Hi pimojw,
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
I feel like Flipper and wish you were my brother (a currently serving elder who is disdainful of me and my fading).
I am pretty sure you are NOT him but you do give me a lot of hope with your posts about your situation. If you can do this - so can he....one day!
You are headed in a good direction now. Even as things crumble and fall away, the relief and building of a real life far out weighs any losses.
At least that is what I am finding to be true.
Really glad you are here and posting.