There was a Sunday study article a year or so back (when I was still going) that made a point about the need to recognize how very hard it is on some to make meetings or to do anything at all spiritually speaking.
The article said to just make a meeting can be more of an effort for some than pioneering for someone who has better circumstances.
It also said to look at the efforts of others in that light.
I sat there thinking, amen! Of course the reason it was "hard" for me was because I had just had enough of the rhetoric and the spinning but still, they had the part about it being hard to be there right!
As it turns out, that was my last Sunday appearance at a Kingdom Hall. I left that day thinking that they had made a good point in that study article but it was really too little too late in my case.
Besides, for every one thing they say that borders on kind or "normal" there are at least 3 xs as many articles written in such a way that it makes you want to slap your forehead in disbelief.
I feel for you tornapart. I held on as long as I could too. Some of us have a lot to weigh out family wise, thats for sure!