

  i've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late.

  finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead.

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  Mimilly

  Cassi - I'll email you hon. Big hugs.

  Outoftheorg - I do take it seriously. But if I don't find some humor in things that go on, I wouldn't last another day. I can choose to laugh at being escorted by police through a waiting room, and telling my issues seven times, or I can let the humiliation of the back seat of a police car get to me, and the frustration at having to tell my issues that many times break me.

  I have also thanked my guardian angel profusely, via email and in my post.

  I apologize if I seemed too cheery in my original post - but I am truly overtired and then some. I looked at the day in a positive way. I DID reach out. And I AM thankful. I learned new lessons today, and an analogy I'll always carry. I do not in any way minimize depression and suicide. And I am seeking professional help.

  LDH - check yer email

  hugs n love to all of you - Salem/Mimilly
• 
  39

  So I was put in the back of a police car....

  by Mimilly in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't i!

  i've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late.

  finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead.

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  Mimilly

  Oops.... should start at the beginning of a story shouldn't I!

  I've been lower than a serpent's belly as of late. Finances just got a whole lot worse; argued 5 times with monopolistic telephone company who took my payment (money from 'hubby') yet didn't re-connect me; went searching for my resume on hubby's computer and found child porn instead. I woke him after the disturbing find and he said he forgot to delete it, that he had opened a winzip file from a complete stranger and that was what it was. The jury is still out on that one. Hubby knew I was suicidal when he drove me home and said nor did anything. He could've dropped me in front of the NS (major psych hosptial here).

  My oldest, Beth, had cleaned the house up. All I could do was sleep and cry. She kept asking me if I wanted to talk and I couldn't. Words were painful. She made a delicious supper and tried to get me to eat. I eventually gave in.. it smelled positively grand. She went off to bed and I continued to rock on my bed and cry and take pills and cry and take pills and pace and take pills - well, you get the idea. Cardinal Rule - reach out. I called someone from this site. This person got up at 2am and spent time with me that I will never forget. Remember reaching out is always scary and I didn't want to bother anyone. I had my suicide planned. I had begun to write letters and when I was done, I would 'leave'. Talking to this guardian angel calmed me down considerably, enough that I was ready for bed. There was a promise to call in the morning, as my DSL wasn't connected yet.

  Morning. I get a message on my phone to call or email this guardian angel so that he/she knows I'm ok. My DSL is finally working so I email. I go back to sleep and wake up to a frantic message that he/she has called the police. I called my angel and said things were ok, only to have the RCMP pull up in my driveway. An itty bitty lil police officer named Holly came to my door and wouldn't leave. I ended up going to the ER with a police escort. (neighbors love this stuff) As we were approaching the ER doors I told her that this is just what every depressed person needs - to have a police escort through the waiting rooms. (ugh) Holly and I actually got to know one another quite well, and while tired, my sense of humor was holding me up.

  This is the really good part. While Holly and I were waiting for the doc, I told her about my years as a JW. She didn't know much of them and I filled her in on ALL the latest goodies: pedophiles, shunning, kidnapping kids. All of it. I told her about Dateline, Panorama and Connie Chung. I told her they were dangerous because of the mind control and she quickly got the point. (I love this reverse witnessing! Especially to a cop!)

  A nurse came in and I told her what was up or rather down with me - then Dr. Fletcher, who decided that I should see a shrink and I agreed but I didn't know it would be at the main Psych Hospital, 20 minutes away. I just wanted to go home. Holly and I got back into the car, me in the back and I remarked that even though I was exhausted, the back of a cop car was lacking in 'cosy'. We laughed and joked the whole way in.

  Psych Hospital. I told Holly this would take several hours and she didn't believe me. Then I went through the reception.. blah blah blah. Then a RN came in with a clinical clerk and let Holly know this was going to take a looooooong time. Holly was set free and she motioned to me that she was sorry she had done this to me. I waved her off with a joke and said 'flee - go while you can'.

  When nurse and I were done, she had compiled an entire page of small print issues on my plate. She shook her head in amazement that I was still in fact, standing. Then she gave me an analogy that I will never forget. She said to imagine a black button on her palm. She said if all I had to do to die was press that button, then press it. My whole self recoiled and I said out loud "Hell no!" I couldn't get over the effect that analogy had on me. For the first time in my life, I realized how much I loved living. It was profound.

  Then the doctor saw me. I repeated it all again. I did say that if there is a next time, I'm bringing a tape recorder. I was beyond tired and a tad irriatable AND hungry PLUS the Diet coke machine took my money and I ended up with an expensive bottle of water! THAT was a crime! Even they hated that machine.

  Then I had to find a way home. We all agreed that the cops should take me home since they dragged me there to begin with, but it doesn't work that way, so I called a neighbor. In the end, the day was far different than what I thought - but reaching out and having someone care enough to call in the calvary was ventilation for my brain and filled that hope tank up enough to face another day.

  I'll never let this person off the hook though Guardian Angel thought the police would just leave when they saw I was ok. LOL But I can't thank this person enough. I needed a refresher course and I got one today. My neighbor drove me home and fed me pizza before I retired to my abode here. Diego was not pleased that I was gone all day.

  I may still need to go into the hospital for a rest. My life is changing so fast that it is very hard to hold on. After today, I will have no hesitation in admitting myself if I slip that low again. I'm in for alot of rocky times. I'm seeing my family physician tomorrow and getting referred to a shrink. I'm also going to go in for a massage.

  Thank you Simon and Ang for this site, where I have truly found family and friends who sincerely care. And thank you guardian angel. I've kept your name out of it unless you wanna tell them who you are. Thank you for caring. Thank you for calling the police, oh, and for a most interesting day

  Mimilly/Salem of the 'another day another lesson learned' class
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  28

  Hope Sirona got good news ...

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  wasn't today the day she was due to get her results?.

  here's hoping they are good ...

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  Mimilly

  Holding breath and crossing fingers............

  (we're in it for the long haul Sirona)

  (((((((((((((((Sirona)))))))))))))))))))))))

  love Mim