Laura Lisa...oh my, you got it bad darling. To help you out of your difficult situation you need to sit back and enjoy this Gilligan's Island theme song:
.. http://www.gilligansisle.com/theme.html
Oh, and you mentioned, "You are just trying to make a parodic incidence possibility more absurdly unobtainable here anyway."
Little do you know how badly I want to go! I've seriously thought about it and if I found enough other crazy people to join me...then I would change my name from the Skipper to the Professor and my life would probably be a whole lot happier.
I can live on coconut cream pie a long long time.
Skipper
All great deeds and all great thoughts have ridiculous beginnings--Albert Camus