Thats a great list. Im sure all of us relate to some of the concerns you listed.
I am doing a very slow fade. I employ several JWs and so far i is going well. My last meeting was Memorial but if I have a reason to go to the KH I will.
I can see why the structure and routine are important to you. I tend to chafe at structure and routine so for me it is a relief to let that go.
Once I was "awake" I spent some time observing the JWs who seem to thrive. Not the leaders or super achievers - they seem miserable and/or artificially happy. I was more intrigued by the ones who seem to be content and at ease.
The one thing they all had in common is they are using the religion as it suits them. They do the parts they want and dont do the parts they dont want to.
I guess its like the song says "Take what you need and leave the rest..."